Has my lightbulb moment arrived?

[Vienna]

Shopping is too easy these days. It`s just typing in a few numbers on a website and hey presto you`ve bought something. If we had to take the actual money out of our bank account or our purse and lay it down in front of us, we`d possibly think twice or even thrice.
To look at 4 x £20 notes and know it will disappear on a few jars of face cream or 20 x £20 notes and know it will disappear on a handbag makes it real. My bank only sends me a bank statement every 3 months and in my shopping hey day, I often felt aghast when I finally got my statement and checked my debits. Whilst buying stuff it was just numbers, when the bank statement arrived those numbers became a reality but thankfully I never got into debt or overdrawn.
It`s easy done and we`re all great at justifying things when it suits us.

 

[boffy]

Luckily for me, my lightbulb moment occurred fairly quickly into my QVC 'relationship', helped along by attending a QVC beauty even- as the guest if a friend who was spending literally thousands on beauty and skin care. We came away with huge goody bags that I added up to be worth over £200 at QVC pieces.. I asked myself- how much profit were qvc and the other companies making to be able to afford to do that?!

I do still buy but every purchase is much more considered now and tends to be repurchase of something I like at a great price ( like alpha h liquid gold.) I do like the bethleham lights Christmas lights I bought recently and also bough the hideous looking but oh-so-cosy/little old lady co zee home cape thing and throw which was a TSV a few days ago. I reckon that will save me on having the heating on at the opposite ends of the day when everyone else is asleep!

Akimbo I am sending you prayers and positive vibes. I was declared 'cured' of colon cancer last year after 5 years, but unfortunately was diagnosed with cervical cancer in May this year,and the rest of the summer has been pretty dire really. I pray the results will all come back in Your favour!

ahh suzi q and akimbo thinking of you. this cancer stuff is gruelling and cruel

 

[PrussianRed]

I can relate so much to 'buying' to compensate for something 'missing' or to cheer myself up.

Years ago I moved away from a job I had loved, but which had turned into a nightmare due to my obsessive, nasty boss. I left the job, the town, and a good, if not manic, social life and friends. I had a house and OK job but felt 'bereft' and bent my credit card to try to compensate for the unhappiness. This was before QVC aired in the UK but I understand that feeling.

Now, older and wiser and reasonably content I don't feel the need to splash out in the same way - anything pricey is usually for the house! Different things are important - good health being the main one :flower:

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

As Vienna said it is just far too easy to buy, if it's not Q it's just somewhere else.

I know with me a lot of it is the "hit" of choosing and buying but when I get it home/it arrives in the post mostly I've lost interest in it. I know in my heart it is to compensate for parts of my life which aren't so good.

I also know that good health is more important than anything so for all of our lovely members who are going through bad times we all send you positive vibes in the hope that 2016 brings good news for you all.

 

[lilith]

*oooh, must have something in my eye*
can i just say, ladies and gents,
i find your candour and honesty and wisdom and warmth very moving
lots of love to you all xxx
and an extra hug for SuziQ

 

[miss molly]

Black Friday is not helping :mysmilie_10: Hugs to Akimbo and SuziQ wishing you both the best x

 

[louise66]

My situation - I don't see it as a problem - is that I hate spending money, with a passion. So I have to really want something, I don't buy on a whim. I currently have three items to return: the tan luxe (disappointed/unsuitable), the recent elemis tsv, in both options, as the body products, especially the sweet orchid, irritate my skin. Skincare is not, for me, a treat. I need it, and it is okay for my sensitive skin.
QVC is not, in my case, a problem. I quite fancied the molton brown oto, last night. Not enough to spend my hard earned, though.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I've never been great at not spending. Even as a teenager I was given a monthly "allowance" and I used to spend it all in the first week and was broke for the rest of the month. In my defence I used to buy all sorts of treats for other people.

When I married Mr L he was 10 times worse so there was no one to reign me in. I have never known anyone who never thinks that someone is taking the **ss out of him money wise. He is the first to put his hand in his pocket and always says that if he has it he will give it away/spend it. He would give someone his last penny (and go into debt to do so). Annoying as it is sometimes, I don't think I could live with a penny pincher. Cautious is one thing plain mean is another.

