The Huntley - where has she gone ?

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loveallthingsitalian said:
We don‘t really have those retirement villages here but they look lovely and I would move to the mainland to one but our house prices are much lower here so the difference between our home and one of those would be too high to cover plus living and maintenance.
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We've looked into some and the maintenance charges were eye watering.
 
Silver Fox said:
Just think of those you leave behind and do right by them.I speak from experience left with a bitter pill to swallow, but hey there is a life to live and nothing is going to spoil that!
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There's lots to consider... keep promises; don't borrow and not pay back; tell your loved ones you love them... often. Don't leave tons of cr@p for your loved ones to deal with when you are gone. Don't leave your paperwork in a mess... be kind to those you engage with, and if you can't try - to disengage from them.
I don't have kids so no grandkids. No in-laws past or present. I don't move around much but I feel I'm a rolling stone gathering no moss!
I just try my best. It might not be enough for some, but I can live with myself.
 
loveallthingsitalian said:
I’m the opposite- like that advert- it’s only bricks and mortar and I would move in a heartbeat especially now that our house isn’t really suitable for us now. My star sign is cancer which is supposed to be the homemaker but I go against everything sentimental. I love interior design but it can always be replicated elsewhere.

I think I may be nomadic at heart but Mr L isn’t at all so that ship has sailed now!
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My love for this house is very deep; my parents bought it in 1965 so even though I have vague memories of the two previous houses this one is home. My Mr T & I had other houses before we moved here but when the building maintenance & size of the garden became too much for my dad we bought it. My parents were wonderful & really positive about the changes we made, our younger daughter is the only person to have lived here as a baby & I love every brick. Maybe it's something in the water because there are three other houses in the road that have also been kept in the family.
 
maymorganlondon said:
There's lots to consider... keep promises; don't borrow and not pay back; tell your loved ones you love them... often. Don't leave tons of cr@p for your loved ones to deal with when you are gone. Don't leave your paperwork in a mess... be kind to those you engage with, and if you can't try - to disengage from them.
I don't have kids so no grandkids. No in-laws past or present. I don't move around much but I feel I'm a rolling stone gathering no moss!
I just try my best. It might not be enough for some, but I can live with myself.
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You're a lovely person SF ❤️
 
I think retirement villages are unnatural because we're not meant to live in single generation units. I saw this happen in a minor way when my aunt changed character completely when she established a play group & started speaking to everyone, much to my grandmother's exasperation, as though we were three with wet knickers & our fantastic next door neighbour had the same metamorphosis when she left general nursing & became matron in an elderly care home.
 
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Twilight said:
My love for this house is very deep; my parents bought it in 1965 so even though I have vague memories of the two previous houses this one is home. My Mr T & I had other houses before we moved here but when the building maintenance & size of the garden became too much for my dad we bought it. My parents were wonderful & really positive about the changes we made, our younger daughter is the only person to have lived here as a baby & I love every brick. Maybe it's something in the water because there are three other houses in the road that have also been kept in the family.
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That reminds me of my original lovely neighbours who were in their 80's when I moved into my current home in 1994. They were the parents of my vendors. They had switched out of their house into the flat to give their son and his family the extra space. The house was built for Mrs Neighbour's dad. When they passed on the house went to her, and she and hubby swapped with their son. So the house would have been build at the turn of the 20th Century I do wonder if either the grandson or granddaughter will be able to continue to continue the tradition, or even want to... given that some flats locally are approaching 7-figure sums to purchase, it might be difficult to hang on.
 
I too have looked into these 'villages', and also apartments in converted country homes, but Lord above the prices !!! The cheapest 1/2 bed places are over £300,000 and once communal charges are factored in then only the extremely wealthy can afford them. Selling your own home for a similar amount to move to one of these smaller places makes no sense, as there would be no money left to live on !

The dailies are full of these homes, and dependant on location, some are half a million, well I'd rather stay where I am or go into a mobile home and have money in the bank.
 
My Mum died in her late 60`s but my Dad lived until he was 87. My youngest brother had married later in life and not long before Mum died. He and his wife had taken on quite a large mortgage to buy his wife`s family home. Her Mum passed away just before mine did.
Dad was like a lost soul living alone. He came to my house twice a week, to my sister`s house twice a week and to my youngest brother`s house twice a week, my oldest brother lived hundreds of miles away but kept in touch by phone. We did his washing, food shopping, paid his bills for him etc and made sure he was with one of us almost every evening. We were all working full time but we always found time to have him and look after him.
He decided to sell his house and move in with my youngest brother who`d asked him to consider it. They were struggling with their mortgage and by then their first child had come along. I asked Dad to think carefully, Mum had only been gone a year or so and even though he`d begun to go out during the day and join in several clubs and activities and make some friends, he still fretted for her.
Anyway he sold up, moved in with my brother but it was far from what he deserved. My brother and his wife worked several jobs between them, Dad was left very much alone, he was roped in to care for toddlers by then there were 2 of them, he was always cold because they never put the heating on whilst they were out, my SIL was taking a big chunk of his pension off him, he even used to buy his own favourite foods because SIL wouldn`t buy anything but the cheapest and even though he never said anything to me and my sister, we both could tell he wasn`t really happy during the 15 years he lived with my brother but he was too proud to admit he`d made a mistake.
When he fell ill with cancer it was me and sis who took him to appointments and collected him to bring him to our houses. My sister begged him to move in with her, she had more room than I had and her kids had already left home but he wouldn`t move, stubborn as a mule. The money from his house had gone and we knew where, he had just a single wardrobe with a few clothes, his own TV, his recliner chair and that was it and he had about £3000 in a carrier bag in his wardrobe which he`d squirrelled away to pay for his funeral.
The last week of his life, myself and sis never left his bedside and when he finally passed away my sister took my SIL to task, she`d never do it whilst Dad was alive because he was a peacekeeper and she knew it would upset him. My brother later suffered with a guilty conscience and so he should have. He had depression, fits of temper and his marriage hit a sticky patch. My SIL began drinking heavily and she was even found unconscious on a bus station somewhere plus she was stopped for drink driving. My brother and his wife imploded but somehow I think karma had a hand in it and sometimes people reap what they sow.
 
