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Or Barbara Cartland
The QVC cruise
- Thread starter Jack Bohlen
- Start date
Help Support ShoppingTelly:
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Julia Roberts posing by the pool in her ‘size small’ bikini.
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Abi Cleeve giving lectures about skin cancer and flogging tubes of Uktrasun
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I’m actually on a cruise now 
and luckily it bears no resemblance to this one we are designing.
and luckily it bears no resemblance to this one we are designing.- Joined
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ITV Daytime will also be on board, as with Andi on board they could use him to do his competitions on GMB
Why an apple in his mouth? Am I being slow witted?
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Chunts at the ship’s doctors infirmary discussing her bowels and the perils of a big toe stuck in a bath tap while at sea
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Suckling pig
I still don't get it! Glen, a pig? I'm not a fan of his, but he is far from being a pig.
D
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Plus your Guided Tour of the Ship expert Lee Hohbein… Opens the first door, slams it shut, sits down and phones his cat…
Isn't he going to walk and talk us round it first Duke?
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Sorry, I’m continuing Lilo Lil’s quip about Andi Peters being stuffed for the buffet. The apple in a if’s mouth goes back many years, Henry the 8th was a fan (apparently !). This google extract explains it better than I can. If you find my comments distasteful I will of course delete.
QUOTE:
UNQUOTE
D
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Yes..The King of Style and No Substance on QVC. The Ship tour where he walks you around his cabin, tells you all about his cruising past, and nothing about the current ship.
Jack Bohlen
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User 23988
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2sizes2small mentioning a few times finishing her latest book 
with Michael Perry at the moment 5.15pm.
(Oh god bouncing bunny has appeared now from Ideal World 1&2)
Can you imagine a cruise from hell with these People 
with Michael Perry at the moment 5.15pm.(Oh god bouncing bunny has appeared now from Ideal World 1&2)
Can you imagine a cruise
from hell with these People
Jack Bohlen
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2sizes2small mentioning a few times finishing her latest book
(Oh god bouncing bunny has appeared now from Ideal World 1&2)
Can you imagine a cruise
...You could always visit The Crystal Cave© on deck 6, a real-to-life cave, but with a difference, it's completely made of Julian 'Ronald' McDonald crystals! An amazing experience. We'll get onto the Michael Perry garden deck later...as well and 2sizes2small's writing classes, you too could write a best-seller! "The lost girl who was found again but then got lost then found on the beach".
Jack Bohlen
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EleanorFrancis
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Love this idea, so many funny scenarios that could happen....
QVC is still running live in the background to the cruise - all the new comers are running it now... maybe the cruise is a way to remove the old guard - a clever idea by the new management team, who are all about social media clicks.
Al K - now retired jumps on board- we all know she loves the sun and will be looking to top her tan and catch up with her former colleagues... Charlie is keen to keep her occupied for her brief trip.. we all know how such close friends they are...
Day activities
Alison Young - indoor beauty care and ultra tan demonstrations, as she is frantically warding customers out of the sun - we all know Alison hates the sun.
Tommy Cross - shuffle board activities - topless showing off his muscles - using his gardening hoe gripping skills to demonstrate how to use the long stick. There are a lot on innuendos being said.
Andi P - on the buffet, but distracted by Tommy on deck.
The lovely mature ladies providing exercise classes:
Jill Franks in a bathing suite doing the cardio classes- attracting the keen sporting types -she is all about the fitness and won't go near Andi's buffet.
Julia is on the pilates -opting for a bikini to please her male fans - desperate to attract more males than Catherine, but failing: oh, there is a near miss, as one of her ****s almost slips out, she gives that knowing look and smiles, almost giving old Reg a heart attack.
Catherine is doing yoga in a very tight fitting leotard option and seems to have customers queuing at the door for a sight of her... all the younger males are certainly eager to see Catherine and she is all girly at the thought of them all... the giggles start as she does the downward dog with her bum pushed out. Surely her online followers will being loving this, as she has the event streamed.
Pipa is trying to capture the women's attention while the men gawp at Catherine and to a lesser extent Julia - she is on her stand, free styling a presentation about mindfulness and the menopause.
For the ones looking for relaxation, there is the book corner with Jackie Kabler and Debbie Flint flogging their books, and Julia waddling across after her Pilates class, in her size small bikini trying to get in on the act with promoting her books - oh, another near escape out of her bikini top.
Debbie also trying to plug her retreats to her holiday homes in the UK, whilst flirting - she's free and single (still) and Jackie modelling her bestie Ruth's swim range, messaging Ruth about all the compliments, whilst knocking back some gin.
