Does My Bum Look Big In This?

[Pinkpussycat]

min - well i had till these two moved in!

yes it was a horrible time and made me quite ill. it was a senior colleague so was very public and embarrassing and i had zero support from my employer. i ended up having a year off sick. it went all through the courts and was all over the newspapers. i was strongly advised to sue both the employer and the stalker but after all the court appearances and also the hearing done by the professional body we belonged to, i was just about done in. couldn't face any more court appearances. regret it now of course because i could have got a lot of money out of them

That's ****** awful Janie and I can understand how you felt at the time and how you couldn't face any more legalities. I don't know how long ago you had all this upset with your colleague and employers but do you know that you have 3 years in which to sue them for personal injury?? This doesn't just mean physical attacks but also applies to ill health which has been caused by stress relating to and because of their actions or negligence in handling of the matter. I'm sure you could get legal aid as well if you have a valid claim so if I was you I'd seek advice from the CAB to start with. I was stalked many years ago by an ex boyfriend who tricked me into his car one night to 'apologise and clear the air' but then drove at speed round and round the flyover at Shepherds Bush threatening to drive into a pillar and kill us both so I know just how scary these possessive nutnuts can be. Thankfully I calmed him down and then later Bruv sorted him out. :mysmilie_61:

 

[Frazzled]

Oh dear, Himself sounds a bit like my BIL - only not quite as bad!.

My sister is 76 next month but you wouldn't know it and desperately wants to be out there enjoying herself still. BIL is renowned for being unsociable and difficult and is now ailiing physically. She would do things on her own but the main problem is the remoteness of where they live and the expense of getting anywhere - a six mile drive just to get out of the valley! My mother is good helping her with running the car but it's very difficult.

When I've retired this year, hopefully I'll get to see her more often. We always have a good time when she can escape! "Myself" is not particularly adventurous and quite happy pottering around - I like a bit "socialising" from time to time though, and I'm really good at not acting my age!

I use to be a bit of a hoarder but I got the bug for de-cluttering - starting with hubby lol! I find "stuff" annoying now and intend to really clear out once I've retired and can reclaim what is currently my workspace.

Are there any clubs of sorts near you Mim? I like playing cards and quite fancy learning how to play bridge maybe.

 

[janie]

ppp - thanks but it was over 10 years ago. i did quickly look into it but in those days i wasn't online and the no pay no fee things aren't like they are now, they wanted money uprfont which i didn't have. it didn't take much to dissuade me as i couldn't face court again anyway. your bit about the car reminded me when i had this person behind me once while driving and to try and get away i drove 90mph in a 50mph limit. i was on my way to work. when i got there, i rang the police and told them what i'd done. they couldn't have been nicer and asked if i wanted an escort home. i know the cops come in for a lot of stick but they were brilliant throughout. when i was too scared to go to bed they used to say 'don't you worry, we'll be driving up and down here all night'.

 

[Frazzled]

That's ****** awful Janie and I can understand how you felt at the time and how you couldn't face any more legalities. I don't know how long ago you had all this upset with your colleague and employers but do you know that you have 3 years in which to sue them for personal injury?? This doesn't just mean physical attacks but also applies to ill health which has been caused by stress relating to and because of their actions or negligence in handling of the matter. I'm sure you could get legal aid as well if you have a valid claim so if I was you I'd seek advice from the CAB to start with. I was stalked many years ago by an ex boyfriend who tricked me into his car one night to 'apologise and clear the air' but then drove at speed round and round the flyover at Shepherds Bush threatening to drive into a pillar and kill us both so I know just how scary these possessive nutnuts can be. Thankfully I calmed him down and then later Bruv sorted him out. :mysmilie_61:

That's a pretty horrific story as well Sue! - is he scared of spiders by any chance??

 

[Flying Pigs]

My sister who lives in Hamburg joined an evening class to re-learn bridge and now plays with some ladies regularly ( in German) and loves it. Our Dad was a serious bridge player and when we were lasses we played all sorts of card games , including bridge, regularly.

 

[Frazzled]

ppp - thanks but it was over 10 years ago. i did quickly look into it but in those days i wasn't online and the no pay no fee things aren't like they are now, they wanted money uprfont which i didn't have. it didn't take much to dissuade me as i couldn't face court again anyway. your bit about the car reminded me when i had this person behind me once while driving and to try and get away i drove 90mph in a 50mph limit. i was on my way to work. when i got there, i rang the police and told them what i'd done. they couldn't have been nicer and asked if i wanted an escort home. i know the cops come in for a lot of stick but they were brilliant throughout. when i was too scared to go to bed they used to say 'don't you worry, we'll be driving up and down here all night'.

Dreadful experience Janie, you've done well to cope the way you have.

 

[minim]

I used to play Stud Poker for pennies in the lunchtime when I was working. I was good at it too! Never played Bridge though. That's a thought.

I did look at the nearest book club but I can't remember why I didn't peruse it now.

Sadly, my nearest Night School only runs classes twice a week and is severely limited in what it offers - cakie thingies or languages basically. I have a blank spot for languages. Himself speaks several, 27 has a double degree in Spanish & Italian & 21 did 'A' level French & Spanish & was going to do that in Uni until she changed her mind to do American Studies. They didn't get the talent from me. I'm more Stanley Unwin lol

 

[Disenchanted]

You sound bored and dangerous, min!

