Stockpiling...

[Mazza]

So sorry to read these family stories. Honestly, some people eh? (I had a pretty awful time with my mother too on occasion. Well quite a lot of occasions actually.)

 

[SisterBliss]

So sorry to read these family stories. Honestly, some people eh? (I had a pretty awful time with my mother too on occasion. Well quite a lot of occasions actually.)

That's a shame when it's your Mom. Sometimes strange times make us think about stuff & offer an olive branch?

 

[candycane]

That's a shame when it's your Mom. Sometimes strange times make us think about stuff & offer an olive branch?

You're right SB. I didn't get on or speak to my mum for years and in the end decided that life was too short to carry on petty feuds which were probably both our faults. We've still had huge rows but less and less as we've got older which can only be a good thing.

CC

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Distance makes it much easier. You can hold your tongue for an hour every couple of weeks, I don’t know how husbands/wives cope if their other half and their mother are inseparable it must make any private time near impossible if MIL is at the door every 5 mins and vise a versa . I have known sons (alone) who go to her mothers house every night for their meal and mothers who carry the cooked meal to daughter every day.

 

[Lemonpop]

I feel for all of you. My family is ok,no major strife now. My mum and dad had me,my sister and my brother. My brother,who is the youngest was spoilt rotten up to mum and dads death. My sister had a major fall out with mum that lasted about 3 years all to do with her not getting my niece an Easter egg but gave my brothers two money. My dad gave my mum an 18ct white gold ruby and diamond ring and a matching pendant, worth a lot of money. Now mum promised my sisters daughter them and then my brothers daughter them. When I told mum she had promised both granddaughters the jewellery she told me I was to have them and decide who got them. Needless to say the said jewellery has never been seen by me or my sister since.

 

[Vienna]

That's a shame when it's your Mom. Sometimes strange times make us think about stuff & offer an olive branch?

Mr V would offer an olive branch to his daughter was she not trying to control who he does or doesn`t talk to. Mr V is almost 70, his daughter is in her mid 40`s and she may have divorced her ex but she can`t turn the whole World against him nor dictate who her Dad speaks to. She accuses her Dad of being disloyal which is far from true, had her ex done something wrong or ill treated her in any way then her Dad would be the first to speak against him but her ex did nothing wrong, she simply found someone else who could keep her in the style she wants and she went for it. Its obvious she`s moved on, her new man left his wife for her, they moved in together, both got divorced and are now married so why the bitterness towards her ex and why the need to turn people against him ? It`s childish and reminds me of kids who say to other kids "you speak to so and so and I`m not gonna be your friend !"
I met Mr V, 11 years ago and his late wife and my late husband had both been dead for a number of years. When we married almost 9 years ago Mr V still had jewellery and personal items which belonged to his late wife, he even had her wedding dress and it never bothered me that our bedroom still contained some of her items because he loved her for many years, she was the mother of his children and they shared most of their lives together because they met as young teenagers. They were several chapters in his book of life and our own marriage are just later chapters. We both talk fondly and frequently of our late spouses and my late husband helped me become the woman I am today and his late wife helped him become the man he is today.
Once we`d been married a while Mr V decided he wanted to part with his late wife`s jewellery and the few belongings he`d kept of hers. I helped him gather them, asked him to tell me the story behind some of them and suggested he gave everything to his daughter who could then pass them onto her daughters when the time was right and we both explained to her that we weren`t airbrushing her Mum out of her Dad`s life, we were simply passing on the things we knew her Mum would want her to have. My heart breaks for my husband when he sees the daughter he loved so dearly ignore him, refuse to talk to him and fail to include him in her new marriage but her won`t let her control him because that would be the thin end of the wedge in him living his own life as he chooses to and as he`s growing older. If (God forbid) anything should happen to me first, then she`d just take over his life and order him about or even stick him in a home and as Mr V says himself, he may be touching his 70`s, he may have a dodgy heart and diabetes but he aint dead yet and no bugger is going to treat him as if he`s gaga !

 

[Silver Fox]

As we get older we have a past life, just be open about anything the big and small in detail. Nobody needs to be in the situation I was several weeks ago when I had just been a funeral of someone I had been with for years, supported through a Cancer diagnosis which was terminal, done everything in support and I do mean everything
and someone turns up and announces they are the deceased person’s ‘Partner’.

 

[Twilight]

Vienna, your husband's daughter is one nasty piece of work. I know you said that when she was younger he put her on a pedestal, so do many parents, but they don't end up with adult sons & daughters like her. Not all nice people have nice kids & not everyone born to a despicable person follows a bad route in life. I imagine she finds your tolerance & attitude to life very difficult to accept because she must know that you're so much better than her & she can't do a thing about it.

