The All New Perimenopause Thread

[Disenchanted]

Gloria Hunniford was a spokeswoman for an organisation called the Amarant Trust that gave advice about all aspects of the menopause but I've spent the last 30 mins searching the web - to no avail - and is doesn't seem to exist as an online resource any longer.

I once saw a televised debate on HRT between her - very anti-HRT - and Miriam Stoppard - a strong advocate of it. To support her stance, Gloria called on the opinions of a naturopath called Jan de Vries who has written a couple of books on non-clinical ways of coping with the symptoms. The original one is out of print now but still available secondhand (good old Amazon!) and there is an updated reprint.

For lots of reasons I didn't ever consider HRT but my sister-in-law - now aged 68 - has been taking it for about 20 years and doesn't intend to stop. Her GP wouldn't renew her prescription after the recommended 10 years but all her symptoms returned with a vengeance so she persuaded him to let her start again. She now says, with hindsight, she would rather have gone through the menopause when nature intended her to rather than postpone it - which is all HRT does - to an age when she was less able to cope with it.

It's hard to know who is right when every week there are new reports with contradictory evidence but we all have the right to make informed decisions. I hope both Akimbo and Petpixie, in particular, have supportive loved ones to help them with theirs and that they take heart from Vienna's and Lilo Lill's encouraging posts.

 

[BusyMum]

I think the important thing to remember is that we're all different - we all have different symptoms and we cope with these in our different ways - I never remember my mum having problems (not that she told me about at least!) - I know some women sail thru it and others have many many problems...here at least we can chuck things into the pot and see what comes out, I'm sure there will be many helpful suggestions forthcoming...sez she hopefully..!

HRT, I did try it, my doc at the time (a young woman) thought it was something every woman should try when the time came - yes I did feel better after a couple of months, my hair improved, even my nails were better (and that's saying something!) but after a while I began to feel that it wasn't doing me any good, and as I was on the double patch system it was costing me two scrips a month, and I came off it. Yes it only postpones the menopause, so sooner or later we all have to go thru it.

I think my big thing is the tiredness ..I try not to nap in the afternoon but sometimes I simply can't keep my eyes open and I have to get down on the sofa - nights, I never get thru a night without waking up at least three times, whether or no I have an afternoon nap...so I figure I'm not getting the deep refreshing sleep I need and I wake up in the morning still tired. Doc's keeping an eye on my haemoglobin and that seems to be ok - he doesn't want me to take any OTC meds for it as he wants to know if my body is coping without help. So far so good. But by gum I'm ****** tired again this morning!

 

[petpixie]

I used to sleep like a baby, but I don't sleep well now. Like Carol I wake up at least 3 times and sometimes I feel as if I've spent the whole night in a state just between sleep and wakefulness. Last night wasn't bad I got 5 hours and only woke once so that's a really good night for me. Not sure if the sleep issue is menopause related or just life though!
I've discounted HRT as I feel it's just putting off the inevitable and tbh the health aspect of it worries me. I avoid the doctor like the plague and very rarely venture there apart from the necessary smear test every 3 years so I don't fancy starting something which means I have to visit more often. I've decided I'm turning into a moany old bat and I'm determined to be more positive! I've got so much to be thankful for and I can't turn back the clock so I must make the best of what I have here and now. xx

 

[BusyMum]

Moany old bats unite!

I think the sleep problem is age-related if not actually menopause-related - I used to sleep thru anything. One night about a month ago I had a good night - woke up around 6am in the same position I'd gone to sleep in - what I wouldn't give to find out how I managed that! Usually I'm tossing and turning because if I lay still too long when I'm awake something starts hurting - hip, back, shoulder - I guess you're all with me on that one! I wonder if that's what actually wakes us when we ARE asleep? I'd love to try a water bed or something! We have a memory-foam type mattress (nothing as expensive as Tempur tho!) with a memory-foam topper on top of that, maybe should try a featherbed on top of THAT!

 

[Disenchanted]

Same here - I'm sure it was no coincidence that my insomnia started at the same time as the menopause. Acupuncture did help me for a while but haven't tried it for a few years - maybe worth giving it another go!

Some nights/mornings I get so desperate that I even turn upside down to sleep with my head at the foot end of the bed! Always freaks OH out in the morning........

 

[Frazzled]

I went through the menopause in my late thirties/early forties. I wasn't keen but eventually gave in to the doctor who was insistent I should take HRT as I had gone through this so young. It was a while finding a pill that I didn't get side effects from and I took it for about 10 years.

I found it a godsend, no more aches and pains, flushes, headaches etc. Best of all getting through the night comfortably without 3-4 visits to the loo! None of these symptoms came back when I stopped taking it, apart from a rare hot flush.

