Is Jill Franks Pregnant?

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Hi all,

I have been lurking about for almost a year and felt compelled to join after reading this highly emotional and moving thread. I will share my story with you. I have always known that I want children but always thought things would happen 'naturally'. When I met my husband at the age of 22, I knew he was the one for me. We married 5 years later and started trying straight away. Meanwhile I started getting acne (this started my QVC addiction, along with my sister saying how good it is!) but put it down to the stress of being married and moving home. However, my periods started getting heavier and painful. After 2 years I went to my GP & explained we are trying to conceive and the heavy periods but did not think the 2 were related. My GP just said it may be an infection but eventually sent me for tests which confirmed my hormones were imbalanced & this explained the acne & linked in with my inability to conceive. Anyway to cut it short I was off work with depression most of last year - that is how I found this forum when I was bored. I have had 2 operations in 2010 as I was diagnosed with moderate to severe endometriosis during my 1st laparoscopy, my organs were stuck together & I had a cyst on my right ovary. The second operation went really well & the cyst along with the endometriosis was removed. I am now on injections to stop my periods for 6 months.

In all this time I felt like a failure each & every time someone asked me if I did want to have children but just did not want to explain. It is so frustrating whenever I fall ill as people assume/suspect I may be pregnant. I have had many bitter moments but I vowed to get over it, I returned to work & have managed to get a grip on my life. I am surrounded by family & friends who are pregnant & I can honestly say hand on heart that I am happy for each & every one of them. I still hope for a 'children filled future' & will remain hopeful without letting it take over my life. I do once in a while let myself feel down, but after a couple of hours I pick myself up & carry on.

Sorry for such a long post. I just wish people would stop speculating (this includes the OP, though I know it was not intentional) as sometimes the reasons are far more deep rooted & painful than the eye can see & made worse by it being discussed on a forum.

I feel better now I have 'said that'. Thank you all for compelling me to join. Your posts have helped me through a very dark phase of my life.

Ps - my heart & hugs go out to all who have been through such difficult & heart wrenching times.

Saira x
 
Oh Spooky, Alfie looks so cute. I'm usually a cat type of gal (the name kinda gives it away) but he is gorgeous! He is a lucky pooch to have you to love him. XX
 
Catkins said:
Oh Spooky, Alfie looks so cute. I'm usually a cat type of gal (the name kinda gives it away) but he is gorgeous! He is a lucky pooch to have you to love him. XX
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Hey Catkins - I think I may have your cat's twin, my wee baba is also a tuxedo cat! Her name is Bubbles and she just turned 3! :heart:
 
Catkins said:
Oh Spooky, Alfie looks so cute. I'm usually a cat type of gal (the name kinda gives it away) but he is gorgeous! He is a lucky pooch to have you to love him. XX
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Thank you!! I am a cat person too, having got three fluffballs already: Spooky, Bailey and Maisie. Alfie will be the first puppy ever but the cats are all getting on a bit now so it wouldnt have been fair to introduce another kitten to them at this stage. Alfie is a dog and male so hopefully will be an easier introduction to them, and he will liven them up I'm sure, lol.

We had the cats as substitute children always saying that we couldnt afford to start a family. But then when the day came that we thought "what the hell lets just got for it" we then found to our amazement that my body didnt want to play ball and I had the three consecutive miscarriages. Which followed by the hysterectomy op has devestated me. Now with hindsight I strongly believe that sometimes you shouldn't put things off, however sensible your reasoning. If we had just gone for it even ten years earlier when I was in my 20s, rather than when we did in my early 30s, things could have been a whole lot different. But equally I mustn't beat myself up over ifs, buts and what ifs cause it just prolongs the agony and guilt.

Now whilst I try and get my head round everything I can be a mummy to my little Alfie instead and puppy training!!!!
 
