Random musings and general banter.

[Lord Helpus]

Yeah rizzlers. Roll your own. No filter tip. Men were men.

Oh and now he's flogging a find sumfing stick with a light on the end. Brilliant. Fanks Mike you're a pal. A diamond geezer.

Only problem is... what if you lose the find sumfing stick?

Suppose you could buy two, just in case you lose one and need to find it.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

He is selling the kind of stuff that makes you realise why you never wanted to realise that you didn’t realise you didn't have it in the first place. Next? A Badass Fan Heater? Glasses on..Oh…Bladeless…

 

[Lord Helpus]

My word.

Mike is flogging bladeless 'eaters wiv their own radar tower on top to detect incoming missiles.

What will they fink of next?

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Item after item, after item that he is trying to tell me and others that we desperately need. But you just sit there and continue not to need it. Keep going, Mikey…One day you’ll persuade me.. Probably when I have returned as an 8-Track player.

 

[Lord Helpus]

Blimey this 'ere 'eater has got a built-in dvd as well. Amazing.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Kacks and Mason use this ‘In the Business’ term on a regular basis with this version. They never said that, though, with the rattan sets on the last one…Not in the Business….Not nowhere..

 

[Lord Helpus]

Now Mike's gone mad.

This 'ere 'eater is not £400 (which it would sell out at all day long until they sell out)

Not free 'undred.

To you...

£289.99.

Not bad for your own, indoor radar tower.

 

[Jazzydrury]

Isn’t it a cheapo nasty version of the Dyson one

 

[Lord Helpus]

The old 'your 'ouse is filfy' scam.

Dogs hairs, dead skin, elligens(?) Bits out of ya beard.

All will be banished with zis ingenious device.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

I ain’t claimin’ no claims..I ain’t exzakserbatin’ nuffink..My Demis Roussos DVD ain’t suckin’ up the bleedin’ dander…I don’t want to get too clever wiv yer…Don’t Worry…You won’t.

I’ll keep the filfee dirtee dander, Mate. Better than that revolving monstrosity in my living room. That’s no way to speak about Simon Walters…

 

[Hammy60]

Item after item, after item that he is trying to tell me and others that we desperately need. But you just sit there and continue not to need it. Keep going, Mikey…One day you’ll persuade me.. Probably when I have returned as an 8-Track player.

Things is we did need them at one time, but as all these items/alternative brands have been on the market for many years many of us already have those desperately needed items. Like IW is 20 years too late.

 

[Lord Helpus]

I ain’t claimin’ no claims..I ain’t exzakserbatin’ nuffink..My Demis Roussos DVD ain’t suckin’ up the bleedin’ dander…I don’t want to get too clever wiv yer…Don’t Worry…You won’t.

I’ll keep the filfee dirtee dander, Mate. Better than that revolving monstrosity in my living room. That’s no way to speak about Simon Walters…

Nah Demis don't work in this model. His warblings make it oscillate.

Try Richard Clayderman instead. Or James Last.

 

[Hammy60]

Blimey this 'ere 'eater has got a built-in dvd as well. Amazing.

Does it make a cuppa?

 

[Lord Helpus]

Does it make a cuppa?

Well, he didn't say it doesn't make tea.

It picks up Radio Luxembourg for sure.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Please…Please…Please don’t say ‘In the Business’ any further this evening..

 

[Lord Helpus]

Actually, it makes a nice Hepa tea.

 

[Lord Helpus]

We're onto bedding now.

What's double or king?

I've heard of double or quits.

Barbara Cartland would have loved these bedspreads. Ideal if Dickie Mountbatten came to stay.

 

[Lord Helpus]

Please…Please…Please don’t say ‘In the Business’ any further this evening..

'E knows people what know people what knows fings we don't know you know.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Useful multipurpose storage for the Servants Quarters in Upstairs Downstairs…For wrapping devilled kidneys and coddled eggs in. Congratulations to Mrs..Bridges…Edward..Ruby…Mr..’Udson…Rose…

 

[Lord Helpus]

Old Laura Ashley stock, kept in a dusty warehouse since the 80s.

Nice.