The Show Must Go On Says Tova

[caretodiffer]

exactly liam - somewhere in my grief i feel indignant (tears as i type now) - it doesn't matter that i'm 60. i want my mum

:sad::mysmilie_853: Oh, Janie, am so sorry, I feel so sad for you, sending a great big hug to you.

I lost my father when I was 23 and I still miss him badly, and I was not at home and could not even attend the funeral and my brain kind of blanked the actual day for many years and I could not tell the years when people asked me which year he passed away and they thought it was strange, but I think my brain just blanked it, because I was not there to grieve and say a farewell to him.
A few years later, when I was doing my counselling course, during a session ,my lecturer asked me to write down the things I wanted to say to him, and my farewell to him in a piece of paper , and with the support of my colleagues, had me burn that paper. It helped me a little bit... but even after all these years, my heart hurts when I think of him, a feeling that is hard to describe.
When we see our loved ones suffering from illnesses or pain, we want death to release them from that pain , but we still do not want them to go, for once they are gone, that's it, finito and they are so precious to us. I just cannot say what I feel I want to:sad:
There is never a right way to grieve and we all do it in different ways.

 

[janie]

thanks caretodiffer. a big (((hug))) from me too.

and also to jr's ego - when dylan (ginger tom) was put to sleep, it took me 4 years before i could even think about having louis (very handsome tuxedo kitty). it is accepted nowadays that people grieve as much for a beloved pet as a beloved person. all you get from a pet is unconditional love - no arguments or angst - which is believed to contribute to the depth of grief people feel when they lose a pet, especially the elderly.

 

[janie]

oops forgot the hug - (((jr's ego)))