Does My Bum Look Big In This?

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Is it true Minim that as the agent for Meg and Mr. Fish you have been approached with a view to Meg playing Miss Moneypenny and Mr. Fish the baddy in the next Bond film? I gather Meg being cool with uranium and Mr.Fish's FBI connections are a positive plus.
 
Baseless rumour.

Meg has one priority - food

... Meg has two priorities - food & sleep

... Meg has three priorities - food, sleep & someone reliable who can open doors

... Um, Meg has four priorities - food, sleep, someone reliable who can open doors & getting between 21 & me
 
Baseless rumour.

Meg has one priority - food

... Meg has two priorities - food & sleep

... Meg has three priorities - food, sleep & someone reliable who can open doors

... Um, Meg has four priorities - food, sleep, someone reliable who can open doors & getting between 21 & me

Things might change when you're flouncing your way round India.

..... 21 and Meg will get very close
..... 21 could be become new agent
......You could be ignored and huffed when you get home
......Brings presents. Loads of fluffy toys and treats (bribery might work)
 
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Is there anyone out there that can open pesky packets?


needs.jpg
 
Isn't it weird. My Hopey doesn't like treats at all. She loves dry food, and she eats butter
of my fingers, and bits of my food. Doesn't bother with OH when he's eating, as she knows
im the soft touch, so she sits and looks and i give her bits and bobs of my food. Very bad
habit i started i know. But if you put anything extra in dish its ignored. Weird cat. Probably
takes after its owner LOL
 
louis loves treats especially felix goody bags and those webbox stick things. i feel so bad i'm not allowed to give him good boy treats any more :sad:
 
The Bond Saga - Licence to Kill

M was sitting at the table reading an email sent by 27 from Russia with love. Pussy Galore sauntered into the kitchen and miaowed loudly and leapt onto her lap. "Pussy" shrieked M "You frightened the living daylights out of me, get off!, this is for my eyes only"

Disgruntled, Pussy yowled "I won't live to die another day if you don't feed me NOW!" "I want sardine in jelly, no olive and shaken not stirred!"

M got up and walked towards the cupboard " I shouldn't give in Pussy, the doctor said no if you want people to stop calling you Fattybum?".


The phone rang, it was 007, calling on behalf of Her Majesty's Secret Service.


"Ah Mr Bond" said M in a prickly tone "the spy who loved me once"

007 replied. "the world is not enough to stop me from loving you Mammypenny but unfortunately I have to keep saving it, and our love can never be."

"The reason I rang is to warn Pussy Galore that the CIA have intercepted an email to SPECTRE from Octopussy (aka Mr Fish)." " He is believed to currently be in Finland and is warning that you will only live once on his return, little does he know that you will in fact live nine times"

"He's swimming against the tide in real life and this is probably just an attempt to keep his masters happy and off his tail." 007 added "To be on the safe side though Q is on the way to show you the latest gadgets available just in case Octopussy puts in a appearance" "That's it?"

"Thanks James" said M, her voice trembling "Do you expect me to talk Mr Bond?" "No" he responded, "I expect you to cry"

M hung up the phone, reflecting on her past love. "Pussy don't be a scaredy cat, but Octopussy may be swimming upstream as we speak and HMSS are sending Q to advise you.


Ding-dong! - M opened the door. A team from Q were standing there.


"Good grief, that was quick!" said M " I wasn't expecting you for at least 3-5 days?"


Q got down to business.

