Training manual according to DF ..
Don`t talk to the people, talk at them or over them.
Wear your lipstick tilted upwards at the edges to make yourself resemble The Joker from Batman.
Write a book or six and it gives you something to brag oops talk about.
Form half a dozen facebook groups all about yourself but tell the mugs oops I mean lovely people who join them that it`s all about them.
Stand in front of a mirror and practise lying with a straight face then progress to lying with a smile on your face, it`s easier than you think.
Practise your singing scales to perfect your voice, as so "MEEEEE ME MEEEEE, MEEE, ME "
Encourage your employers to support charity because it really does begin at home, or rather your best mate`s home.
Bribe oops I mean donate freebies to your friends so they can write all about you oops I mean the freebies and call it their blog.
Stroke a rhinocerous and feel its hide, then grow your own.
Never ever ever give up on anything because you`re always 100% right and keep pecking other peoples heads until they too admit you`re always 100% right.
Finally, believe in yourself at all times and live your life on screen, on air, on facebook, on twitter and sod reality.