Is ...... ?

[Julius]

I do hope you're feeling a tad better today Julius. When you're ill and live alone, everything is exacerbated to the 'nth degree, ie 'nobody cares' / 'I could die and no-one would know' / etc etc.

I suffered for 3 weeks before Christmas with flu/cold whatever and felt I would never feel 'well' again, but I did. Christmas Eve / Day / Boxing Day, I was alone with my dog for company, and spoke to nobody for 3 whole days. I have 2 brothers with families - in the North, and 15 minutes away, but saw neither of them - I'm simply the widowed elderly sister/aunt with no children, but I'm certainly NOT bloody 'simple' !!!

I do agree Julius, ad men continually plug the 'norm' of smiling kids with a cast of thousands for relatives and more food on the table that makes you feel sick. Well, isn't it about time those same ad-men who shove diversity in our faces as the norm, (but in reality it isn't), start to consider the section of the population who ARE alone at Christmas and cater for their needs as well ?

It'll soon all be over Julius, drink some hot oxo - for nourishment when the throat refuses all else, and keep warm.

Thank you for your understanding, Brissles. I can see you know what it's like. It's actually quite frightening. I tried the Oxo - had some cubes in the cupboard - and it was alright as a drink. Quite surprising in fact. I managed to get out to Sainsburys today and also to the pharmacy for some co codamol tablets - which have helped. I managed to eat some tomato soup and a soft buttered roll and am starting to feel I'm over the worst of it. Managed to sleep for about 4 hours - which is something, at least. It's just so strange when you're still hungry but you can't eat and you're almost exhausted but can't sleep. After nearly a week of that I will need to build myself up again. There's a really good tonic / supplement called Spiru-Tein that they sell at my local health food shop, so I'm going to try and go there tomorrow. Might also try and go for a walk around the park just to get some fresh air.

 

[Julius]

Oh Julius, you have had a miserable time of it. I was going to suggest a take-away (or delivery), but I think Brissles has the right idea with the hot Oxo.

I had a real stinker last summer, in the middle of the heatwave, and yes, you do just want to curl up and die. Perhaps you'll be able to get some proper medical care, now that most places are open again.

I do hope you begin to feel better soon.

Thank you EM. I had 2 cups of the Oxo and a tin of Heinz tomato soup and a roll today, plus a bowl of porridge and sultanas and and 8 cups of Twinings lemon & ginger tea, and have felt this horrible virus lessen its grip a little - thank goodness. I'm not going back to work until next week. It's so debilitating not being able eat or sleep and being in constant pain. If anything I will never take my usual good health for granted. I can speak a little bit now, although my voice does not have anywhere near its usual strength, but I'm going to rest it.

 

[Dame Fondacox]

I don't do anything Christmassy until at least 1st December and I always observe the 12 days of Christmas, not for religious reasons but it's my favourite holiday. I have 2 weeks off work (the business closes for a week so I only need a few days of annual leave to make up a fortnight) and really enjoy the break during these short days. I deliberately avoid QVC and daytime magazine shows as it irritates me that they sweep it aside so quickly after a long and protracted build-up.

 

[Julius]

Julius, the last sentence in your post alarmed me. How are you feeling today ?

Hello,

Yes thank you Eric's Mum I've finally got through the worst of it (which was yesterday) and am starting to normalise a little bit now. There was a point where everything became very dark - particularly with the Asda incident. I'm going to get a supplement and start building myself up again. I must have easily lost 2-3 kilos. Forget Diet Chef - all you need is laryngitis!

Thank you so much to everyone on this forum. Only you and my manager at work have been kind and supportive. The rest of the world was caught up on the Christmas merry-go-round.

I must learn from this experience and keep a good stock of foods - dried and frozen, nourishing things that can be prepared with relative ease. I must always keep co codamol tablets in case I experience anything like that again. Happy New Year to all!

 

[Brissles]

Oh brissles I’m the nutty maiden aunt, complete with cat ! For the past 10 days I’ve fitted in with 2 siblings and 5 nieces and nephews as to when & where we could get together for a few hours. Most arrangements have been confirmed (or changed) mere hours before the due time.

They really do not want to upset me, it’s just for various reasons the “minutiae” of their own jobs and lives are more important.

