well you know things are bad at qvc when the christmas adverts is the same as last year with a new tune added
They're probably producing a new one. It will go something like this:
Open to medium close-up of roaring fire in Inglenook fireplace. Pan right to ridiculously gaudy, tacky, tawdry Christmas tree with a puke-inducing Thomas Pacconi nativity scene. Cut to the perfect children with ear-to-ear grins running through the door. Cut to close-up of little Jack opening up his gift. He smiles with joy as he looks at a model car. Cut to close-up of his sister Jemima whose face lights up as she takes out a Charlie bear and holds it close to her heart. Cut to Mummy in the perfect white kitchen dusting some icing sugar over her home-made Victoria sponge cake (ooh they lifted that scene from another promo). Cut to the perfect looking mummy and daddy clinking glasses as they watch over their children playing in front of the hearth. They look at each other and then it jumps to a close-up of Mummy looking wistful and shedding a tear as she revels in that moment of blissful hygge, all surrounded by QVC products.
But then...
The husband says: "Darling, I'm sorry to tell you this but I've been seeing Jennifer from work for the last 18 months. We're serious and actually we're expecting a child together, therefore I am filing for divorce, and because you signed a pre-nuptual agreement you won't be getting a penny. Then Mummy looks horrified, starts shaking with rage and shrieks:
"You B***ARD!" and bashes him over the head with the Kitchen Aid. Then Jemima sets the Christmas tree on fire...
Cut to Mummy arriving in Prison:
"Your name is Sylvia Cunliffe-Cave, is that correct?"
"You have been charged with one count of murder and have been remanded in custody pending trial. Is that correct? Now go through there for your shower and lice check!"