I'm all ears, well infected ears but you know what i mean.
Spill the beans!!!!!!
Lol
Well LE, the host's mother (L) was really oiled by the time we arrived. She tacked towards me with sails blowing from the starboard side.
Her former daughter-in-law was there (don't ask - I don't know why) and consequently L was like a frog in a blender. There was a lot of whispering in my ear, spraying & spluttering, but fortunately, I didn't hear most of it.
She wouldn't let go of my arm! It took a while to pass her on to someone else.
Host's sister (K) was morose. When someone commented she seemed to flip to fun.
For fun she sprayed people with her disgusting perfume. It was like the perfume you could buy a squirt of, the one they used to used to put in the cinema years ago. Then she insisted everyone should have a sing song. The room cleared quick smart and that didn't go down too well with her. We were all miserable ... apparently.
K later asked my immediate next door neighbour if she'd "dyed your hair that weird colour or was it a c*ck up?"
To above neighbour's husband, "You got no kids then. What, no lead in your pencil lol lol lol"
She told Himself he was too young to retire and if he was lonely during the day she was home.
(I'm trying to encourage him to take up her offer but he says he's too young to die)
She told me I looked "like a 17 year old ... from the back lol, lol, lol" and "put some weight on mun! Men don't like skinny women."
My neighbour told her she had enough for both of us.
She said she'd seen my youngest (21) around. She looked good enough to be a .... pole dancer!!!!
I told her I didn't know it was fancy dress and her Phyllis Diller outfit was a scream. All lost on her of course.
I was quite sad when K's husband took her outside. I was just warming up.
Later I found L&K in the conservatory. I found a bottle of sherry as well. We sat outside & talked for a while and I refilled glasses .... several times.
We left ..... just before midnight. Himself was scared that K would give him a NY slobber.