Before retiring I was fairly senior in international banking, “commanding” respect from global clients, representing my company at international conferences, and involved in major industry changes (eg the euro, peer reviews of EU money laundering docs). BUT all this pales into insignificance when family members try to fit me in between work, office parties, collecting party frocks from the dry cleaners, watching a football match on SKY, My Christmas Day was changed twice, to accommodate my niece and then my brother’s girlfriend.

I’m off to my last family get-together at 7pm tonight. I’m not grumpy nor offended, they don’t realise I’m hurt. They just don’t see beyond their own immediate lives and enjoyment. It’s difficult for me to put into words on here, never mind trying to explain it to them.

Yep EM, I can identify with all you've said. I worked full time for 40 years in property and surveying, but it doesn't matter what 'standing' we have in our workday lives, once retirement beckons its goodbye to all that, and replaced by a cloak of invisibility! My wardrobes once housed an array of 'suits' and 'power' clothing, but 2 years into retirement I realised they were never going to see the light of day again, and a total clothing rethink came into play.

I wonder if the world realises what a wealth of experience and intelligence is being lain to waste in those who have 'retired' ! The young certainly don't know everything.

 

[Julius]

Yep EM, I can identify with all you've said. I worked full time for 40 years in property and surveying, but it doesn't matter what 'standing' we have in our workday lives, once retirement beckons its goodbye to all that, and replaced by a cloak of invisibility! My wardrobes once housed an array of 'suits' and 'power' clothing, but 2 years into retirement I realised they were never going to see the light of day again, and a total clothing rethink came into play.

I wonder if the world realises what a wealth of experience and intelligence is being lain to waste in those who have 'retired' ! The young certainly don't know everything.

You make some interesting observations, Brissles. I've often wondered what it would be like to be retired. I sometimes think it would be rather nice to go swimming, go for a drive, walk, run or do some gardening. I feel miserable sometimes due to the constant culture of office backstabbing, bitching and gossiping. Another thing is just how "dumbed down" things are becoming these days with all this political correctness and passive aggression. I wouldn't equate being retired to being wilfully unemployed. Someone who's retired has put in their years and should be free to do whatever they choose - travel, learning a new skill or whatever.

Sometimes I think I'd just like to have an allotment and grow marrows, cabbages, carrots, lettuces, tomatoes and all manner of things. I could quite easily do that all by myself and be perfectly content, making myself a cup of cocoa on a little stove in my shed. Quite how I ever got to be where I am, and why I ever thought it would give me fulfilment I do not know.

If people don't value you because you've retired this says a lot about their rather shallow values and indicates that those people and their opinions are probably worth very little. The estate agents I've dealt with have all tended to be rather sharp-suited and image-conscious and I can't say I've liked them, but some have been better than others.

I think people get very caught up with working and it must be such a huge change when giving up work. Half the time when I am at work my mind is elsewhere. Tomorrow I'm going to look at possible holiday destinations for 2019. I don't normally do beach holidays but for some reason I'd really like to try one. There's an amazing place called Camping Cala GoGo in the Costa Brava where I went when I was 11. It's set on top of a hill and has chalets overlooking the pine trees down to the Mediterranean sea. I just fancy being in one of those, waking up in the morning and having a glass of orange juice and some muesli, going swimming, walking, reading, taking the dotto train down to the beach or into town, or going on the bus to Barcelona. I'd really, really like that.

 

[China Girl]

Glad you're feeling a bit better Julius.

The mention of oxo in above posts had me remembering my nan. If you were ever ill and didn't want to eat, you were given a cup of oxo to 'build your strength back up' she swore by it for such times.

During Winter months, we were given a dessert spoonful of malt extract, which came in a big jar from the chemist, to get us through Winter.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

When you work you don’t have the time to do things and when you retire you have all the time in the world but often not the health or money to do so.

A number of acquaintances who retired expecting to have freedom now seem to be full time housekeeper/nanny to adult children who are not prepared to scrimp and save for anything. Everything I got I had to made a decision on what I would have to forego to get it, it was never a case of having everything just because you were someone’s little princess.

I actually know someone who gave up a job she needed to be at the beck and call of her children so they could buy a house twice the size of anyone else in the family, go on expensive holidays (without kids), Drive 2 top of the range cars, go on endless nights out all whilst she acts as full time au pair on a state pension.