 

[candycane]

Everyone's post has really cheered me up. Akimbo and Suzie Q I wish you all the very best with your health.

I am guilty of buying because I'm fed up, bored, hate work, or even plain drunk. I get things and chuck them in the cupboard to hide them from OH. I could warm the entire homeless population of the UK with the blankets and slankets I have. Time to stop. I have cancelled my card on QCut so I can't just pick the phone up sneakily and every time I think I want to buy something I will turn off the TV and go back later, by which time I should have gone off the idea. I too wish to move sometime in the near future and the thought of moving all that stuff is making me ashamed of buying it in the first place.

Just keep thinking of what we could spend that money on - paying off debts instead of making more, saving for a new car, a holiday etc etc.

CC

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

You see I can talk myself in to anything. I've been on holidays which haven't been the dream I had hoped for and even if I enjoyed them it is a lot of money for 1 week when a day back at work makes you feel as if you are back on the hamster wheel once again whereas a nice piece of jewellery or bag gives pleasure every time you wear it.

Excuse me while I order that bit on bling I've had my eye on LOL

 

[Vienna]

We pass this way only once and none of us will ever be remembered as the woman who owned 50 handbags or 12 tubs of cleansers or 10 pairs of Emus or 20 Yankee candles etc etc etc. We put a lot of effort into earning our money, little effort into spending it and yet nothing we buy will define us as a person/wife/partner/Mother/friend/sister.
The things which will define us are free of charge but I daresay there are people more worried about missing out on a tsv than missing out on more important things in life.
I regularly see the feeding frenzy on Q`s facebook page with the " got mine, got mine, its mine all mine, soooo happy, sooo excited, can`t wait " and so on and so on and the constant asking of when`s this tsv or when`s that tsv.
As a nation of materialistic people we`re sunk, truly sunk and the likes of QVC know this and prey on it.

 

[maymorganlondon]

I'm fessing up as well. Mine's not just QVC, so I can't even blame watching selly telly!

I've been in the market for new bras in just about every shade of the rainbow... Back in the day the, ahem, fuller busted woman had to make do with the sterling but unlovely Doreen by Triumph (still a strong seller). Nowadays you can get all sorts of gorgeousness, but they are inevitably not at the cheaper end of the price scale (even when you get them at reduced prices). Also my favourite trousers are back in stock at Sainsburys so I've ordered a few pairs.

Q-wise, I've just taken delivery of some Nina Leonard dresses, and the Laura Geller TSV (one for a gift). I'm due the last of the seasonal Leighton Denny on or around 13 December.

I am not being tempted by Q beauty at present, as I just have to admire my groaning boxes of beauty products whenever I feel a weak moment. The only beauty I'm succumbing to is men's products... and some of that has been bought on behalf of others.

I still need to give myself a financial overhaul and a memo to self to keep up the good work on not buying beauty TSVs for the forseeable future....!

I recognise the shopping can be to fill gaps in your life - the feelgood gratification is transient though. It is a bit like running from yourself... you still end up where you started.

We all go through purple patches where life is wonderful, but also the deepest darkest patches, and it's one of the ways we appreciate the good times that we go through the bad times. If a bit of shopping provides a little relief, I'll try not to judge myself too harshly. I know I'll have a bit of a financial diet now (I've already bought the cards and stamps for the Christmas cards) and only be spending on posting a few packages to the other end of the country between now and January.

Can I just send out the love and positive thoughts to those who are having a rough time of it at present? It's never a good time to be facing health worries, but it always seems particularly poignant at this time of year. So big hugs to you all, but particularly SuziQ, Akimbo and Cheetycat, as mentioned during this thread.

 

[Boris Bear]

My situation - I don't see it as a problem - is that I hate spending money, with a passion. So I have to really want something, I don't buy on a whim. I currently have three items to return: the tan luxe (disappointed/unsuitable), the recent elemis tsv, in both options, as the body products, especially the sweet orchid, irritate my skin. Skincare is not, for me, a treat. I need it, and it is okay for my sensitive skin.
QVC is not, in my case, a problem. I quite fancied the molton brown oto, last night. Not enough to spend my hard earned, though.

