The Show Must Go On Says Tova
- Thread starter bags
- Start date
Help Support ShoppingTelly:
ALWAYSSKINT
Registered Shopper
Good to see her back. I am glad she is still working with her scents and i have just purchased the original signature perfume that has just been on and i do hope it is the same as all those years ago when she first had it out.
V
Vienna
Guest Shopper
She`s been luckier than most people though. When my husband died i got 2 weeks bereavement leave and was then told if I needed to take more time off it would have to be unpaid. Just what you need when you`ve become a bereaved parent with a teenage son at uni to support !
Yep tova`s right the show must always go on , for all of us.
Yep tova`s right the show must always go on , for all of us.
I think the experts would suggest getting back to work as soon as possible is the best plan. You can't expect employers to support people while they take weeks off after a bereavement. Not with everything else they have to support, maternity and paternity leave as an example. And anyway, what do people do if they're not at work? Sit at home crying or moping? Thinking about their loss and how unhappy they feel? I'm not minimising the devastation people feel after a death but I don't think being off work is going to make anything better. After watching my own father die from cancer over a period of 3 months I can honestly say that getting back into a normal routine quickly helped. My mum, whose routine revolved around him, struggled more.
Tova is no doubt lucky to she isn't turning up at an office or vfactory every day, but appearances on tv are booked months ahead, Ernie was probably still alive when this visit was put in the diary. And let's not forget the brand is owned by QVC, she has an employer who would want her to fulfil her commitment. Good on her for not bailing out.
Tova is no doubt lucky to she isn't turning up at an office or vfactory every day, but appearances on tv are booked months ahead, Ernie was probably still alive when this visit was put in the diary. And let's not forget the brand is owned by QVC, she has an employer who would want her to fulfil her commitment. Good on her for not bailing out.
Haven't heard from what I've seen, no Tcallers and no text but they have been a bit hap hazard of late due to some problems.
I do understand the thinking regarding getting back into the swing of work.
Athough in Tova's case having to travel to London and speak live on air about a scent developed for your recently lost husband. really can't be very easy for her.
On top of that having to speak about the items of jewellery he had made and talk about the times it was given to you.
I do understand the thinking regarding getting back into the swing of work.
Athough in Tova's case having to travel to London and speak live on air about a scent developed for your recently lost husband. really can't be very easy for her.
On top of that having to speak about the items of jewellery he had made and talk about the times it was given to you.
B
Bauble
Guest Shopper
I guess some deaths are easier to accept and deal with than others. For example a very aged spouse or parent may be less traumatic than a child or young adult son or daughters sudden death. I agree if you are able , getting back to work probably helps.
Dame Fondacox
Registered Shopper
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2011
- Messages
- 1,527
She said the last time she was on, just before Ernie died, that her next visit was early September. And who's to say that she wasn't back to work straight after the funeral? I'm sure her work involves more than fronting the brand on TV.
I allow members of staff 6-7 days compassionate leave for the death of a very close relative, if they need longer then they have to use up holidays, time in lieu, take unpaid leave etc. I did allow someone who lost her husband, unexpectedly in his early-50s, just before Christmas, longer due to the shock factor and when she did come back I told her to do a phased return until she felt ready to throw herself back into the thick of it. She was back up to speed quicker than anyone could have imagined - that's not to say she wasn't carrying her grief but as people have said, work can be a distraction from it. I actually think going home from work is the hardest part as you realise life isn't still the same.
I allow members of staff 6-7 days compassionate leave for the death of a very close relative, if they need longer then they have to use up holidays, time in lieu, take unpaid leave etc. I did allow someone who lost her husband, unexpectedly in his early-50s, just before Christmas, longer due to the shock factor and when she did come back I told her to do a phased return until she felt ready to throw herself back into the thick of it. She was back up to speed quicker than anyone could have imagined - that's not to say she wasn't carrying her grief but as people have said, work can be a distraction from it. I actually think going home from work is the hardest part as you realise life isn't still the same.
fulhamphil
Registered Shopper
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2008
- Messages
- 1,074
I thought Tova appeared her normal, elegant self when on with Dale earlier. Didn't hear any t-callers.
I know it isn't quite the same as losing a partner, but when my father died a couple of years ago I took six days off. On the day of my return I was told in no uncertain terms that it was expected that five days should be sufficient. Rather than 'turn nasty' they grudgingly allowed the six days. As someone who had never taken bereavement leave before in all my years of working, and hadn't even had a day's sick leave for goodness knows how many years, it did rather rankle.
I know it isn't quite the same as losing a partner, but when my father died a couple of years ago I took six days off. On the day of my return I was told in no uncertain terms that it was expected that five days should be sufficient. Rather than 'turn nasty' they grudgingly allowed the six days. As someone who had never taken bereavement leave before in all my years of working, and hadn't even had a day's sick leave for goodness knows how many years, it did rather rankle.
B
Bauble
Guest Shopper
Its a tough one-it really is something that cant just be "sorted" for everyone in say 6 days. I have heard people who are too shaky to return, go the doctors and get signed off sick as a way to prolong their leave from work.
Akimbo
Fluffy
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2008
- Messages
- 10,445
I think bereavement leave is to help deal with all the paper work and phone-calls the next of kin faces when someone dies, it was like a full-time job when my mum died and she had a v straight-forward will (Please everyone, write a will and keep it up to date! it's a bit of a mare if you don't). Trouble is I live in Sussex and her home was in Lancs. The grieving process takes months, years sometimes.
Jude xx
Jude xx
Brissles
Registered Shopper
I'm so glad you took that view, because an unexpected death over the holidays does up the 'shock factor' even more. My 53 year old husband collapsed with a heart attack on New Years Day - no warnings, nothing. I had the 2 weeks off for funeral arrangements, then went back to work, otherwise as BB says, what do you do except ruminate and climb the walls, and it was the best thing possible, just like your employee. A nightmare to begin with, but then the routine of 'life' helps better than any Counsellor can.
Again you are SO right, it was the journey home and going to an empty house that was the killer. So I would haunt the shopping malls until they closed, just for company and life going on. I quickly realised that only ME could get me through the tough times, nobody else.
Everyone who loses a close relative should have say 2 weeks if they need it for all the running around that needs doing.
People deal with things in different ways. There is no set time limit. But I agree that getting back in the routine is probably best for most people.
I know its not the same thing, but when i first split with my long term BF I could manage the days (just) but then cried all the way home!
People deal with things in different ways. There is no set time limit. But I agree that getting back in the routine is probably best for most people.
I know its not the same thing, but when i first split with my long term BF I could manage the days (just) but then cried all the way home!
Bensmum
Registered Shopper
He was 95 don't forget, so was obviously expected any time soon.
S
SparklyBarbs
Guest Shopper
I think thats a very heartless thing
to say
Brissles
Registered Shopper
I dont think its heartless, just realistic. How many times have we all heard when on hearing the death of someone very old - "well he WAS 90 something ". Yes its always tragic to hear of the death of anyone whatever their age, but Bensmum was stating the obvious.
S
SparklyBarbs
Guest Shopper
Just because you say it doesn"t mean its right. Not long ago on this forum people were saying how sorry they were, pages of them, and now "he was 95 and obviusly expected".
Quite a change
S
SparklyBarbs
Guest Shopper
Sorry to hear that Janie :flower:
