Mike Mason Stock Phrases - please feel free to add

[Gift Horse]

"I'm not trying to scaremonger you but....."

"You've gone absolutely mad for these...absolutely berserk."

"How many left?......Blimey, is that all?... Goodness gracious me...these are gonna go....they're flying out."

Wow, it's a busy show... right gang, you've absolutely destroyed my stock."

"I'll tell you somethink....I've worked in Shopping Telly for a very long time ...so it pays to listen to the bald fella once in a while."

 

[Muttley]

"That would sell for £1000 six days a week and twice on Sunday"

 

[HughTwo]

"I will give you back every pound and penny of your first payment"

"You're not buying it, you're trying it".

"These are incredible.....and I mean incredible".

"Lurvvvvve it"

 

[Choosi5050]

"I'm not trying to scaremonger you but....."

"You've gone absolutely mad for these...absolutely berserk."

"How many left?......Blimey, is that all?... Goodness gracious me...these are gonna go....they're flying out."

Wow, it's a busy show... right gang, you've absolutely destroyed my stock."

"I'll tell you somethink....I've worked in Shopping Telly for a very long time ...so it pays to listen to the bald fella once in a while."

Is this the bloke who used to be on Bid TV - the one who looks and sounds like a relic from the good old days of 1970’s second hand car salesmen?

 

[Duke of Cheese]

I feels it, Me….Music….Gift from Bleedin’ God…Genuinely…How can one beautiful bald fella receive so many blessings from above? I really don’t care if you hate me..I just have to check every post to make sure you do…

 

[Muttley]

Is this the bloke who used to be on Bid TV - the one who looks and sounds like a relic from the good old days of 1970’s second hand car salesmen?

I couldn't have put it better myself. He didn't have the scruffy beard in those days.

 

[Gift Horse]

"Can I ask you somethink......every single one of ya.....how'd you sleep last nite?.....cos I've got this fantastic memory foam mattress...,,"

 

[Duke of Cheese]

I couldn't have put it better myself. He didn't have the scruffy beard in those days.

Just the scruffy rhetoric..

 

[Gift Horse]

"Just get these home.....and open them....and try them....and if you don't love, love, love your new.......set of 24 Philips batteries.......more than family members.....then send them all back for a full refund.....less your p&p."

 

[Herring]

"I'm not saying this to hurry, rush or pressure you, but you need to get a wriggle on, you have been so advised"

"Everyone wants what we've got, and we've not got many…"

"Web's gone berserk, phones are in meltdown, loads of you coming in… knew this would happen; this is gonna sell out"

"This [product] is [adjective] — and I mean [adjective]" Edit: @HughTwo beat me to that one

"We are the shop that never shuts" —'up', I reply when he says that.

"Get yourself one of these"

 

[Gift Horse]

"Crikey, you've all gone mental.......we haven't even told you the price yet and you're buying them already."

 

[Gift Horse]

Right gang, I"ll tell you somethink....you is gonna wanna join me at 9 o'clock tonite..... phone your mums and dads, aunts and uncles and tell them....cuz we got this ceramic heater at a price you is not gonna believe....and we is expecting an instant sell out."

 

[Tellyfreak]

Started watching him last night ( Friday ) did he have a cob on or what !!! Moaning all the time " can you turn that air conditioning down " then started picking holes in viewers names " Brian but you've spelt it brain do you have one ! " turned over channels when he started .

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Right…why is this piece of clockwork shyte not working?? Right…OK….We only got this into the business just before the show, so I ain’t done me meticulous preparation.. Ah right…some fuc…didn’t put the batteries in…Nah…clockwork, ain’t it? Bleedin’ non-working factory sample again..

 

[Gift Horse]

"To be honest with you......(followed by a great, big, fat lie)......."

"Honestly ......(followed by a great, big, fat lie)...."

"To tell you the truth......(followed by a great, big, fat lie)......"

"Truthfully......(followed by a great, big, fat lie)......"

 

[historymystery]

"To be honest with you......(followed by a great, big, fat lie)......."

"Honestly ......(followed by a great, big, fat lie)...."

"To tell you the truth......(followed by a great, big, fat lie)......"

"Truthfully......(followed by a great, big, fat lie)......"

He only needs a camel-hair overcoat and a trilby hat and he'd be Arthur Daley from 'Minder' brought to life. I wonder if he has a lock-up where all the dodgy gear's kept?

 

[Tellyfreak]

Makes me almost wet myself when he's selling that perfume which smells similar to one that retails for £250 & he says " we are selling it for £9.99 !!! " don't talk such crap of course it's knock off how could they sell it for 9.99 when it's supposed to be 250 + in shops !!! .

 

[Gift Horse]

"Trust me on this one......(followed by an enormous lie)..."

"To be quite frank with you.......(followed by an enormous lie)....."

"I really value my integrity......(followed by an enormous lie)....."

"I'm going to be really straight with you here.....(followed by an enormous lie)...."

"I really wouldn't want to mislead you in any way......(followed by an enormous lie)....."

And of course: Yiannis Morgan: "I'd never lie to you.......(followed by a whopping, great lie)......"

 

[Muttley]

Started watching him last night ( Friday ) did he have a cob on or what !!! Moaning all the time " can you turn that air conditioning down " then started picking holes in viewers names " Brian but you've spelt it brain do you have one ! " turned over channels when he started .

That's interesting because people on the random musings thread have said that other presenters have appeared angry lately. I'm wondering if management have set sales targets which are stressing them out, even though they always claim everything is flying out the door. Something has caused this sudden stress.

 

[Samki]

The ones on QVC are at it too - very pushy