Table presents

[candycane]

I never see my mum on Christmas Day as she's with my sister and her family but we go at New Year. It must be hard the first year you are without someone so I hope everyone in this situation gets through OK.

CC

 

[mal73]

Table presents? For christ sake, just be thankful you're getting fed! This country has gone barmy. What will it be like in the future? Will a bottle of wine no longer be acceptable as a thank you for a meal invite? Will I have to replace it with some Louis vuitton luggage or a round the world cruise? I dread t think what kids are getting as a pass the parcel prize these days - share in a racehorse?

 

[Totally Loopy Lou]

Sigh! Oh reading the last posts of this thread has been heart-warming (memories of happy, simple but special Christmases past), and SO sad (those who have lost their mums recently or long ago)…

I’m very lucky still to have my mum with me, though I’m not that old so I would hope so.
But she’s not terribly well and although I’m round the corner, I’m housebound and v poorly, so I can’t care for her or do anything for her which absolutely breaks my heart.
I check in daily and treat her and do what I can as moral support.

But my darling daddy, to whom I was incredibly close - like my mum - died few days before Christmas so that adds a cloud….
[Another cloud has been it being hard for me and my family with me being ill and never being able to join in any celebrations for 2 decades and counting. But try not to dwell on that..!]

It was *8* years ago now that dad died, too young, and it feels like yesterday…

Funnily enough though, my cousin had her son on the same date a year later so that was special…

Sorry, am over-sharing, Christmas time does stir up a lot of feelings and memories, doesn’t it.
And makes me even more sentimental!

I have such happy memories of childhood Christmases - we weren’t hugely well off but they were perfect.

I just loved midnight mass, the meal together, silly games and long walk with the dogs..

We always had presents after (late!) lunch.
Delayed gratification! Although I did hate receiving gifts back then!

We did have stockings too, my brother and I and often sharing a room so grandma could stay.

We’d wake each other crazily early and open them. Then show them to mum and dad later in the morning.
They must’ve been so shocked to see the contents
(Actually to be fair, dad probably hadn’t had much input!!)

Oh gosh just looked at what I’ve written and it’s an essay - apologies!

 

[AndiK]

Sorry to hear of your loss Catz. My Mum passed away 3 weeks before Christmas over 30 years ago now. I still miss her. The year she died and just after her funeral my dad found everybody`s Christmas presents in the bottom of her wardrobe and he asked me to wrap them. I cried as I wrapped every gift and I didnt need telling which gift was for which person or grandchild because she`d thought very carefully what to buy everybody and it was obvious who they were for. She loved Christmas and that particular year was so miserable for us all.
She`d have baked hundreds of mince pies for everybody including neighbours and would have cooked enough food to feed an Army. When we were kids she`d send us with a Christmas dinner for elderly neighbours or people she knew would be alone and there`d be a plate of mince pies or even a Christmas cake for them too. In her eyes Christmas was simply for giving, she loved to give and yet when we bought her anything she`d tell us we shouldn`t have and that we should have spent the money on ourselves. She asked for nothing and yet gave everything even when she really couldn`t afford it. She would do without so she could ensure the rest of us lacked for nothing.

Ah, the combination of the stories you tell on here and the way you relate them has a way of bringing a tear to my eye, Vienna. What lovely memories. I bet you have inherited a lot of your own character and ways from your dear mum.

 

[Patsy]

Sigh! Oh reading the last posts of this thread has been heart-warming (memories of happy, simple but special Christmases past), and SO sad (those who have lost their mums recently or long ago)…

I’m very lucky still to have my mum with me, though I’m not that old so I would hope so.
But she’s not terribly well and although I’m round the corner, I’m housebound and v poorly, so I can’t care for her or do anything for her which absolutely breaks my heart.
I check in daily and treat her and do what I can as moral support.

But my darling daddy, to whom I was incredibly close - like my mum - died few days before Christmas so that adds a cloud….
[Another cloud has been it being hard for me and my family with me being ill and never being able to join in any celebrations for 2 decades and counting. But try not to dwell on that..!]

It was *8* years ago now that dad died, too young, and it feels like yesterday…

Funnily enough though, my cousin had her son on the same date a year later so that was special…

Sorry, am over-sharing, Christmas time does stir up a lot of feelings and memories, doesn’t it.
And makes me even more sentimental!

I have such happy memories of childhood Christmases - we weren’t hugely well off but they were perfect.

I just loved midnight mass, the meal together, silly games and long walk with the dogs..

We always had presents after (late!) lunch.
Delayed gratification! Although I did hate receiving gifts back then!

We did have stockings too, my brother and I and often sharing a room so grandma could stay.

We’d wake each other crazily early and open them. Then show them to mum and dad later in the morning.
They must’ve been so shocked to see the contents
(Actually to be fair, dad probably hadn’t had much input!!)

