Has my lightbulb moment arrived?

[candycane]

I was rooting through the bathroom trying to find a particular lipstick and to my amazement I came across untold amounts of Liz Earle, Decleor and Judith Williams products - mostly unused. After staring somewhat guiltily at those I then went through to the bedroom and looked at a brand new slanket and KH throw still in the boxes (my Christmas to myself), then I saw quite a few things hanging in the wardrobe with the tags still on them. So after getting a bit of a horrid feeling in my stomach I went off to the PC to pull up a credit card statement. Holy Kamoli Batman!! Quite a few easy peasy pays have come out recently and what was a balance hovering around in double figures is now wildly in three.

It came to me that I may just be buying stuff unnecessarily and looking at the figures in terms of hard cash made me take one or two deep breaths. As it is coming up to Christmas - the time of spending - maybe we should do a double take at what we are buying. If we can afford it, fine, but I'm just beginning to think maybe I can't.

Anyone else overspent? I'm definitely having a few weeks of "don't watch" as I think I'm just buying for the sake of it.

CC

 

[yesilkedi]

I've just spent 10 weeks out of the UK where there wasn't QVC on tap or shopping malls to wonder round and in all that time I hardly spent any money on myself and it gave me a big reality check. I know people say 'it's my money' and 'it's up to me what I spend my money on' but this experience has made me realise what a materialistic country the UK is and a lot of what we spend our money on is wasted and not really needed, it's spending money for the sake of spending. Too many people moan they don't have enough money but if they were to sit down and work out what they are spending on they may well be surprised. I am definitely going to be more careful in future and think more about where mu money is actually going.

 

[Jackanory]

I know that feeling CC, I had my lightbulb moment maybe a year or two ago when I realised how much unused QVC stuff I had in the house, under the bed, in the wardrobe, in the bathroom, mostly skincare and body products, far more than I would use, some that I didn't particularly like. I gave some away, used up as much as I could and just binned some. I think not watching QVC is a big help, I just come here to see if there are any upcoming TSVs I might be interested in. I am much much more sensible about what I buy now. Apart from two Tarte TSVs I have not bought any QVC beauty products for ages, I am spending much less now, thankfully.

It is very scary CC when you realise how much you are spending on QVC products, and horrifying when you realise you are not even using a whole lot of what you have bought.

 

[Akimbo]

I'm raising my hand -
"My name is Akimbo, and I'm a shopping bulimic!" "It's been 24 hours since I last bought something online!" :mysmilie_465:

I'm a serial returner! :mysmilie_477: Every so often I have a reality check and return stuff that's still within it's 30 days, or take stuff back to shops. The rest gets listed on ebay or shipped out to local charity shops with a mental slap around my chops for being so stupid :mysmilie_465:...but once in a while I'll buy something really good (I loved the Josie Maran TSV and OTO I bought this year and the 2 Tarte TSVs. Oh and the Marla Wynne TSV dress is also a good buy). (Hmmm I sound like a gambler who has an occasional win :blush:

I do recognise that sinking "what was I thinking?" feeling but don't be too hard on yourself, you're in the circle of safety here with fellow sufferers!:mysmilie_50:

 

[Leighton Orient]

It's not that I have way too many bottles of nail varnish, it's that I don't have enough hands. I did once use up a BE blusher pot to the end, just the 15 to go now....and if I swirled, tapped and buffed myself from head to toe every day I reckon I might use up my foundation stash. Eventually. Assuming I didn't buy any more, apart from the serum one on autodelivery. But they are so *pretty* in their different pots and anniversary lids. And I am *such* a mug!

 

[Miss Grumpy]

You are among friends, Candycane. I felt physically sick a couple of years ago when I found folders full of receipts and realised I had wasted THOUSANDS of pounds, which I could have saved towards my retirement. We are all cheering you on in your new sense of reality and determination not to be brainwashed by QVC.

On the theme of Christmas, I have just returned from India where there Christmas equivalent, Diwali, was being celebrated. What was lovely was that although there were some expensive gifts to special people, the majority of adverts for, and purchases of, Diwali gifts were boxes of fruits, sweets and nuts. It reminded me of what Christmas used to be like many decades ago.

