I'm not personally religious however I seem to recall something from school about 12 days of Christmas. When that period begins and ends I really have no idea. I don't think I've had such a miserable, horrible Christmas in years. In my view it's spun out to ridiculous proportions - notably by QVC who start their sickly campaigns and bring out THAT ad with the child on the carousel and the lovely mummy and her lovely sponge cake and the train set and the inglenook fireplace and the tree and the aga and the Kitchen Aid etc etc. Then there's poxy Christmas in July.
I have not had a proper meal since falling ill on Saturday and have just about had 1 or 2 small bowls of porridge with sultanas each day. I have to spray my throat with Difflam spray and eat the porridge during a 3-minute time window. I started worrying about work so I went in there only to be sent home. Then I went to Asda thinking I'd try and get some ingredients. Despite drifting in and out of fever I do still feel hungry. When I got to Asda there so many people on Christmas Eve I just found it too much and ended up sitting on the floor in the clothes section underneath a rail of coats for about 20 minutes as I lost my energy. Then I just left and went home. Then I started shaking and rang the NHS 111 service who suggested I drive to Enfield (I live in North London) at 2 in the morning. Then I went to my local walk-in centre at 7am, by which time I'd totally lost my voice, and waited 4 hours to be seen, only to be told to take f***ing ibuprofen and paracetamol - which did nothing for the ******* bastardly evil vicious throat pain. Because I couldn't talk I had to write things down. Then it turned out that the nurse practitioner was dyslexic and seemed to think "IMAGINING" was "imaging?" (she said with a childish questioning tone in her voice). She seemed to think that because I'd lost my voice, I'd lost my mind. The problem was that during the feverish bits, so did I. I just walked out of there. Today I went to Sainsbury's. Virtually nothing in there to buy. No organic meat or vegetables.. Then I walked to Asda. Same thing. M&S - closed. I probably would have been better staying at home than wasting energy I haven't got. I'm sorry for Christmas fans but I really, really do NOT like this horrible, boring, tacky time of the year when I feel I'd be better off dead.
