Peter Simon

[Wirral70]

"If you've got a bent pile; if you've got something limp and want it up..." - Guess who, selling a Vax carpet cleaner.

Well that's at least one thing he said that actually made me laugh (sort of)...

Dirty Peter was shilling a G Tech Cordless Grass Trimmer (it seemed quite good and it was a good price too).

He was hysterical, screaming, slobbering. This was bizarre even by this utterly bizarre channel's standards :mysmilie_59:

 

[talisker25]

The langdons are bad for this on QVC he frequently comes on with his phone showing pictures of ice on his car or clutching stupid newspaper stories of arctic conditions from november to april or whatever to sell his snow and ice scrapper that gets crap reviews

RJ was shillings this today, I have to say that's it's great at shifting polystyrene beads.

 

[shopperholic]

RJ was shillings this today, I have to say that's it's great at shifting polystyrene beads.

That TSV was amazing at getting rid of those gravy granules too. :mysmilie_15:

Happy New Year talisker, and I hope 2017 brings you and every forumite and their loved ones, good health and happiness :mysmilie_852::mysmilie_852::mysmilie_852:

 

[Mommabear]

Well i`ve heard it all now, 20 odd minutes in to the carpet cleaner show, we have Peter who just came out with "As anyone should know, if you have a 14 year old pussy you should not touch it". Also now getting the guest Marie to say "no shrinkidge" and "stiffness", she looks uncomfortable...well worth a watch on replay if you want to see this wazak in full flow :sweat:

He was having a great time stretching a hose attachment out in front of him and saying 'I must, I must, I must improve my bust' :mysmilie_13: 'but I have a different doctor......Hickory Dickory Dock.....go on, you work it out, right, ok......' :mysmilie_13:

He's hysterical :sleepy:

As for 'working it out', We might actually want to purchase that chuffin Vax cleaner if that's ok with you, never mind 'working out' what you are trying to allude to in your preference of people's body parts!

Who in their right mind would yank his chain anyway, he's past it and he spits everywhere and coughs all the time uke: Maybe it would be easier to stomach if he was the slightest bit attractive.

 

[shopperholic]

Do what I do, email [email protected] and tell them you'll report them to the Advertising Standards Authority if they allow him to continue with his sexual innuendos, especially before 9pm when children may be watching. I've just done it now after reading what he's just said, and I really told them what I thought of him, in a polite manner because if you don't they'll just think you're being personal, not that the studio can do anything but word spreads.

 

[Dave]

I think the old duffer is totally unprofessional, and not in any way entertaining. Why watch him then some may say, quite rightly, but I say, I don't want to watch smut, or see models being mauled, and how much longer is he going to last, and continue to get away with it? Ideal World, wake up before it gets worse! No wonder Andy and Loen moved to CC.
Happy New Year to all, I posted this early, as I am about to open a nice bottle of wine, which has my name all over it. Have a lovely evening every one!:mysmilie_12:

 

[Mommabear]

Good idea Dave

Everyone x

 

[shopperholic]

I think the old duffer is totally unprofessional, and not in any way entertaining. Why watch him then some may say, quite rightly, but I say, I don't want to watch smut, or see models being mauled, and how much longer is he going to last, and continue to get away with it? Ideal World, wake up before it gets worse! No wonder Andy and Loen moved to CC.
Happy New Year to all, I posted this early, as I am about to open a nice bottle of wine, which has my name all over it. Have a lovely evening every one!:mysmilie_12:

Thanks Dave, enjoy your wine, I don't drink so I'll be enjoying my blackcurrant and soda, have a good one. :mysmilie_3:

 

[Keep Going]

IW really are trying to go out the game it seems.....

Selling a VAX he has spouted a whole lot of innuendo's but also said "I leak from both ends just like my 14 yo cat!"

Really what does he think is remotely funny or the worth in saying these things?

And as ever his line of "this item is surely worth £33.33" well yes it would be if that was the price but infact the correct price is £99.99 what other company tells you part price of an item? its madness.

All the best for 2017 everyone........well almost everyone :mysmilie_17:

 

[Price Plunge]

As others have pointed out, instances of innuendo may not be particularly offensive (if at all) in isolation, but when similar remarks are grouped together and/or part of a bigger story it risks becoming a problem through association. However as a sales technique, regular and/or clumsy use of innuendo usually comes over as being distinctly unprofessional and/or somewhat tasteless.

Of even greater concern however is the groping of clothing during the fashion demos; this is clearly unacceptable regardless of gender and sexual orientation when obvious consent hasn't been given, and implied consent doesn't count because work pressures can force people to do something that they themselves may be uncomfortable with.

 

[mossie269]

As for myself as a tradesman innuendo is part of everyday life but even in isolation it can be offensive to many and as as a shopping channel i am sure young kids will hear it as well, it is not the appropriate place for it.

 

[Susie Wusie]

Switched on to see Peter selling pro skins intelligent slim range , he said the phone number is
0905 64848 twice when it's clear as a bell on the screen 090 56 484848, he then said only £22.50 when it's actually £44.99 plus £5.99 postage and packing , flexi pay is £22.50 thats 2 payments not 1 Peter, for crying out loud somebody shoot the man.