POSTMENOPAUSE - PLEASE BE AWARE OF THIS:-

I had an ovarian cancer scare three years ago following a body scan which I had for another reason. Fortunately, following some rapid surgery I was given the all clear.

I had no symptoms whatsoever that anything was wrong other than very minor spotting a couple times over a few years - which I ignored thinking it was probably normal.

If this happens to you, please don't ignore it like I did. The surgeon told me I was very lucky it had come to light when it did.

 

[reflexgirl]

I am 50 and have been in the menopause for about 3 years now. When I first went to the doctor, having not had a period for 6 months, she confirmed it and I can remember feeling very sad and tearful for a few days. I have not been fortunate in being able to have any children (miscarried)and so for me it was the sudden realisation that I was no longer young and the prospect of "maybe one day" was gone. However as time has gone on this feeling has passed and I have come to terms with my age. I do not take HRT. I have never had a hot flush, my hair and nails are ok. I have put on weight around my middle - but then I like chocolate! I am a reflexologist and I am fortunate that I have made a couple of friends over the last couple of years in neighbouring villages who are also reflexologists. We swap a treatment with each other every week if we can. On the ocassions where we are on holiday or simply cant get together, I really notice the difference in how I feel - tired, sluggish and disinterested. Obviously I am bound to say that reflexology helps, as I truly believe it does help the body, but equally I know that it cannot be scientifically proven, so therefore cannot categorically say that it is the reason for my limited symptoms. I would love to do a controlled study! I think the most overwhelming symptom for me at this time in my life is the feeling of being down and despressed some days, not every day though . I dont know whether to put this down soley to menopause or whether the loss of my mum and friend recently has a bearing on my happiness.

 

[BusyMum]

Did we all sleep well last night then? No, me neither! I think I must have night flushes as often I wake to chuck the duvet off and lay till I've cooled down, then try and get back to sleep - but at least it's not night sweats - have heard of people who are so bad they change the sheets in the middle of the night! I'd be tempted to just put a microfibre bath sheet underneath my body. Mind you, dunno if there's one big enough...:wink:

Reflexgirl - I LOVE my reflexology sessions! I don't know either whether it does any actual good but I do enjoy it and it's the one thing that relaxes me..in fact I usually nod off - I've said to my lady would she come and sit at the foot of the bed at night, then let herself out when I'm happily snoozling in the Land of Nod! I'll happily be a volunteer in your controlled study anyway! :happy:

 

[YORKO]

Moany old bats unite!

I think the sleep problem is age-related if not actually menopause-related - I used to sleep thru anything. One night about a month ago I had a good night - woke up around 6am in the same position I'd gone to sleep in - what I wouldn't give to find out how I managed that! Usually I'm tossing and turning because if I lay still too long when I'm awake something starts hurting - hip, back, shoulder - I guess you're all with me on that one! I wonder if that's what actually wakes us when we ARE asleep? I'd love to try a water bed or something! We have a memory-foam type mattress (nothing as expensive as Tempur tho!) with a memory-foam topper on top of that, maybe should try a featherbed on top of THAT!

Hi

I ummed and arred about a featherbed topper for months before taking the plunge when it was once on easypay. I have never regretted it as the descriptions I used to laugh about i.e. sleeping on a cloud etc were spot on. Have had it now for 18 months.

They say you need to fluff up every few days but I do it every morning (so anyone with any mobility problems etc needs to take that into account) but truly it transformed my sleeping experience. (God I sound like an add for NN).

I would say try one, it may make all the difference :happy:

 

[Disenchanted]

.....and do buy a Chillow - it's like having the cool spot on the pillow but all over. Great for soothing headaches too - I don't know how I would have managed without mine.

 

[petpixie]

My flushes have tailed off now. I think they probably started a year ago and were never really bad. No one ever noticed and I didn't perspire or wake up during the night because of them. I feel I got off lightly there. For a couple of months they were coming thick and fast one after the other especially in the evenings, but I haven't had one for a couple of weeks so I reckon I'm done. I don't expect I'll have another period now. I feel like crying!! I thought menopause would be different. I thought I'd start missing periods and that would go on for a couple of years at least, but instead I was regular as clockwork as usual until within a time frame of 6 months I had a heavier period every 2/3 weeks then missed a month then back to 2/3 weeks then nothing. It was all done and dusted so quickly! I feel I didn't get the proper time to adjust.

 

[LipstickCherry]

I think I am probably peri-menopausal - I'm certainly the right age for it! For about a year my cycle has been shorter than previously. I was always 28-30 days, and now I'm 25-26 days, and my periods are definitely heavier than previously. I don't sleep very well, although I think I'm genetically predisposed to this too as my Dad was always a very poor sleeper, and my hair, skin and nails are getting drier by the day.