 

[boffy]

thats the thing with the beauty products the nicer stuff usually lasts an age so you have to keep checking your not buying stuff that you already have loads of. atm i am buying xmas decs stuff. and some of it is really ropey and poor quality. but i do return stuff.......usually

 

[Vienna]

I had my lightbulb moment when I remarried and moved house. The amount of stuff I owned was ridiculous and I had too much of everything. Thankfully nowadays I don`t stockpile stuff like I used to do and resist temptation far easier.

 

[stratobuddy]

If your lightbulb moment was an LED lightbulb moment, then the "moment" should actually last for many years

 

[donna255]

I have enough skincare, bath and body and makeup to keep a small south American country going for a month or more.

I rarely buy from QVC, the last thing was a Tarte palette Escape II. I have bought from ebay, SpaceNK and TKMaxx(going nuts with the L'Artisan Parfumeur range they have as really great prices), but was I buying because it was cheap or I really wanted???? I even stopped and considered Mimosa Moi, which I tried long ago and did not like!!! I really want the Noir Tarte Palette which I think will be on Saturday. I am an addict and put my hand up.

 

[Akimbo]

On a more serious note than my previous post, I had a bit of a health scare recently (more biopsies next week) and in the middle of the night when I was morbidly running through worst case scenarios I asked myself "what if I only have 3 months..?" Once I'd run through the obvious - missing my kids' weddings, them having kids etc I also looked around at my "cr@p" and felt embarrassed at the thought of them sifting through it all and disposing of it!

Sorry to sound flippant on a serious subject but there's no rhyme or reason to those 3am inner conversations!

Two days later I've ordered the Laura Geller TSV and I realise I'm a hopeless case! :mysmilie_1:

 

[iloveshopping]

I've stopped watching QVC completely. I may watch the occasional video online. I thin my greatest temptation is the beauty products. I find it easy to convince myself that the latest foundation is the holy grail and will turn me into a beautiful, sophisticated, younger woman. Of course this is tosh ad there are rarely breakthrough products that make much change. Anyway I hardly wear any foundation (despite my hoard) because I actually like my natural colouring and do not really like covering it up. I'm probably not very good at applying the slap. That said Alison Young who has loads of experience still manages to mess up.

 

[Mia56]

I too have been a huge sucker on Q. My new beauty therapist gave me a wake up call and said just cleanse tone and moisturiser, So I've avoided TSVs for two months, put nearly £200 in the bank! Which is what I would have spent. Listed me lotions and potions on eBay, made £168 to date. Although I'm finding it really hard to avoid the beauty.

Today I bought a Decleor set direct but did need one of the items and have a sisters birthday coming up so it was very good value.

I'm an addict ! Just trying to get better.

 

[lilith]

first of all, hugs to Akimbo
and fingers and toes crossed x

i think you have all touched on it
basically, shopping is addictive as something like gambling
that's were the 'shame' element comes into it
and also, as a species, we have these primal instincts from our hunter and gatherer days
there wasn't always a time of plenty
there was feast and famine, and you had to 'stock up' when there was the chance

now, of course, we can 'feast' (be that shopping, eating, gambling, 'treating ourselves' 24/7 every single day of the year)
but we still have those primal instincts
and of course we get played like a fiddle in our consumer society
were there tell us 'you're worth it' or you 'deserve to pamper' yourself
and all the other ideas the marketing pschychologists keep putting in our heads
and keep repeating
and the life style they are trying to sell us, keeping up with the Jones etc
and on QVC you get the extra with the pressure selling, ltd stock, today only TSV bargain
all done by peeps who seem familiar to you cos they are in your living room often
and that tricks your brain and emotions into thinking they are 'trustworthy'

so put all that together, of course people over do it with the spending

don't beat yourself up, see that you are being manipulated
stop listening to them snd allowing them willy nilly into your living room
and leave the shame behind you

tomorrow is another day
decide what you need and what you can afford to 'want'
and then set yourself some boundaries
and decide for yourself, what level of 'stock' actually makes you happy
vs what actually becomes a millstone round your neck
and then feel good about yourself for having taken charge
for sticking to your boundaries and give yourself time to think things through before you purchase
anyhow, that's how i am trying to work it
i have a running list of things i need and then one of what i wd like
and i work out how much i am prepared to spend on it i.e. what consists of a proper bargain
and then i am patient to wait for the right offer
and i also have a budget
and i have done okay with this method
well 90% of the time .....

i hope you'll find your own system
but whichever way,
don't beat yourself up (you'll only re enforce the negative cycle where you shop to make yourself feel better...)

all the best for starting a new chapter & wishing you the best of news on the health front x

 

[stratobuddy]

Slightly as an aside, a VERY large charity shop opened nearby about a year ago (a donation and distribution centre for the whole chain).