Seems to all be going off in that book corner.
Evening activities
Night starts with some cabaret - featuring Julia doing some singing and dancing in a dress two sizes too small and with too much cleavage on display, but lapping up the attention.
As it gets too late for old Julia, the night heats up. Julia is off for her beauty sleep - she no longer has the energy for the late shifts.
Cocktail bar is open and Chloe is s running around everywhere, pleasing the guests, and as the drinks flow, the music starts...
DJ Reezy is on the decks - she's a radio DJ as well as a presenter on QVC...
But as the night closes in, it's the adult entertainment with Silver fox Dale and Catherine offering some special services - oh the ladies love Dale and we all know who has the most likes on insta - it's Catherine, who seems to be wearing very little, as she woos the male guests, who marvel on her weight loss and her twins, which she has hanging out - they certainly don't sell such an x rated outfit on QVC.
Dale doesn't seem to be as popular as he thought - the scantily dressed women seem to be asking for the shuffleboard instructor - they want Tommy.
Ali K reflects on the days activities at a distant bar. She is glad to be retired and away from all those egos, even calling Kathy Taylor to fill her in on all the gossip.
Charlie is giggling now too as he returns to Ali K's table and she starts to put together a trip advisor review..
QVC is still running live in the background to the cruise - all the new comers are running it now... maybe the cruise is a way to remove the old guard - a clever idea by the new management team, who are all about social media clicks.
Al K - now retired jumps on board- we all know she loves the sun and will be looking to top her tan and catch up with her former colleagues... Charlie is keen to keep her occupied for her brief trip.. we all know how such close friends they are...
Day activities
Alison Young - indoor beauty care and ultra tan demonstrations, as she is frantically warding customers out of the sun - we all know Alison hates the sun.
Tommy Cross - shuffle board activities - topless showing off his muscles - using his gardening hoe gripping skills to demonstrate how to use the long stick. There are a lot on innuendos being said.
Andi P - on the buffet, but distracted by Tommy on deck.
The lovely mature ladies providing exercise classes:
Jill Franks in a bathing suite doing the cardio classes- attracting the keen sporting types -she is all about the fitness and won't go near Andi's buffet.
Julia is on the pilates -opting for a bikini to please her male fans - desperate to attract more males than Catherine, but failing: oh, there is a near miss, as one of her ****s almost slips out, she gives that knowing look and smiles, almost giving old Reg a heart attack.
Catherine is doing yoga in a very tight fitting leotard option and seems to have customers queuing at the door for a sight of her... all the younger males are certainly eager to see Catherine and she is all girly at the thought of them all... the giggles start as she does the downward dog with her bum pushed out. Surely her online followers will being loving this, as she has the event streamed.
Pipa is trying to capture the women's attention while the men gawp at Catherine and to a lesser extent Julia - she is on her stand, free styling a presentation about mindfulness and the menopause.
For the ones looking for relaxation, there is the book corner with Jackie Kabler and Debbie Flint flogging their books, and Julia waddling across after her Pilates class, in her size small bikini trying to get in on the act with promoting her books - oh, another near escape out of her bikini top.
Debbie also trying to plug her retreats to her holiday homes in the UK, whilst flirting - she's free and single (still) and Jackie modelling her bestie Ruth's swim range, messaging Ruth about all the compliments, whilst knocking back some gin.
Seems to all be going off in that book corner.
Evening activities
Night starts with some cabaret - featuring Julia doing some singing and dancing in a dress two sizes too small and with too much cleavage on display, but lapping up the attention.
As it gets too late for old Julia, the night heats up. Julia is off for her beauty sleep - she no longer has the energy for the late shifts.
Cocktail bar is open and Chloe is s running around everywhere, pleasing the guests, and as the drinks flow, the music starts...
DJ Reezy is on the decks - she's a radio DJ as well as a presenter on QVC...
But as the night closes in, it's the adult entertainment with Silver fox Dale and Catherine offering some special services - oh the ladies love Dale and we all know who has the most likes on insta - it's Catherine, who seems to be wearing very little, as she woos the male guests, who marvel on her weight loss and her twins, which she has hanging out - they certainly don't sell such an x rated outfit on QVC.
Dale doesn't seem to be as popular as he thought - the scantily dressed women seem to be asking for the shuffleboard instructor - they want Tommy.
Ali K reflects on the days activities at a distant bar. She is glad to be retired and away from all those egos, even calling Kathy Taylor to fill her in on all the gossip.
Charlie is giggling now too as he returns to Ali K's table and she starts to put together a trip advisor review..