I find it really interesting how some of us really miss having periods, how it seems to have affected us psychologically. About six months ago I had a gap of six weeks between periods and I got really really upset at the thought of not having any more. It's not on my radar at all to be having a baby at the age of 49, so why is it such a big deal?

 

[BusyMum]

Hi

I ummed and arred about a featherbed topper for months before taking the plunge when it was once on easypay. I have never regretted it as the descriptions I used to laugh about i.e. sleeping on a cloud etc were spot on. Have had it now for 18 months.

They say you need to fluff up every few days but I do it every morning (so anyone with any mobility problems etc needs to take that into account) but truly it transformed my sleeping experience. (God I sound like an add for NN).

I would say try one, it may make all the difference :happy:

I had two Yorko before I switched to a memory foam topper, which I prefer, but now, whether my arthur-ritis is getting worse or what, I find the old hips are paining me when I lie on them - I do have a latex pillow which helps if I place that under me, but soon I'll need a step-ladder to get into bed!

.....and do buy a Chillow - it's like having the cool spot on the pillow but all over. Great for soothing headaches too - I don't know how I would have managed without mine.

Funnily enough my head doesn't get the heat during the night, it's my body..even my feet have to be uncovered for how ever long it takes for me to cool down and cover up again!

 

[YORKO]

I had two Yorko before I switched to a memory foam topper, which I prefer, but now, whether my arthur-ritis is getting worse or what, I find the old hips are paining me when I lie on them - I do have a latex pillow which helps if I place that under me, but soon I'll need a step-ladder to get into bed!



Funnily enough my head doesn't get the heat during the night, it's my body..even my feet have to be uncovered for how ever long it takes for me to cool down and cover up again!

Getting older (note not old but older:happy really sucks

 

[Akimbo]

It's a feeling that runs very deep, the yearning for children, even when your sensible head can rationalise it away as nonsense. My late mum, a scientist on the autistic spectrum and not disposed to sentimentality, who hated being pregnant and didn't enjoy motherhood used to explain that inexplicable pms tearfulness we sometimes get as being almost like a mourning for an unsuccessful month (procreationally), those wobbly days coinciding as they do with hormone levels dropping off. It's the same rapide drop of progesterone after delivery of a baby that gives some mums the 3rd day weepies (not the same as post-natal depression). Maybe it was just her way of giving me an explanation but it makes you wonder.

Jude xx

 

[Anne]

Thank you all of those that have said about sleeping problems being part of it. I never realised that. I used to sleep for around nine hours a night solidly. Now, I can sometimes have problems getting to sleep and also wake up early needing the loo then can't get back to sleep. Thankfully though usually once I'm asleep thats it until about 6.00am. Some days it can be a couple of hours earlier but touch wood that doesn't happen often. Don't know how you all cope if you're sleep is broken every night.

We used to have a featherbed but ditched it when it went lumpy. Just have a memory foam topper now with a wool duvet. Would really recommend the duvet.

 

[Akimbo]

There are some tips on the insomnia thread http://forum.shoppingtelly.com/forum/showthread.php?36720-HELP-I-have-really-bad-Insomnia which might be useful. Having always got by on less sleep than most there is a mind shift in accepting you're sleeping less that can reduce the stress surrounding it (if that makes sense). What I mean is, that worrying about it makes it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. When I worked 12 hour shifts I managed to survive on 3-4 hours sleep and perform a complex job without too much loss of competence.

Maybe the fuzzy headedness attibuted to the menopause is partly adjusting to the new sleep pattern but, tipped on its head, perhaps the added stress is keeping you awake, maybe it's just a case of finding a way to break the cycle.

Jude xx

 

[Anne]

Thanks for that link Jude I'll check it out. Know what you mean about worrying about getting off to sleep but I "think" I've broken that now as it doesn't happen very often. Tried rescue remedy night time when it first started and that seemed to help stop it. Wonder why we do need less sleep as we get older.

 

[Akimbo]

If my bedtime routine doesn't get me off to sleep in about 15minutes now I just get up, potter for 20 minutes and then try again. I'm frequently found loading the washing machine at 4am! I know they tell you not to nap if you have trouble nodding off but I think you just have to listen to your body and if you're bone-achingly tired have a nap.

Jude xx

 

[Anne]

If my bedtime routine doesn't get me off to sleep in about 15minutes now I just get up, potter for 20 minutes and then try again. I'm frequently found loading the washing machine at 4am! I know they tell you not to nap if you have trouble nodding off but I think you just have to listen to your body and if you're bone-achingly tired have a nap.

Jude xx

Will definately try that next time it happens Jude instead of lying there and getting wound up by it.