I suppose some people, particularly woman enjoy being door mats.

 

[Vienna]

When you work you don’t have the time to do things and when you retire you have all the time in the world but often not the health or money to do so.

A number of acquaintances who retired expecting to have freedom now seem to be full time housekeeper/nanny to adult children who are not prepared to scrimp and save for anything. Everything I got I had to made a decision on what I would have to forego to get it, it was never a case of having everything just because you were someone’s little princess.

I actually know someone who gave up a job she needed to be at the beck and call of her children so they could buy a house twice the size of anyone else in the family, go on expensive holidays (without kids), Drive 2 top of the range cars, go on endless nights out all whilst she acts as full time au pair on a state pension.

I suppose some people, particularly woman enjoy being door mats.

I love my grandkids just as much as the next grandparent and I don`t mind babysitting them now and again, having them odd days if they`re too poorly for school and having them to stay for a weekend once in a while but I won`t bring them up. That`s a parents job in my opinion not a grandparents job.
I was widowed at 49 and my husband was just 56 when he died and I still had a teenage son at home and worked long and hard to keep a roof over our heads, pay my bills and then put him through Uni.
When I remarried several years later my second husband`s late wife had brought up and cared for 5 grandchildren whilst their parents worked. She actually collapsed and died on her way home from collecting 2 of them from school. He said he and his first wife were literally tied to their house because she either had one set of grandchildren or the other set and even at weekends their daughter just dumped the kids whilst she went off doing her own thing. He also said whenever they went away on holiday he and his wife always ended up with at least a couple of their grandkids going with them and his biggest regret after she collapsed and died so suddenly was the fact they had such little time together to do their own thing instead of gearing their lives around their grandchildren.
I`m now retired and my second hubby just works part time to top up pensions but much as we both love our grandchildren to bits, we know our time together is precious and because of our ages its also limited so we intend to make the best of it. Our grown up children will have their day when their children are grown up too. I may sound a tad selfish and I don`t mean to be but both myself and hubby know how life can suddenly take away your other half and kick your legs from under you.

 

[Brissles]

You're not selfish at all Vienna. My old Mum also loved her grandkids and often babysat at weekends so my brothers and their wives could have an evening out, but bring them up ? no-way. As she often said, "no-one helped me raise my kids, we struggled and made sacrifices, so now they have to bring their own up".

Grandparents would never refuse to help, so the onus is on the adult kids not to expect their parents to be the fall guys all the time. Everyone has choices, a lavish lifestyle or kids, and if they don't look through rose tinted glasses, but realise beforehand that finances are stretched then having children will only make things worse.

 

[QuiteVacuousChat]

Christmas finishes with Candlemas on February 2nd. (A full 40 days like most other liturgical seasons). Mind you, as the dreaded QVC has at least 6 months of "Christmas" already, we'd probably best let them call it a day on 26th Dec.

 

[Julius]

Glad you're feeling a bit better Julius.

The mention of oxo in above posts had me remembering my nan. If you were ever ill and didn't want to eat, you were given a cup of oxo to 'build your strength back up' she swore by it for such times.

During Winter months, we were given a dessert spoonful of malt extract, which came in a big jar from the chemist, to get us through Winter.

When I worked at Holland & Barrett years ago we used to sell jars of malt extract. I'm going to go in there tomorrow and see if they have any. I've got to build myself back up again. My throat is a little scratchy however I'm a bit better now. The one thing made sure to do when ill was to keep drinking water / lemon and ginger tea with honey, so at least I didn't become dehydrated.

 

[Anna]

When I worked at Holland & Barrett years ago we used to sell jars of malt extract. I'm going to go in there tomorrow and see if they have any. I've got to build myself back up again. My throat is a little scratchy however I'm a bit better now. The one thing made sure to do when ill was to keep drinking water / lemon and ginger tea with honey, so at least I didn't become dehydrated.

Glad you are feeling a bit better Julius. Take good care of yourself, and I hope you have a happy and healthy New Year.

 

[Julius]

Glad you are feeling a bit better Julius. Take good care of yourself, and I hope you have a happy and healthy New Year.

Thank you, Anna. You too. All the best for 2019 - which rhymes with melatogenine!