Random musings and general banter.

[cheeky chappie]

Talking of darts, BBC has a Bullseye special over Christmas. Can’t beat a bit of bully

IN ONE!!!!!!! Do you need a cuppa first thing? Too lazy to get out of bed to make it? Let this teasmade take the strain!
IN TWO!!!!!! Where did I put the TV Times??? Never let that be a question again with this handy magazine rack!
IN THREE!!!! Do your tootsies get cold? Banish those chills forever with this giant heated slipper!

Take your time now lads, take your time.

That's black.
That's black.
BUT THAT'S RED NUMBER FIVE!
Congratulations, that's the six month subscription to Home Manure Maker, you're off lads, you're off!!!

 

[Wanderer]

Note a direct comp - £7.50 - https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/296534105?gQT=1

 

[Wanderer]

Congratulations, that's the six month subscription to Home Manure Maker, you're off lads, you're off!!!

Is that the magazine first published by a Swiss guy called Jacque?

 

[Worldie04]

I thought shopping channels like QVC, use express delivery, this time of year why can’t IW

We tried it quite a few years ago (2010ish I seem to remember) and I think we ended up pissing off more customers than we satisfied. So, we stopped. That and the company was drowning again.

 

[Jazzydrury]

We tried it quite a few years ago (2010ish I seem to remember) and I think we ended up pissing off more customers than we satisfied. So, we stopped. That and the company was drowning again.

Thanks

 

[HughTwo]

Of-the-Masons has a special at 9pm for anyone who missed out on Gammon "when it sold out".

Sold? They can't give it away.
Gammon are no more, they are an ex-Gammon

 

[Wanderer]

Clothes dryer - Sold out two weeks ago says Mike, funny Pedro had them just a few days ago or was a that different SKU?

 

[Muttley]

Can't guarantee Christmas delivery Mike. If someone bought me that window cleaning brush as a present, they would get it shoved right up their arse, bristles first. Merry Christmas you bald, beautiful fella

I would shove it up there sideways, that would make their eyes water

 

[galesgal57]

I would shove it up there sideways, that would make their eyes water

Ooh I say!

 

[Scraping the barrel]

It’s not only those dryers full of hot air you bald buffoon

 

[Scraping the barrel]

He could make this very ‘watchable’ if he had the sense to write Aston Villa on that claret and blue board behind him… sorry,just thinking out loud

 

[SiRich]

I mean seriously, how the heck are you going to put a few bath towels in there like you can in a tumble dryer or on a heater airer.

Another bull-shtye pitch

 

[Scraping the barrel]

Now,I really wanna text in and ask him what happens to all the moisture from that hot air thingy…but I daren”t jus in case he says’I’ve got just the thing for that’

 

[Scraping the barrel]

Of-the-Masons has a special at 9pm for anyone who missed out on Gammon "when it sold out".

Sold? They can't give it away.
Gammon are no more, they are an ex-Gammon

What? They’ve got some more? Wow?
I’ve been getting all mine from Trevor of the Cotswolds! Ripping me off he was. A bit of a Gammon Baron in his manor.
Up yours Trevor,my friend Mike is on the case. Christmas sorted!!

 

[Scraping the barrel]

Nice pair of pouffes,but what are they selling?

 

[Francy19]

No Masonic Mike, that toothbrush won’t clean between your teeth. You were selling a water flossed the other day to do precisely that so why claim a toothbrush can do it. You numpty

 

[Francy19]

This is certified as incredible. What the f*ck’s that supposed to mean mikey boy??? Billy bulltsh*tter

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Captain Knowles on duty. Captain, do you know, the camera that you are assisting to sell is for sale for £34.99 with a 20% further reduction on Amazon as you are speaking about your £39.99 military clearance price being so wonderful? Captain, gather the men and Colour Sergeant Simon. In front rank, middle rank and rear rank order. Keep drummer boy Mason by your side. Do you know he feels music, Captain? You must deal with this threat from the Amazon warriors immediately. Now ask drummer boy Mason to reach for his trumpet. Tell him to spit boy, spit. Prepare the men for retail battle. Trolley Fire, Captain. I know you only came here to sell a fridge...

 

[Francy19]

Quincy ?? Who the medical guy

 

[Wanderer]

Quincy ?? Who the medical guy

Cue the music...