Random musings and general banter.

[Lord Helpus]

Water coming in contact with the electrical wiring, causing a short circuit and fire.

Cook Nutty is a dangerous ***** but who will notice another madman in an asylum? Not the kids in the playroom for sure.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Charley could have thrown a box of Iceland frozen peas over it.

 

[Hammy60]

New products being launched next week on IW, a must have accompliment for any home buying IW Kitchen appliances.



Mark has already been testing the blanket at home for the past week.

 

[Lord Helpus]

What a shyster outfit this channel really is. Toaster being sold for £59.99, same item shown as selling on manufacturer’s website as £99.99. A split-second ‘Google’ of the item reveals it’s on sale all over the web for around £29.99. FFS!
And why does this Jeremy guy keep SHOUTING?! Both he and Sally Jacks constantly make their cheapo-quality microphones distort with their shrieking

He is an angry man. His attitude is: I'm stuck on here selling this crap and the least you lot (the audience) can do is buy it.

 

[Slipalong Trevaskis]

He only needed to turn it off at the socket and place a metal lid or baking tray over the flames.

 

[headintheclouds]

It truly is ‘Calamity TV’. I’ve said it before but it really is like a parody channel…and I find myself (embarrassingly) drawn to it. There must be name for repeatedly subjecting yourself to something that drives you nuts?!

 

[Lord Helpus]

He only needed to turn it off at the socket and place a metal lid or baking sheet over the flames.

He was like Corporal Jones when he spotted a real German.

 

[headintheclouds]

…and right on cue, I look to the screen to see Kumquat-maddy () skincare being advertised with glaring typos - ‘recipie’ and ‘benifits ’.

Give me strength!

 

[Lord Helpus]

Nice to see that the tower fans which were flying out last night have landed safely back in the studio. They must be homing fans.

Jezza selling these cooling devices on a cold day but assuring us a heatwave is on the way very soon. Oh and he adds that these cooling fans can actually heat your room by recycling the warmer air on the ceiling down to the floor. Fantastic!

I've noticed before that IW3 presenters are experts on air, how it circulates around your room, how to turn bad air into good air and how to turn words into hot air. They do it all the time.

 

[Lord Helpus]

Now Jezza is sitting on his magic carpets, he expects them to fly out....

 

[Lord Helpus]

Scaremongering on having your Range Rover stolen via RFID. I suspect most of their viewing base don’t own one.

True. Most have probably bought second hand Skodas from Mike "The Trader you can Trust" Mason.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Edwards has the gravitas of a custard slice. He makes Simon Peters seem like Alan Whicker.

 

[Samki]

True. Most have probably bought second hand Skodas from Mike "The Trader you can Trust" Mason.

Trader you can trust Class

 

[Latearrival]

He love the bench jacket he’s been wearing today it’s a perfect fit and soooo comfortable.
Looking at it on him I garentee he couldn’t zip it up if his life depended on it

 

[Duke of Cheese]

I think he'd struggle to find his way to the bogs, let alone unzip anything.

 

[galesgal57]

According to the schedules, Pedro is back tomorrow morning at 10.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Like recurring diarrhoea.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Himself?? HIMSELF??? Put that DEE DOO DEE DOO DEE DOO stick down for a moment and get to the VCR… Would you believe my ears at this? I tort youze were the station eejit, but I put youze on far too high a pedestal..Look at this Blarney Stone kisser last night..Sure to be uncertain he’s gone and poured cold water inside an electric barbecue to stop the der borgers from drying out…Oh he kept them moist, alright…As the whole studio wet themselves as der bloody thing nearly fried dem all…Not even yourself would pour water into a live electrical unit, would yerze now? Mother of God, will yer answer me and stop fiddling with that pillow you are showcasing again tonight…Get off dat now and read that instruction sheet for the Amstrad cordless telephone unit you are going to be an expert on..

 

[Lord Helpus]

it's 'erself flahggin sahme nice trousers dat'll do you fahr de soehmmer. dey're vescahse you know in de grey ahr de blue.

 

[Dr Quincy MkII]

Jezza under the impression that nobody knows that the numbers on a toaster are for minutes, Mark the professional didn't know which is not a surprise. Oh he's getting to use the toaster & kettle, fire extinguisher better be ready.

a trained chef would not have poured water on fat on an electric grill