As we get older we have a past life, just be open about anything the big and small in detail. Nobody needs to be in the situation I was several weeks ago when I had just been a funeral of someone I had been with for years, supported through a Cancer diagnosis which was terminal, done everything in support and I do mean everything
and someone turns up and announces they are the deceased person’s ‘Partner’.

My life, I know you'd written about losing someone recently but that's horrendous, I'm so sorry.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

As we get older we have a past life, just be open about anything the big and small in detail. Nobody needs to be in the situation I was several weeks ago when I had just been a funeral of someone I had been with for years, supported through a Cancer diagnosis which was terminal, done everything in support and I do mean everything
and someone turns up and announces they are the deceased person’s ‘Partner’.

I am so sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine how awful that must have been for you.

 

[Silver Fox]

Thankyou Twilight. That is something you do not get over but have to deal with.I have a very good Counsellor. People who do such things have great problems but they walk away and leave.If it was a physical assault there could be a court case but this is just as serious, but nothing can done?

 

[Vienna]

As we get older we have a past life, just be open about anything the big and small in detail. Nobody needs to be in the situation I was several weeks ago when I had just been a funeral of someone I had been with for years, supported through a Cancer diagnosis which was terminal, done everything in support and I do mean everything
and someone turns up and announces they are the deceased person’s ‘Partner’.

That is heartbreaking. You gave so much and were kicked in the teeth for it.

 

[Silver Fox]

I am so sorry, I can’t even begin to imagine how awful that must have been for you.

Thankyou all. I am going through a difficult time and I do not know what in the future I will he to deal with but I will survive ( sorry the song comes to mind) These things leave a scar which never goes away. Time changes many things, some not , there are decent people out there, but some not.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I could say Karma but from personal experience some people manage to sail through using and abusing all their life and it never comes back on them.

Difficult as it is we just have to rise above these people and know in our hearts that it isn’t us it’s them.

 

[alter ego]

As we get older we have a past life, just be open about anything the big and small in detail. Nobody needs to be in the situation I was several weeks ago when I had just been a funeral of someone I had been with for years, supported through a Cancer diagnosis which was terminal, done everything in support and I do mean everything
and someone turns up and announces they are the deceased person’s ‘Partner’.

SF - that's awful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

What did she want? Because in my experience people like that always want something.

Had any legalities been sorted? When it comes down to it you need protection and that comes in the form of the law. We've made mirror wills and had Power of Attorneys done. Hopefully, that will be enough when the worms come out of the woodwork.

 

[Anna]

So sorry to hear about what happened to you and your loved one Silver Fox. My condolences on your loss.

 

[stratobuddy]

My suitcase has just discovered that we won't be going on holiday this year

 

[donna255]

My family were rather strange they never bothered much with each other weddings and funerals only. This is my Mum's side my Dad was from Kent and my Mum did not like his family so I never knew any of them.

My granny died when I was 15 but I do remember my Mum and Aunt going at it over who got what. My granny's fur coat and furniture. I had my Mum moaning about my Aunt and her taking stuff, then my Aunt moaning about my Mum to me about her taking stuff that she thought she should have. I might have been a teenager but I just kept well out of it.

When my Mum died in my early 20s she was 60 so young, I gave my Aunt some of her jewellery I had bought my Mum over the years saving up for. When my Aunt died 3 years later her husband gave the jewellery away to his family and I thought it should have been returned to me. I was very pissed off but hasn't the guts to tell him.

 

[Silver Fox]

Thankyou at all who have commented on my ‘experience’.We can move forward and start to recover because we know we could never ever behave in such a wicked manner and should pity those who do.

 

[SisterBliss]

SF - that's awful. I'm so sorry for your loss.

What did she want? Because in my experience people like that always want something.

Had any legalities been sorted? When it comes down to it you need protection and that comes in the form of the law. We've made mirror wills and had Power of Attorneys done. Hopefully, that will be enough when the worms come out of the woodwork.

I'm so sorry to say that the 'worms' always do come out for their feed.

 

[Anna]

People are very weird. I like to think me and Mr A are fairly normal, but over the years I have met some horrible people who always seem to get away with things. Neighbours we have lived by who are odd, like my latest neighbour who, as I have said previously, has been using power tools every day except for 2 since lockdown. It doesn't enter his very small brain that everyone is stuck at home and would like peace. I guess what I am trying to say is what we all know there's nowt so strange as folk, and when money is involved you see people's true colours. I am presuming they are after something. Some people have no shame.