 

[Price Plunge]

Switched on to see Peter selling pro skins intelligent slim range , he said the phone number is
0905 64848 twice when it's clear as a bell on the screen 090 56 484848, he then said only £22.50 when it's actually £44.99 plus £5.99 postage and packing , flexi pay is £22.50 thats 2 payments not 1 Peter, for crying out loud somebody shoot the man.

The abbreviated phone number is something he frequently says except perhaps towards the end of an hour or at the very beginning when he normally says it correctly. (Strange, that.) Less forgivable of course are his Flexi-pay mishaps that never used to happen and can only be thought of as intentional given that he's supposedly being guided by someone in the production gallery via an earpiece.

He also occasionally makes genuine mistakes but some appear to be less genuine than others :mysmilie_59:

 

[Keep Going]

And Sheila became Sharon according to r'Peter!

Good friend indeed eh Pete?

 

[Keep Going]

Now the walking wonder that is r'Peter is selling a exercise bike.

How the man is still with us is beyond belief according to the man himself, any illness he has NOT had dont seem worth having! BUT BUT BUT worry not folks, the exercise bike is here to save us all, and the fitness and health guru himeslf is giving us all his top health tips like.........have that cookie or sandwich, if its 100 cals or 350 cals have them then burn them off on this bike!! Oh dear!!!!!!

Once again the mouth opens and words float out like no ones buisness.

These bike shows are becoming a master class in him trying to be all compasionate and thankful to god himeslf that he is still on this earth, think hes about to tell us all to get this bike and you will live to eternity!

 

[historymystery]

The stories are flexible to suit the occasion and the product. So Mum's alive/not alive, he lives in a house with/without adequate heating, he has every ailment known to man (or woman)/he is as fit as a fiddle thanks to.......(name of whichever product is appropriate), he is pleading poverty/showing pictures of the house he wants to buy, etc. etc. No wonder he can't keep tabs on the different stories he's told - there's a very true saying that liars have to have good memories, isn't there? I'm waiting for the medical profession to invent a cure for which Pete has no known disease - heaven knows he's run the gauntlet of most ailments in his time. He should be hoping Karma doesn't come back to bite him over this constant tale-telling about his health.

Now the walking wonder that is r'Peter is selling a exercise bike.

How the man is still with us is beyond belief according to the man himself, any illness he has NOT had dont seem worth having! BUT BUT BUT worry not folks, the exercise bike is here to save us all, and the fitness and health guru himeslf is giving us all his top health tips like.........have that cookie or sandwich, if its 100 cals or 350 cals have them then burn them off on this bike!! Oh dear!!!!!!

Once again the mouth opens and words float out like no ones buisness.

These bike shows are becoming a master class in him trying to be all compasionate and thankful to god himeslf that he is still on this earth, think hes about to tell us all to get this bike and you will live to eternity!

 

[historymystery]

The best was a while back, when he was talking about "my good friend" Peter Sherlock, who very nearly became Sheeter Purlock in Petespeak. Trouble is, as you've already said, the words just flow out of his mouth (like poetry?). Pity he never engages brain before opening mouth.

And Sheila became Sharon according to r'Peter!

Good friend indeed eh Pete?

 

[Wirral70]

Old Dirty Peter is another goon who has seriously piled the pounds on. I know he lost weight all those years back when he was poorly but I just saw him on the (yawn) Radiator 'show' and he's definitely back to his old podgy self.

So what occurs then? I thought he was a dedicated follower of SIR DODDY FLUMP and Mr Brittas' mantra.

I'm beginning to wonder if these goons are pulling our legs and telling fibs about using the kit. Either that or the kit is shat and DODDY and Brittas are maybe just a pair of schlocky salesmen in shorts :mysmilie_59:

 

[Belligerent]

He has honestly just advised that anyone buying the sub £200 Scuderia Ferrari watch he is selling puts it on their insurance! Yes, that's right, a cheap watch brand available in Argos is valuable enough to be specifically insured!

His presentation for what is an absolutely average watch is beyond parody.

 

[Wirral70]

He has honestly just advised that anyone buying the sub £200 Scuderia Ferrari watch he is selling puts it on their insurance! Yes, that's right, a cheap watch brand available in Argos is valuable enough to be specifically insured!

His presentation for what is an absolutely average watch is beyond parody.

Indeed, these predominantly quartz watches are squarely aimed at a particular audience which is fine but they probably require insuring about as much as one of Kinkade's plethora of twee biscuit tin prints/photocopies.

I'm sure there's nothing inherently wrong with these watches other than they seem eyewateringly expensive for what they are.

Despite what complete and utter drivel the appalling experts and goons spew out one would think that a buyer would give some thought to the fact that they are being sold on Ideal World, an extremely downmarket Selly Telly channel not a Bona Fide jeweller, and in a manner that can only be described as vapid and grotesque.

But if anyone really wants one maybe just pop down to Argos, another retailer not really noted for it's high end horological heritage (and doesn't pretend otherwise) but at least you won't have to endure an hour of abject excruciation and hysteria :mysmilie_59:

http://www.argos.co.uk/search/scuderia-ferrari/