I'm 45, don't have children, but did have a stillbirth years ago, so I'm used to all sorts of speculation about why children are not in my life. I would love to have kids, but it obviously isn't going to happen, not because of my 'advanced' age, but because of terminal ovarian cancer. I don't get upset about what people say to me, since I presume that most women my age have children/child, and therefore, it's bound to be a subject that crops up now and again. What does upset and offend me, however, is the fact that women with a gynae illness, including certain cancers, frequently find themselves in maternity departments waiting for scans and other tests, and to me, this is a monumentally distressing thing to go through. Just last week, due to my latest surgery taking place in a non-cancer hospital, I was waiting for hours in maternity ultrasound for one of my tests; and I was surrounded by heavily pregnant women, most of whom were chatting to each other about their pregnancies, and occasionally asking me about mine. The resulting embarrassment on both sides - theirs because they didn't know what to say - mine because I hated bringing any level of upset to them at a time when they should be looking forward to a future with a (hopefully) happy and healthy child. It's terribly insensitive to put sick women into these situations, and if they are in any way prone to depression and anguish about their situation, it really could send them over the edge. I'll be very glad to get back to the cancer wards where we keep each other going with the blackest humour imaginable, and are united in our camararderie in our shared circumstances.