I was buying loads of "stuff", some I needed, some I couldn't resist because of the price, whether I needed it or not.

Then I saw the light, and hardly ever go int there any more, even though I pass it most days.

There is a parallel between not going in there and not watching Q any more either, I just check the gadgety things on-line

 

[SuziQ]

Luckily for me, my lightbulb moment occurred fairly quickly into my QVC 'relationship', helped along by attending a QVC beauty even- as the guest if a friend who was spending literally thousands on beauty and skin care. We came away with huge goody bags that I added up to be worth over £200 at QVC pieces.. I asked myself- how much profit were qvc and the other companies making to be able to afford to do that?!

I do still buy but every purchase is much more considered now and tends to be repurchase of something I like at a great price ( like alpha h liquid gold.) I do like the bethleham lights Christmas lights I bought recently and also bough the hideous looking but oh-so-cosy/little old lady co zee home cape thing and throw which was a TSV a few days ago. I reckon that will save me on having the heating on at the opposite ends of the day when everyone else is asleep!

Akimbo I am sending you prayers and positive vibes. I was declared 'cured' of colon cancer last year after 5 years, but unfortunately was diagnosed with cervical cancer in May this year,and the rest of the summer has been pretty dire really. I pray the results will all come back in Your favour!

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Having very sensitive skin I don't buy very much beauty but what little new stuff I do buy as a tryout is usually a waste of money as it doesn't agree with me ( eg that recent Alpha H offer of 3 of the same product really caused me problem) but I do buy a lot of jewellery and clothes and handbags.

However having just had a real good clear out (not much went out unfortunately more of a tidy up) I know I don't need anything, in fact I don't even want anything, a lot of it is just a habit.

I've always liked jewellery and when Q did the lovely gems and solid silver items at reasonable prices I used to buy and buy and buy. This unfortunately got me into the bad habit of wanting every bit of bling I saw!

Up until about 10 years ago I was badly overweight and if I found an item of clothing which fitted I bought it in every colour available as I never knew when I would ever find another thing to fit. Although I can now go into most shops and have a good choice I still have that mentality of buying everything which fits.

The handbag thing is because of the hunt for the perfect handbag which in all honesty doesn't exist.

I am lucky in that at present I can afford to indulge but soon I will retire and it will be a whole different story and anyway it's just all wrong to waste all that money.

I firmly believe that a lot of the expense of Christmas could be avoided if we had the nerve to suggest to family and friends that we would cut back/token only and stop buying all that food. I'll bet most people would breath a sign of relief, they just don't want to be the one to break the mould.

 

[Mia56]

I'm loving this thread. Ladies keep it coming I'm so happy I'm not the only person who has a struggle.

 

[shopperholic]

I closed my QVC account about two years ago after twenty years for a whole bunch of reasons, bad delivery, expensive postage, slow delivery/returns and so on, but the main reasons were they were flogging off second hand goods as new but to top it all! these second hand goods they were passing off as new were dearer than anywhere else! So I closed it and never looked back, my skin is still the same, my clothes are just as nice and I buy what I need for the kitchen from IW a lot cheaper than QVC, so all in all I closed my account and I've never regretted it, I'm also helping the environment because my bank statement only consists of one sheet of paper now instead of four.

 

[cheetycat]

Having been through a pretty tough time of late I think I've fallen into a bad habit of buying things just to cheer myself up. It's all mostly "wee" things but even then it still does fairly mount up. Having noticed how bad I've become I too decided that I had to start making an attempt to use things up before I buy anything else but it's not easy. Last week I was browsing around in Debenhams at the perfume counter. As I find it really hard sometimes to make a decision I couldn't choose between three perfumes that I liked - so I bought all three!! Then later on after getting home, opening them, and spraying them again I decided I didn't really like two of them as much as I thought after all. Fortunately I'll be able give one of them to my daughter as a birthday present so all is not lost. Must do better next time!!!