Pumpkin said:
I am surrounded by family & friends who are pregnant & I can honestly say hand on heart that I am happy for each & every one of them. I still hope for a 'children filled future' & will remain hopeful without letting it take over my life.
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Don't lose faith, it may happen. A friend of mine had countless procedures for treating endometriosis and then tried for many years to conceive - a while after she resigned herself to it not happening she got pregnant and now has two healthy littluns.

Me... I have no children (choice and circumstance) but have adopted many a scraggy old moggy (I specialise in geriatrics and misfits). I get the questions too about why no kids.... the most popular one is asking me who will look after me in my old age :headbang:.
 
Hello Pumpkin and welcome along :) I also have endometriosis and suffer in exactly the same way as you - so I understand what you're going through completely. Hope you enjoy your time with us and happy posting, I know when times are bad the folk on here are amazing at lifting your spirits up.
 
Welcome Pumpkin.We don't know why life sometimes deals out the situations we get.I am now retired and have no children, through circumstances not choice.I have never met a man I would inflict as a father on any child.There are regrets of course but I try to see the positive in my situation.Having worked most of my life I am reasonably comfortable in middle age ( 60+ going on 40!) I don't have a live in partner so I spend my days exactly as I want.I could see my situation in a negative way
( surrounded by doting Grandparents) but refuse to do that.I term myself as a S.O.P ---- Single, Own ,Pensions! Wishing you all the best with your futureSFX
 
hi pumpkin
i too have been reading this forum for a long time now but have not posted on it until i read your story and i felt i had too reply as your story brought back many memories to me. i always wanted children but my hubby had been told he would probly never become a father due to low sperm count (sorry if thats too much info lol) but i became pregnant only to miscarry at 14 weeks which was very traumatic. but i thought if its meant to be its meant to be and got on with my life. Two years later i became pregnant and was almost too scared to move but everything was fine and i had a beautiful baby girl after you have a baby everyone talks to you about contraception but i thought we dont need that it took so long to get our baby girl yes sure enough you are ahead of me within the year a lovley baby boy and i still didnt listen so result was 3 babies in 3 years iknow this sounds greedy but i hope it gives you some light at the end of the tunnel because i can remember when i was in your situation and i know personally that life can turn around in the blink of an eye. My babies are 16 15 and 14 now and absolutly drive me n their dad around the bend but we wouldnt have it any other way xx
PS to everyone else you dont know how many times you have made me laugh out loud reading all your comments i look forward to joining in now that i have made my first post xx
 
Hi Pumpkin. Welcome!
I know of a few people who have struggled to have children. My SIL had severe endometriosis and had an operation. She was advised to go on the pill but took herself off it, she got pregnant, she had another op and fell pregnant again. She now has two chidren. Apparently women are more fertile after the op. Maybe due to clearing the system. Another two friends couldn't have children but both put their names down for adoption. They both were given the option to adopt within 6 months of each other. They and their partners were over forty and are now parents.
Although not always the case I think it shows there is hope and there are options even when you may think there are none. Of course it's not the same as having your own children, but it's worth remembering that there are a lot of children out there that need love and may not be able to get it from their natural parents, I was a Barnados child and whilst I was lucky to have my parents around as much as possible (parents divorced, mum anorexic and depressed and hospitalised) I know there were children who were not as lucky as me. I try, as does my partner to show our children that sometimes adversity makes us better and more understanding parents and hope they are better parents because of it as well (when/if they become them themselves).
I also have my cat but my relationship with him is not overly affectionate, I'd say we were friends and respected each others foibles. I miss him when he's not around though I'd never tell him that!!:happy:
 
Hello pumpkin and allivee :mysmilie_357: Hope you both enjoy your time on here. There's always someone around on here to cheer you up and give you support when needed. :mysmilie_3:
 
Hi allivee (I feel too new to say thank you!)and thanks to yours & other forumites posts I feel a sense of comfort & feel so much better for getting that off my chest as I have never really spoken about it to anyone.

Thank you all for the warm welcome and your best wishes, this really means a lot to me. I'm sure I'll enjoy my time on here as much as I have enjoyed lurking about!

Saira x
 

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