Oh gosh just looked at what I’ve written and it’s an essay - apologies!

 

[candycane]

Sigh! Oh reading the last posts of this thread has been heart-warming (memories of happy, simple but special Christmases past), and SO sad (those who have lost their mums recently or long ago)…

I’m very lucky still to have my mum with me, though I’m not that old so I would hope so.
But she’s not terribly well and although I’m round the corner, I’m housebound and v poorly, so I can’t care for her or do anything for her which absolutely breaks my heart.
I check in daily and treat her and do what I can as moral support.

But my darling daddy, to whom I was incredibly close - like my mum - died few days before Christmas so that adds a cloud….
[Another cloud has been it being hard for me and my family with me being ill and never being able to join in any celebrations for 2 decades and counting. But try not to dwell on that..!]

It was *8* years ago now that dad died, too young, and it feels like yesterday…

Funnily enough though, my cousin had her son on the same date a year later so that was special…

Sorry, am over-sharing, Christmas time does stir up a lot of feelings and memories, doesn’t it.
And makes me even more sentimental!

I have such happy memories of childhood Christmases - we weren’t hugely well off but they were perfect.

I just loved midnight mass, the meal together, silly games and long walk with the dogs..

We always had presents after (late!) lunch.
Delayed gratification! Although I did hate receiving gifts back then!

We did have stockings too, my brother and I and often sharing a room so grandma could stay.

We’d wake each other crazily early and open them. Then show them to mum and dad later in the morning.
They must’ve been so shocked to see the contents
(Actually to be fair, dad probably hadn’t had much input!!)

Oh gosh just looked at what I’ve written and it’s an essay - apologies!

Actually I love reading people's stories - I don't know anyone on this forum personally but having a little peek into other people's lives is really nice. We're all Jock Tamson's Bairns as my Granny used to say!

CC

 

[Totally Loopy Lou]

Actually I love reading people's stories - I don't know anyone on this forum personally but having a little peek into other people's lives is really nice. We're all Jock Tamson's Bairns as my Granny used to say!

CC

Oh me too!

But I am going to have to get on Google “Jock Tamson’s Bairns”?! X

 

[Rowan]

Yes they are Grizelda. My parents didn't have lots of money but our Christmases were always special.

This is our first Christmas without our mum and it's awful. I keep seeing things and think "that's a mum jumper or that's a lovely perfume mum would like". Then it makes Christmas shopping very sad.

I can't believe that this year there will be nothing to get for my mum or mother in law. It's going to be different this year. Heartbreaking really.

I feel for you as i lost my own mum and also my mother in law this year, I am heartbroken.

 

[mina]

We had a little routine when the children were small - after breakfast Mr M would take them to the hospital where he worked and they used to love handing out mince pies and treats to patients well enough to enjoy them, then they'd all come home for dinner, me very grateful for the free time to sort out the dinner, usually helped by a neighbour who used to pop in for a glass of wine on Christmas morning. I'm sure nowadays health and safety rules would put an end to their Christmas visits. Then the family would come home for dinner and we'd open presents after that. The downside was that Mr M could be called out for an emergency sometimes in the middle of our Christmas dinner (this happened more than once), so he had the rest of his dinner after the rest of us, but we always opened our presents together.

Table presents? No time for that. But spare a thought for emergency workers who are at everyone's beck and call over Christmas.

 

[merryone]

Table presents? For christ sake, just be thankful you're getting fed! This country has gone barmy. What will it be like in the future? Will a bottle of wine no longer be acceptable as a thank you for a meal invite? Will I have to replace it with some Louis vuitton luggage or a round the world cruise? I dread t think what kids are getting as a pass the parcel prize these days - share in a racehorse?

Exactly! Not only that, when the family are sat around the table the blood, sweat and tears that have gone into producing a huge and delicious meal for everyone should be the sole focus and to have it upstaged by a load of unnecessary cheap (ok not so cheap) trinkets does not sit right with me at all. Fgs savour the meal, compliment the host, pull the crackers, put on a silly hat and tell the lousy jokes. Surely words of praise and a hand with the clearing up says more that a bottle of cheap stink and yes all the extra detritus that comes with it could ever do!

 

[mina]

I should have added to the list, remember all those whose line of duty takes them away from home at like people in the forces AND those people who spend their Christmas alone, sometimes by choice, sometimes not. They always deserve a shout and table presents (what are those?) has nothing to do with anything except being duped into buying extra stuff.

 

[User 23988]

Exactly! Not only that, when the family are sat around the table the blood, sweat and tears that have gone into producing a huge and delicious meal for everyone should be the sole focus and to have it upstaged by a load of unnecessary cheap (ok not so cheap) trinkets does not sit right with me at all. Fgs savour the meal, compliment the host, pull the crackers, put on a silly hat and tell the lousy jokes. Surely words of praise and a hand with the clearing up says more that a bottle of cheap stink and yes all the extra detritus that comes with it could ever do!