You are obviously a dab hand with camera and computer - how about eBaying some of Himself's stuff? Potentially hours of fun trying to do it surreptitiously! There is that old saying about one man's trash being another man's treasure - just as long as it doesn't end up being sent to an address in east London!!

 

[Weathergirl]

Not night school Min- university. You may already have a degree in which case look at a masters, or you may not. My uni had an " access course" which allowed entry to those who may not have had the conventional A levels and the like. I don't know whether those are still available, but I bet they are.

 

[minim]

You sound bored and dangerous, min!

You are obviously a dab hand with camera and computer - how about eBaying some of Himself's stuff? Potentially hours of fun trying to do it surreptitiously! There is that old saying about one man's trash being another man's treasure - just as long as it doesn't end up being sent to an address in east London!!

Good job I'm not armed and dangerous.
I'm not that brilliant with the computer. Himself will show me how to do something & I write it down lol
Meg & Himself have one thing in common - they are extremely nosey. Sometimes if I'm on the move they both follow me around. I'd never get away with getting rid of his stuff.

Not night school Min- university. You may already have a degree in which case look at a masters, or you may not. My uni had an " access course" which allowed entry to those who may not have had the conventional A levels and the like. I don't know whether those are still available, but I bet they are.

I've got a degree. Don't think I'd have the commitment for a Masters.

There are a few rooms that need freshening up so that will be my project soon. Himself is colour blind so he won't care what I do as long as it's not too arty-farty.
Now I'm off to adapt a purse to my requirements. I just can't find one to suit me.

 

[Weathergirl]

Good job I'm not armed and dangerous.
I'm not that brilliant with the computer. Himself will show me how to do something & I write it down lol
Meg & Himself have one thing in common - they are extremely nosey. Sometimes if I'm on the move they both follow me around. I'd never get away with getting rid of his stuff.



I've got a degree. Don't think I'd have the commitment for a Masters.

There are a few rooms that need freshening up so that will be my project soon. Himself is colour blind so he won't care what I do as long as it's not too arty-farty.
Now I'm off to adapt a purse to my requirements. I just can't find one to suit me.

I wouldn't have the commitment either. Only certain things grip me for me to stick at it. Unfortunately you have to cover some very dull stuff too.

Good for 27. I wish I had had the confidence to see the world (other than a 2 week holiday) when I was in my 20's. I was too much of a homing pigeon then.

Good luck in your quest though

 

[minim]

 

[Weathergirl]

My cat Alfie loves bleach too. Drives him nuts. Catnip has no effect whatsoever.

 

[SparklyBarbs]

Minim was catching up on late Friday night and thought about your post. You should think
about writing a book, you seem to have the qualities. But what i get from your posts is
you enjoyed the travelling and i think you should go to meet your daughter, was it in
America, cant remember, but i got the vibes you enjoyed that and want to do more of it,
even without himself. So why not try that, or even you and him go on a mini tour of
places you want to see. The girls might class that place as home, but if you want to
move i would do that, they'd soon adapt, and lets face it they;re probably going to get
married so what are the chances they;ll be living there for long anyway. Hope that
doesn;t seem harsh, but you;ve only one go in this life and you sound as if you want to
change your life a bit, so why not just go for it. This is the year

 

[minim]

My cat Alfie loves bleach too. Drives him nuts. Catnip has no effect whatsoever.

Meg has no time for catnip either, but bleach is something else. She drags herself across the floor, rubs her back and face on every surface, dribbles and usually pulls the towels down.
I really do announce,"Bleach!" in the hope they keep the doors shut otherwise I'm changing towels & vacuuming .... again.

 

[minim]

Who knows Barbs.

We went to America last year with 21 to settle her in university and went to India to see 27 last month (she's travelling to Thailand at this very moment ..... never been there either lol).
They were two bumper expensive holidays BUT I couldn't get him to go on holiday for 5 years before that trip to the US ... AND in both cases it was to see my girls safe & sound so that's special ... and necessary ... and urgent .... and any other justification I may need to give lol.

As for writing a book ..... Good grief!

 

[Diamond Diva]

Over the years I've had two of my cats that absolutely loved bleach, when bleaching the loo I had to make sure the seat was down or the door was closed otherwise I'm sure they'd have been in it! If I'd used in when cleaning they'd smell it and would try washing my hands, most odd !

 

[janie]

i had no idea some cats like bleach but i did read that as a cleaner, it doesn't hurt them, whereas some cleaners do. i'm a bleach fan anyway but because of that i usually use bleach based cleaners.

 

[SparklyBarbs]

Maybe it was a bit harsh to suggest moving, why don't you organise days out like you'd enjoyed before, just
make him go, or maybe a camper van. I'm really thinking about my life and the choices i have to make as i'm
turning the big 60 soon and its very depressing, with all my circumstances. Rented house, heavy job, small
pension, but i suppose i'm lucky to have a job. And i don't want to depress you all with my problems, we all
have to make choices and i've made some i now regret, so what i mean is make the most of it, as we all only
get one go at it. And seriously you should consider a book, about Meg's escapades, you're witty and have a
certain style. You should research it, what have you to lose

 

[janie]

min - you know all you have to do to make us all buy it, is fill it with pics of meg's escapades. who's to say the great british public are any different?