Do broken hearts exist ?

[Vienna]

My lovely sister passed away 5 months ago after a long battle with cancer and since then I have tried to support her husband as best as I can but even though he was coping with the practical side of life such as cooking his dinner or doing his washing etc, he was struggling to deal with the loss of her after 40 years married.
Last night he was found dead, no suspicious circumstances he must have just collapsed where he stood and died. I`m convinced he died of a broken heart. Does such a thing exist ? His poor children and grandchildren are shocked to the core and I`m at a loss what to do for them. Until I remarried my sister, brother in law and myself all lived next door to each other for 30 years and it is as if I have lost yet another limb.

 

[merryone]

My lovely sister passed away 5 months ago after a long battle with cancer and since then I have tried to support her husband as best as I can but even though he was coping with the practical side of life such as cooking his dinner or doing his washing etc, he was struggling to deal with the loss of her after 40 years married.
Last night he was found dead, no suspicious circumstances he must have just collapsed where he stood and died. I`m convinced he died of a broken heart. Does such a thing exist ? His poor children and grandchildren are shocked to the core and I`m at a loss what to do for them. Until I remarried my sister, brother in law and myself all lived next door to each other for 30 years and it is as if I have lost yet another limb.

So sorry to hear this Vienna, and how raw this must be for you if it only happened last night. I guess there'll be a medical explanation made for his sudden and unexpected demise. I don't want to ask intrusive questions, but even not being in suspicious circumstances, a cause of death will be ascertained or attempted to be ascertained. I have heard stories of people who have been together for years and when one partner dies, the other one passes very soon afterwards despite having no obvious medical conditions or being of an age where it would seem the most logical explanation. Yes it could be nothing more than coincidence...but I do believe that a "broken heart" is a thing!

So hard for you as you're still coming to terms with the passing of your sister, then this happens. Take care, and try and be strong for the rest of your family...they need you...You need each other. Lots of good wishes coming your way xxx

 

[shopperholic]

Oh no I’m so sorry Vienna, yes I do believe you can die of a broken heart, your body just gives up and can’t function properly without your life partner, the love of your life. I’ve heard about this happening a few times, even my dads grandad died weeks after his wife passed away and that’s all they could put it down to, grief is so painful and powerful for some people when your life is so intertwined with someone you love so dearly, when they go you go. Once again Vienna I’m so sorry for your loss xxx

 

[Twilight]

Vienna, I am so sorry & the shock for everyone must be overwhelming. I'm convinced that broken hearts do exist, we know some animals & birds that mate for life pine away when one dies so that can also be true for people. My father was lost after my mum died, at his funeral I said that he'd always called her his better half, she wasn't but she was truly his other half & life without her was unbearable for him. Even though my sister & I did everything we could he only lived for another 14 months so I can understand what you're feeling. I only know you through your words, however, I know you will do all you can to support his family & I hope that you receive succour too.

 

[maymorganlondon]

What terrible news for you and your family, Vienna.
The heart and mind are powerful things, and I do believe that some never recover from a bereavement of their life partner.
My heart goes out to you all at this devastating turn of events.

 

[Sazza]

My lovely sister passed away 5 months ago after a long battle with cancer and since then I have tried to support her husband as best as I can but even though he was coping with the practical side of life such as cooking his dinner or doing his washing etc, he was struggling to deal with the loss of her after 40 years married.
Last night he was found dead, no suspicious circumstances he must have just collapsed where he stood and died. I`m convinced he died of a broken heart. Does such a thing exist ? His poor children and grandchildren are shocked to the core and I`m at a loss what to do for them. Until I remarried my sister, brother in law and myself all lived next door to each other for 30 years and it is as if I have lost yet another limb.

I am so sorry Vienna

I think all you can do is let your nephews and nieces knows you are there for them

 

[donna255]

I am so sorry Vienna. Your nieces and nephews as said just let them know you are always there if they need to talk.

The answer is yes. Not in the sense of a heart actually breaks in two but the person just gives up.

My Mum died at 60, strokes run in my Mum's side of the family. My Dad always got up early and did as usual went down to make her tea and came up and she was dead in bed. He woke me and I had to rush around in panic he seemed very calm. Eight weeks later I came downstairs in the morning and my Dad was sitting dead in a chair with the dog at his knee and the cat sitting beside his shoulder. Now my Dad never went to the doctor they didn't even have a record of the last time he went. Because of this they had to do an autopty and he had passed due to a sudden heart attack. I noticed in the weeks before he was very very quiet and did not seem to have much interest in things.

 

[Twilight]

Donna, What a terrible time for you. I hope that you received love, support & advice.

 

[shopperholic]

I am so sorry Vienna. Your nieces and nephews as said just let them know you are always there if they need to talk.

The answer is yes. Not in the sense of a heart actually breaks in two but the person just gives up.

My Mum died at 60, strokes run in my Mum's side of the family. My Dad always got up early and did as usual went down to make her tea and came up and she was dead in bed. He woke me and I had to rush around in panic he seemed very calm. Eight weeks later I came downstairs in the morning and my Dad was sitting dead in a chair with the dog at his knee and the cat sitting beside his shoulder. Now my Dad never went to the doctor they didn't even have a record of the last time he went. Because of this they had to do an autopty and he had passed due to a sudden heart attack. I noticed in the weeks before he was very very quiet and did not seem to have much interest in things.

Aw Donna I shed a tear over your comment, I’m so sorry for your loss, sending you a big virtual hug xx

 

[maymorganlondon]

Holding onto life can be a choice, when you suffer bereavement or ill health. I think you have to want to stay where you are rather than go somewhere else.

I had an aunt who was on life support, had that life support switched off, but came through and lived another 20 years due to her determination to be there for her daughter who was going through a horrible time with her marriage.
I had my gran who had a stroke (over Christmas dinner), was recovering well but didn't want to be there and essentially willed herself to death because she didn't feel wanted or needed.
The heart and the brain react in unpredictable ways, but mainly the strings that hold you or release you from this life are those you love the most deeply and the sense of things undone that you want to complete.
They always say the pain of loss is the price you pay for loving deeply... and for some that pain is too much to bear.

 

[Twilight]

Vienna, you are in my thoughts. To all who have contributed, thank you for sharing your stories & such beautiful words. May, you have written exactly what someone close to us is experiencing at the moment.
'The heart and the brain react in unpredictable ways, but mainly the strings that hold you or release you from this life are those you love the most deeply and the sense of things undone that you want to complete.
They always say the pain of loss is the price you pay for loving deeply... and for some that pain is too much to bear.'

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Sorry I’m a little late in offering my condolences.

I feel that people get an inner strength to continue through the toughest of times such as your sister, his wife’s illness but once that toughness is no longer required the body seems to think that it is no longer needed and just gives up.

It takes an enormous will to keep going when your life partner is no longer there.

Just a year ago the week my neighbour lost his wife and if it hadn’t been for his adult family visiting every day I think he would have given up and he has gone from a person who was in the garden and generally about every day to being a virtual hermit.

 

[Evie]

I am so sorry Vienna that you and your family are going through this difficult time. My father-in-law lost all interest in life when my mother-in-law died. He withdrew into a sad place, even though he had family around him and he died peacefully a few months later. It felt as though he had willed for it to happen.

 

[mediastar]

I am so sorry to hear of your bereavements. There is a condition that can affect the heart of people in distress called "Takotsobu Syndrome". One of our family friends died from this. My brother's heart got poorly after our.mother died. Please be kind to yourself and each other. X