Anybody who takes notice of any of the tat sellers( including self proclaimed novelists ) about presents on the table,seriously they are here to make you spend more money,in the QVC bubble nobody is poor or wondering about the next meal,or how they can afford to buy Xmas presents.
None of them have an ounce of humility or even think what is coming out of their mouths,Qurio was a failure to lure people in to spending more money,normal people don’t need fads or suggestions from tat sellers to enjoy Christmas

 

[merryone]

Anybody who takes notice of any of the tat sellers( including self proclaimed novelists ) about presents on the table,seriously they are here to make you spend more money,in the QVC bubble nobody is poor or wondering about the next meal,or how they can afford to buy Xmas presents.
None of them have an ounce of humility or even think what is coming out of their mouths,Qurio was a failure to lure people in to spending more money,normal people don’t need fads or suggestions from tat sellers to enjoy Christmas

I'm not blaming QVC or any retailer for that matter, somehow these traditions pop up and before you can blink they become widespread. As a profit making organisation they'd be daft to ignore such sales opportunities, it's up to the consumer not to buy into such nonsense. Even if they're not pushing new crazes, they're still selling stuff without a second thought for the less fortunate members of society. Having said this I do think it's wrong of them to bandy round terms like "affordable" ie this is the most affordable item in the hour, the price is on the screen - enough said. "considered purchase", yes I think we can work out whether or not we want to spend £100 on a horse blanket thank you and I'm none too keen on the term "easy pay". I'm not suggesting that they stop the practice as I'm sure it does help people budget, but what's wrong with the term "installments"?

 

[Vienna]

I worked part of every Christmas Day for 13 years, either an early or a late shift depending on the rota. My brother worked many Christmas Days on duty as a fire officer, my oldest son spent many Christmas Days in war zones as a soldier, my middle son works many Christmas Days as a Police Officer and his partner is a Doctor and has worked many Christmases either on duty or on call as is my youngest son who`se on call this Christmas for his job too and his partner who`se a nurse has worked Christmases.
The World doesn`t stop just because it`s Christmas Day and I speak from experience as will probably several of you on here too, that when you arrive home from work on Christmas Day the last thing you`ll think about are table gifts and the only things you want are to be with your family, appreciating all you already have and eating a nice meal and relaxing or having fun.
I spent 5 of those Christmas days alone because my first husband had passed away and my sons were either working or lived too far away to pop over before or after work for a few hours. I just made the best of it, ate whatever I wanted and shared the sofa with a tin of Quality Street after speaking to all 3 sons, their partners, my granddaughters by phone. I missed seeing my granddaughters early Christmases when they believed in Santa and were full of excitement because they lived over 200 miles away and a phonecall was as good as it got back then.
Thankfully nowadays I`m retired and even though my granddaughters are now 15 and 17, I can visit and spend time with them and they still get excited and declare "Nan`s Christmas Bags " which I fill with bits and bobs I collect throughout the year are simply the best !

 

[User 27140]

My mother-in-law does Christmas dinner for whole family. Often there has been 20 or more people there. We used to have a separate table for the grandkids. She is marvellous and used to run a small hotel so used to catering for larger numbers. She uses hostess trolley.
Well, she started table gifts a couple of years ago but they are very small, mini bars of soap, hair grips etc. Glad she doesn’t watch QVC.
My mum died 26 years ago, when I was 33. I am now the age my mum was when she died. I miss her everyday. If you are fortunate to still have your mums, hug them tightly for me. My dad died 7 years ago, so am an orphan. I love my mother-in-law but it is not the same.

 

[Totally Loopy Lou]

I worked part of every Christmas Day for 13 years, either an early or a late shift depending on the rota. My brother worked many Christmas Days on duty as a fire officer, my oldest son spent many Christmas Days in war zones as a soldier, my middle son works many Christmas Days as a Police Officer and his partner is a Doctor and has worked many Christmases either on duty or on call as is my youngest son who`se on call this Christmas for his job too and his partner who`se a nurse has worked Christmases.
The World doesn`t stop just because it`s Christmas Day and I speak from experience as will probably several of you on here too, that when you arrive home from work on Christmas Day the last thing you`ll think about are table gifts and the only things you want are to be with your family, appreciating all you already have and eating a nice meal and relaxing or having fun.
I spent 5 of those Christmas days alone because my first husband had passed away and my sons were either working or lived too far away to pop over before or after work for a few hours. I just made the best of it, ate whatever I wanted and shared the sofa with a tin of Quality Street after speaking to all 3 sons, their partners, my granddaughters by phone. I missed seeing my granddaughters early Christmases when they believed in Santa and were full of excitement because they lived over 200 miles away and a phonecall was as good as it got back then.
Thankfully nowadays I`m retired and even though my granddaughters are now 15 and 17, I can visit and spend time with them and they still get excited and declare "Nan`s Christmas Bags " which I fill with bits and bobs I collect throughout the year are simply the best !

