Random musings and general banter.

[galesgal57]

He gets away with all this on IW (no idea why), but will he be allowed to behave in the same way working as a Brand Ambassador? Is he intending to just turn up on IW3 and still do his act?

He will never be a brand ambassador, like I said before, he will be at IW until he drops. His feet are well and truly under the table. He thinks he is the main main, and is indispensable.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

“IF YOU DON’T HAVE GOOD, THICK HAIR,” says a bald-headed man who clearly hasn’t benefited from the collagen formula’s noted quoted benefits that he is flogging….

 

[Jazzydrury]

Think I’m gonna watch the darts and Big Brother tonight.

Every year, I tell myself I’m not going to watch Big Brother but get invested in it

 

[Jazzydrury]

“IF YOU DON’T HAVE GOOD, THICK HAIR,” says a bald-headed man who clearly hasn’t benefited from the collagen formula’s noted quoted benefits that he is flogging….

Pedro drinks it from the bottle

 

[Muttley]

He will never be a brand ambassador, like I said before, he will be at IW until he drops. His feet are well and truly under the table. He thinks he is the main main, and is indispensable.

Yes, do Brand Ambassadors have walk on music?

 

[Muttley]

Think I’m gonna watch the darts and Big Brother tonight.

Every year, I tell myself I’m not going to watch Big Brother but get invested in it

I'm catching up with podcasts I missed while I was away. Can't watch Big Brother, it annoys me too much

 

[galesgal57]

Yes, do Brand Ambassadors have walk on music?

Definitely not, no false applause either. His ego would never stand it.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Portable grave digger/skull caver iner in charmingly aggressive desert khaki case…Same old regurgitated things you never realised you needed then realised why you didn’t. Basically saying you might never need it, engage your own undertakers, rather than self-bury, but buy it anyway, then send it back in a pristine condition….. Store it in your spare tyre he says. It won’t fit comfortably around my middle…so NO….

 

[RichyR66]

........and here come the air fresheners!!!

 

[Samki]

........and here come the air fresheners!!!

I’m waiting with baited breath for the new Horacio fragrance …not

 

[galesgal57]

Now the cheapo sound bar, and the spiel about being given the gift of feeling music - yawn.

 

[exmothian]

Hmm £89.99 TJC

 

[galesgal57]

Surprised to see it has phono ports, no hdmi or optical. How old is it?

 

[Jazzydrury]

Surprised to see it has phono ports, no hdmi or optical. How old is it?

As old as Pedros underwear

 

[Jazzydrury]

Peter V In a roundabout way saying Cordless Vacs are useless

 

[Jazzydrury]

Mike saying ooh this is good, as you don’t need to wash or change a filter, tomorrow will probably sell one with a Hepa filter and be the best

 

[Jazzydrury]

Peter is rubbishing expensive vacs, the guy really is a prize p rick

 

[Samki]

Peter is rubbishing expensive vacs, the guy really is a prize p rick

Mike said “you need the tight tool for the job” - that’s no way to talk about the tech expert

 

[Duke of Cheese]

An expert in broomsticks now??

 

[Herring]

Now she's bragging about decorating her house for Halloween. She's already had the newspapers asking her about it. The Times, Telegraph? Or, the local Burnley rag? Attention seeking idiot.

It's ringing!!! Be quiet you lot!!
Hello, Burnley Herald news desk. How can I help?
Oh hi, I want to give you a tip off for a juicy big exclusive about a famous TV star…
Sounds interesting, who is it?
Selly Telly Mum…
…I'm not familiar... does this person have a name?
Sally.
…Sally… What?
Jacks, Eurovision winner.
Eurovision winner - that sounds like something readers may be interested in.
Well, she wasn't technically a member of the band when they won Eurovision, only a member of the band formerly known as Bucks Fizz in the 1990s after the other bloke left and wouldn't let them the others use the name. Or was is the other way around? Maybe just describe her as a 'chart-topping pop star' in your article along with 'major TV presenter and social media personality'.
Okay, and what's the 'exclusive' news about?
Halloween. I have an insider who tells me I have—I mean, she has decorated her house for Hallowe'en in the most amazing, expensive, and over the top way. It's unlike anything else. People will be so jealous of me—I mean, her. I did call previously about this... and about her luggage getting disgracefully lost by an incompetent airline in the summer.
We're not seeing the angle, tbh - lots of people decorate for hallowe'en?
Yes, but hers is incredible. Pumpkins carved with her face in them, and all sorts. My insider says it's all bought at RRP, not cheap stuff from pound shops.
Okay…
And Sally is willing to be photographed in front of the house too. As a glamorous celebrity mum with a large social media following, most of her neighbours will come out to cheer which will make a great front-page picture. You could have me—I mean Sally in sunglasses handing out candy to poor kids with dirt on their faces. I've already got a dress—I mean, she's probably got a dress. She's an authority on fashion and doesn't wear anything but designer brands… She has over 100 sunglasses - maybe that could be a followup story? "TV MUM SPENDS MORE MONEY ON SUNGLASSES THAN BURNLEY COUNCIL SPEND IN A YEAR".
I'll pass your ideas to the editor, but he may not be keen. He's focused on a big story about a squeaky gate in the park atm…
*inaudible seething*
*line goes dead*