"Right, the Triple-DECT phones can be placed around the house and will record any movements or conversation."

http://www.qvcuk.com/IDECT-Solo-Plus-Triple-DECT-Phones-with-Answer-Machine.product.502470.html?sc=502470-DRIL&cm_sp=VIEWPOSITION-_-23-_-502470

"Next the camera, Pussy says she has forgiven him and just wants his photo for a forum she writes on, it will fire a net to entrap Octopussy when she clicks the button".

http://www.qvcuk.com/Sony-DSC-WX50-16MP-Compact-Camera-with-5x-Opt-Zoom-Full-HD-Vid.product.502083.html?sc=502083-DRIL&cm_sp=VIEWPOSITION-_-9-_-502083

"Finally, the Lipstick-USB is probably the best option, Pussy pretends to be putting on her lipstick and asks Octo if he would like to see the colour. As she points it towards him and presses it will release a taser delivering 50.000 volts." "Octopussy will be well and truly fried."

http://www.qvcuk.com/Hipstreet-8GB-Lipstick-USB-Flash-Drive.product.501570.html?sc=501570-DRIL&cm_sp=VIEWPOSITION-_-11-_-501570

"All you need to do is get online and get it ordered." "If you're lucky, the website will recognise your email and computer IP address and the normal item number will be converted and prefixed with SW (Special Weapons)" "The total order comes to £15.000 with £9.000 P&P"

"What!!" screamed M hysterically? " You bunch of shysters! get out, we'll take our chances"


Pussy Galore couldn't hear everything M shouted at the Q team other than the last word sounded like "Off!!!"

"I hope all that didn't upset you too much Pussy Galore," said M. Pussy gave her saddest most pathetic look accompanied by a tiny squeak. "Oh Pussy, never mind, mammy's going give you lots of Dreamies, lots of cuddles and you can sleep on the bed for as long as you like, himself won't mind going in the spare room?"

Pussy managed to maintain the pathetic look and staggered weakly over to the food dish, which was being filled with Dreamies. Inside her head Pussy was ecstatic, if she was clever this could be played to her advantage for weeks to come, and would act as a trial run ready for when M returned from India. "Oh Yes, she thinks I don't know about the little trip, but I don't sit by the computer when emails are exchaging for nothing you know"

"Come on Pussy Galore" said M "Octopussy's not likely to come back yet, he'll have to die another day?"

THE END

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious.
Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead,
is purely intentional.
 
Bluddy brilliant Frazzled!

Wait till I read this out to Meg. She's snoring in her box at the moment.
sleeping.jpg

Umm ... Frazzled ... about "the spy who loved me once" .... you don't happen to have a number or an email address .... do you ....?
 
Superb Frazzled, I've got a stitch again from laughing. Min, I loved that box with the HANDLE WITH CARE DO NOT DROP OR THROW sign. I hope this thread goes on forever. :clapping::clapping::clapping:
 
Well, I've outlined the plot to Meg, who is now awake & just raring to go ...

007.jpg


... Come on Double Nought 7, our moment has come!

0071.jpg


.... In your own time ...​
 
I'm a bit shocked to be honest minim, that the star Meg, is still sleeping in a cardboard box, yes cardboard, i think
that with all the income Meg and Mr Fish are bringing into you, (enough to go swanning round India) that you could
have least have bought her a better bed, a bit more luxurious. So share the love and the money and buy her a
proper bed, not an old QVC box . Shocked SparklyBarbs !!!!!!!!
 
Oh and just to add, don't forget Meg has probably subsidised all your plastic surgery work, you've had done,
i.e. the eyes, and whatever else we don't know yet, or what you have planned, from Megs salary and
fame, so a comfortable bed with maybe lining to keep her warm is the least you can do, before you head
of into the world of holidays and exploring in India. Poor poor meg, lying and sleeping in a box from QVC
 
Barbs it just reflects how unspoilt our Megastar Meg is inspite of her fame. She keeps to her roots with cardboard homes and Dreamies - duck and salmon for Meg, mmmm?
 
Next time I'm clicking the ole camera, I'll get a shot of Meg's newest, padded, plush fur covered bed .... that she refuses to sleep on!
She's had dome covered beds, a cat's teepee tent, bean bags, blankets - you name it.
It's cardboard boxes or nothing!
AND the box sometimes has to be up and sometimes on it's side. She stands in front of it and moans if it is not right.
We've got two boxes on the go at the moment.
BUT ... don't touch her box when she's in it or she'll have you!


mabox.jpg
 

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