Vienna said:
My Mum died in her late 60`s but my Dad lived until he was 87. My youngest brother had married later in life and not long before Mum died. He and his wife had taken on quite a large mortgage to buy his wife`s family home. Her Mum passed away just before mine did.
Dad was like a lost soul living alone. He came to my house twice a week, to my sister`s house twice a week and to my youngest brother`s house twice a week, my oldest brother lived hundreds of miles away but kept in touch by phone. We did his washing, food shopping, paid his bills for him etc and made sure he was with one of us almost every evening. We were all working full time but we always found time to have him and look after him.
He decided to sell his house and move in with my youngest brother who`d asked him to consider it. They were struggling with their mortgage and by then their first child had come along. I asked Dad to think carefully, Mum had only been gone a year or so and even though he`d begun to go out during the day and join in several clubs and activities and make some friends, he still fretted for her.
Anyway he sold up, moved in with my brother but it was far from what he deserved. My brother and his wife worked several jobs between them, Dad was left very much alone, he was roped in to care for toddlers by then there were 2 of them, he was always cold because they never put the heating on whilst they were out, my SIL was taking a big chunk of his pension off him, he even used to buy his own favourite foods because SIL wouldn`t buy anything but the cheapest and even though he never said anything to me and my sister, we both could tell he wasn`t really happy during the 15 years he lived with my brother but he was too proud to admit he`d made a mistake.
When he fell ill with cancer it was me and sis who took him to appointments and collected him to bring him to our houses. My sister begged him to move in with her, she had more room than I had and her kids had already left home but he wouldn`t move, stubborn as a mule. The money from his house had gone and we knew where, he had just a single wardrobe with a few clothes, his own TV, his recliner chair and that was it and he had about £3000 in a carrier bag in his wardrobe which he`d squirrelled away to pay for his funeral.
The last week of his life, myself and sis never left his bedside and when he finally passed away my sister took my SIL to task, she`d never do it whilst Dad was alive because he was a peacekeeper and she knew it would upset him. My brother later suffered with a guilty conscience and so he should have. He had depression, fits of temper and his marriage hit a sticky patch. My SIL began drinking heavily and she was even found unconscious on a bus station somewhere plus she was stopped for drink driving. My brother and his wife imploded but somehow I think karma had a hand in it and sometimes people reap what they sow.
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There are often heartbreaking stories of situations like this. When I worked as a home help for my local council as a summer holiday job from school, I witnessed this. It was a DIL calling the shots on her MIL, and she was cruel. Grandkids banned from talking to her, not allowed to leave her room and join the family for meals. Elder abuse, essentially... and the son just let it happen. No idea if karma caught up with them, sadly...but it should.
 
Twilight said:
You're a lovely person SF ❤️
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I would say a normal person, I had counselling last year and she described me as a ‘care bear’! I just like to think I have done my best for someone but no accolades earned, it is what you do.My faults are too long to list, but the important thing is to remember you must not be derailed from you own beliefs and path.
 
brissles said:
Well, at 73 its come home to me more and more that my 'time' could be up anytime within the next few years. Ok I could live for another 20, but I'm realistic. 10 years ago I never gave it a thought, but once I turned 70 and yes I have a young outlook, but there it is, niggling away in the background. I've even started downsizing in this house - sorting drawers out, reducing the amount of photos that nobody will want, offloading the amount of china I have - I no longer need enough to feed a regiment, knick knacks reduced to a favoured few, all so that when I'm no longer here the house clearance won't be too much for my brothers to deal with.
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clear out - sure - but stay young, B. You don't sound 'old old' on here. Neither does 'The Boffster' - plus she always laughs at my inappropiate 'jokes'. Sometimes it's unintentional, btw....Mr B says I'm on the spectrum....Haaaaa
 
donna255 said:
As for the track and trace thing. I know someone who has a vulnerable daughter and last year she in lockdown was very careful. So a few months ago she got a text from T and T saying 'You are now safe to stop self-isolating.' She was freaking out as she never got the text saying she should be self-isolating as she had been in contact with someone.
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T & T =🤪
 
stratobuddy said:
I just had a look around a new block of retirement homes, they looked very impressive when furnished in a minimal way, and no gardening or maintenance to do, but at a service charge of £1000s a year.

But if I moved there with all my gadgets, I wouldn't be able to get through the front door.
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Strato, are you an oddball? (dungeon?)
 

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