I'm a bit like that. I rarely buy on a whim although I've bought a few bottles of Jo Malone perfume this year but that's been when I've been near a shop which is rare and planned not impulsive. I've bought virtually nothing from QVC this year. I just want to get value for what I'm spending and I wouldn't go into a shop and spend £50 on shower gel so I don't do it on QVC. I was in the supermarket the other day and they had tiny bags of caramelised macadamias for £3 but it was such a small bag I couldn't bring myself to buy one. Sometimes I wish I would just think "sod it" and splash out. I don't think I'm really tight as I'm happy to spend on my godson and give to charities but it's spending on me that I have a problem with.

 

[Tinkerbelle]

I've been through quite a nasty illness, but am much better now. For the first two/three weeks I couldn't watch TV at all. In fact I could barely lift my head off the pillow. The following week or two I was able to watch TV but really not able to do much else. My QVC spending could have gone through the roof as I watched so much more than I would normally. It did go up a bit but my high street spending was zip so it all balanced itself out.

I'm a sensible shopper in many respects. I never spend more than I can easily afford and shopping doesn't take priority over saving for the future. I buy what I need and to some degree what I want. Boring but essential really.

 

[suzywoozy]

I had my lightbulb moment back when we were F*A*R*T*I*N*G (Forumites against reckless tsv-ing - I think was the acronym).
At the time my bathroom resembled a decleor, gatineau and elemis shop.
Since then I keep an eye on the TSVs, check on here to see what people think, and then make an informed decision not to buy from QVC! I don't buy what I don't need and if I think i could be tempted, I make a point of avoiding QVC altogether that day. The recent Laura Geller TSV is a good example. I wanted it, but I didn't need it. So I missed it.
Thanks all for keeping me in check.

 

[snip]

I was well and truly sucked into qvc, twelve years ago I think. I had my lightbulb moment and sold loads on ebay but what an awful waste of money. I did get some very useful things from qvc and it was all about the qvc family at that time. I didn`t buy again from qvc for about 11 years. I have since bought a couple of things for the house and I recently found a qvc clothing range that I love and which actually fits me well. I have started re-inventing my natural look to a bit more dressy and cared for, so it is one thing in and two things out of my wardrobe and I will carry on until I feel that I can dress nicely and easily every day for whatever occasion. I have spent a lot lately but only after trawling the shops and never finding lovely clothes that fit me. I get about 3 qvc items for the cost of one `designer` item in a smart shop, so far I am pleased with myself but am well aware of the addiction factor. I am avoiding all toiletries, kitchen stuff etc

I am just editing after reading your posts: I just realised that I turned back to qvc after a very close bereavement. Yes psychology is involved with me too. I wont be suckered in I hope, I learnt a lesson recently when I returned boots that I didn`t need and which didn`t fit me. So no peripheries either, no boots, candles, bags and so on but I must have the clothes that I ordered, I really do like them and they are colourful, cheery, fit and are just what I want and tbh need as I go onto the next and potentially lonely, stage of my life

 

[Laura L'occitane Earle]

What a great thread. Woke up this morning on Black Friday with a lovely feeling of "I really done want or need anything" and felt quite sorry for people who are potentially fighting it out in shops or glued to their screens.

Sending my best wishes and prayers to Akimbo and all the other forumites who are going through tough times. I must admit, I started watching QVC when the Iraq bombing campaign was going on. I was pregnant at the time and the news just made me feel so upset and anxious. Funny how the world has got much worse, not better and here we are on the brink of another potentially disasterous decision. Our politicians really don't learn, but at least we are all getting wiser with our spending (hopefully!)

 

[iloveshopping]

Snip. No need to be lonely. There are now lots of organisations that organise things. Google 'Meetup'. Then enter your town or postcode and generally you should find social groups, walking groups in your area. There may now be other organisations too online.

 

[Silver Fox]

This thread should have the award of 'Thread of the Year'! I have a confession to make I have just bought a bag from the Kipling website 50% off & free P&P but it is going to be bought for me so that doesn't count.The lightbulb moment for me came when I actually got more pleasure from not spending than spending!I order very little these days from Q as I am much more discerning & at one time I was returning so much I expected 'the letter'.

 

[countrymaid]

Your comment Leighton Orient, about not having too many bottles of nail polish, just not enough hands is similar to a situation I have. I'm not overweight, just under height!