I grew up and am still in a “shifts” family, too…

Mum was sister of an ICU so was usually on an early, bless her.

Dad also medical, brother and uncle police, aunts midwives (and always on call over Christmas) etc etc

[On a tangent, one Christmas, my aunt as on call as usual and we were spending Boxing Day with them

Mid meal she got a call out - lady with severe pains thought she was going into labour…
My aunt rushed to her house to see her, and returned not too long afterwards.
Turned out to be trapped wind caused by eating too much Xmas pudding and the like! ]

Anyway, yes it’s so important to remember those serving or otherwise working on Christmas Day, and over the festive season.

As you say, the world doesn’t stop!

I’ve worked myself at hospital on Xmas day and I have to say I loved it! Nice atmosphere and good to cheer up patients stuck there.
Also volunteered at a homeless shelter which was also good fun…

I would give ANYthing now to be able to do that, or to have poor mum rushing back home from work at 4pm, shattered, and serving up Christmas dinner in her uniform [we did help!]

Because of my illness, I’ve spent most of the past ?15+ Christmases - and New Years - on my own

A couple of times I was well enough to see mum for an hour on the day but not for years.

It’s hard, especially since dad died over Christmas, and all the ads and so on can make you feel even lonelier, but mostly I try not to think about it.

And I am so grateful for many things.
Including the fact I have a nice home, my cat and technology which means I can stay in touch with friends and FaceTime family when I’m up to it.

Makes you realise what a hullabaloo a lot of it all is, but do please cherish time spent with your loved ones and enjoy sharing a meal together… X

PS. Sorry, I’ve done it again and written an essay!

 

[mina]

PS. Sorry, I’ve done it again and written an essay!

 

[stratobuddy]

I grew up and am still in a “shifts” family, too…

Mum was sister of an ICU so was usually on an early, bless her.

Dad also medical, brother and uncle police, aunts midwives (and always on call over Christmas) etc etc

[On a tangent, one Christmas, my aunt as on call as usual and we were spending Boxing Day with them

Mid meal she got a call out - lady with severe pains thought she was going into labour…
My aunt rushed to her house to see her, and returned not too long afterwards.
Turned out to be trapped wind caused by eating too much Xmas pudding and the like! ]

Anyway, yes it’s so important to remember those serving or otherwise working on Christmas Day, and over the festive season.

As you say, the world doesn’t stop!

I’ve worked myself at hospital on Xmas day and I have to say I loved it! Nice atmosphere and good to cheer up patients stuck there.
Also volunteered at a homeless shelter which was also good fun…

I would give ANYthing now to be able to do that, or to have poor mum rushing back home from work at 4pm, shattered, and serving up Christmas dinner in her uniform [we did help!]

Because of my illness, I’ve spent most of the past ?15+ Christmases - and New Years - on my own

A couple of times I was well enough to see mum for an hour on the day but not for years.

It’s hard, especially since dad died over Christmas, and all the ads and so on can make you feel even lonelier, but mostly I try not to think about it.

And I am so grateful for many things.
Including the fact I have a nice home, my cat and technology which means I can stay in touch with friends and FaceTime family when I’m up to it.

Makes you realise what a hullabaloo a lot of it all is, but do please cherish time spent with your loved ones and enjoy sharing a meal together… X

PS. Sorry, I’ve done it again and written an essay!

OH and me were invited to spend xmas with one of her sons and family about 150 miles away (being collected by car).

But I actually preferred to have a quiet xmas on my own and do exactly what I want, rather than fit around 4 others,so she is going without me, the first time apart for xmas for 18 years.

I am looking forward to it, I will even have an Indian takeaway for xmas lunch if they are open

 

[alisonwt]

OH and me were invited to spend xmas with one of her sons and family about 150 miles away (being collected by car).

But I actually preferred to have a quiet xmas on my own and do exactly what I want, rather than fit around 4 others,so she is going without me, the first time apart for xmas for 18 years.

I am looking forward to it, I will even have an Indian takeaway for xmas lunch if they are open

Sounds good to me

 

[madaunty]

OH and me were invited to spend xmas with one of her sons and family about 150 miles away (being collected by car).

But I actually preferred to have a quiet xmas on my own and do exactly what I want, rather than fit around 4 others,so she is going without me, the first time apart for xmas for 18 years.

I am looking forward to it, I will even have an Indian takeaway for xmas lunch if they are open

We went to an Indian restaurant for Christmas lunch 3 years in a row.
Then they were raided by the border control (?) people and that was the end of that. Bloody shame, the food was wonderful.