Pipa and her spa experience

[galaxy]

Pipa is blogging about her less than enjoyable spa experience she had, recently. I am putting up a link of the full version to her own blog, rather than the one on Q which has been edited a bit: http://theraphaelproject.com/spaghettiwombers/?p=619. It's interesting what Lorraine (former guest presenter for SBC) also comments on her blog. What do you think of it?

I have to say that I have only been to a spa handful of times having a facial. Last time I went I felt really run down after a dreadful cold and plucked up a courage to have a head and shoulders massage (really wanted a full body massage but felt too embarrassed to strip down in front of a stranger, all be it a female one!). Anyway, I didn't end up with a boob massage as Pipa did, but I did have the misfortune to get crushed (or was it massaged:sweat by 'sumo wrestler would tremble in fear' massage therapist! OMG she was breaking my bones, you should have seen her muscly arms:mysmilie_466:! I did ask her if she could please apply less pressure, but that didn't help much. I gritted my teeth all throughout and couldn't wait for the ordeal to finish. What I hoped to be a nice relaxing pick me up massage, turned out to be a very painful and scary memory. All I can say is never again and thank goodness for arnica gel!

 

[Nicky-j]

I read Pipa's blog a while back and, while my spa experience was slightly less painful, I still found that my fear of looking like a wimp made me agree to things I might not normally have agreed to! I wish Lorraine could have her own spa - particularly if it was in my home town - how fantastic it would be!

 

[Mrs James]

a spa break is my idea of hell

 

[OscarFelixJake]

a spa break is my idea of hell

Me too - My sisters wanted the three of us to go a few years back as a treat for my 40th. I think the snort and the laugh gave it away. I'd pay to Not go.
I love having the decleor and elemis products at home to try but I'm very British in my "don't come too close" attitude and I really, really don't want to be pummled or prodded by a complete stranger.
Mind you if Brad Pitt or George Cloony changed careers to be masseurs, I might be pursuaded.

 

[mediastar]

I went to a day spa in Birmingham once and it could not have been different, wonderful, really relaxing; kind young therapist (as in under 30 LOL). I would love to do it again and again, if I had the money. I hope my experience when I go to Skegness will be equally good. I have no problem with having someone massage me, or give me a treatment, such as chiropractic, so long as it is good I love it. I would have complained about someone being overly enthusiastic as a massage therapist, it's your money, you should have got the treatment you wanted/expected. So sorry you didn't enjoy it!

 

[rainbowdottie]

a spa break is my idea of hell

mine too:mysmilie_497:

 

[beauty junkie]

OMG it sounds just like my experience with a Decleor therapist named........AMY!!!!!!! I went for a facial and she told me to 'strip to my nik naks' I could have died with embarrassment she didn't actually get as low as my nipples but not far off I can tell you. After 90 minutes of pummeling/massage I felt like I had been done over by a sumo wrestler, and the weight of the 'hot,relaxing towels' felt like being burried under a sand dune. All this for a treat on my Birthday!

 

[Silver Fox]

I once went for a complete body scrub down & massage with a friend & the only way they could fit us in was if we shared a room.We were both lying there covered with white sheets like something from Prime Suspect. It took the greatest of retraint not to laugh all the way through.All I could here was my friend sniggering.There was a large bath in the room, our faces when we walked in were a picture.We showered afterwards,( independently!!!) it was all very discreet!!!

 

[Ilovelulu]

I once got a massage when I was in Cuba, it was a freebie so I thought why not, esp as I had seen that it was a woman doing it!

Well you can imagine my shock when I go down to the beach and see this huge hairy South American man waiting for me, luckily BF was there otherwise I might have ran away screaming.

Anyway I went through with it, torture to say the least, I was mortifed and wishing it over, also ended up more of a scrub rather than massage due to the sand! ended up hurrying back to my room for a shower then to the bar for a large vody to drown the memory of it! lol

 

[BusyMum]

I laughed at Pipa's blog and all your posts...I always fancied a massage and a few years ago my daughter treated me to a back massage for a birthday - I do wish I could say I enjoyed it but I didn't...embarrassment, pain...where was this total relaxation I had been hoping for! And you lie there and daren't groan, grunt or complain..and are paying for the "pleasure"! Ditto with a chiropracter I had to visit a few times with my poorly shoulders...she applied so much pressure I had to take one poorly and very painful boob to see the doc as I thought she'd damaged me pressing me into the couch! Thankfully I was told no damage other than obviously being badly bruised - and that little lot cost about £200 in all!

 

[Catkins]

You won't catch me lying on a bed in a pair of paper knickers mate not even if Denis from Ojon was doing the massage!!! :blush::grin:

 

[Almerinda]

My very first massage was very embarassing but also very pleasurable. My husband had been going on about how I would enjoy a massage and how relaxing it would be etc. etc. so I eventually agreed.
Anyway, I trotted down to the treatment room in my bra, pants and fluffy dressing gown to be met by a very handsome man from somewhere in South America (tall, slender, black, good looking, corn plaits, cute accent - get my drift!!!) Anyway, the treatment room was lit by candles, there was incense and music and Javier handed me a teeny, tiny paper thong and asked me to lay face down on the massage bed. In the thong. Which was literally a piece of thread from the back you understand. Anyway he asked me a few questions and then busied himself making a mixture of essential oils mixed with spices (it was an ayurveydic massage) and proceeded to slather me with the mixure and massage me all over with it. It was lovely BUT I was mega embarassed and had to fight to stop myself from laughing like a loon. I was also very cross with myself for being so childish when he was clearly a professional and I was a grown-up woman of 40 plus. Then, after about half an hour of torture/bliss he asked me to turn over which I did. Again, I am there, my boobs to the wind, wearing this paper thong which was essentially a very small rectangle of wafer thin tissue paper. Anyway, he starts to massage my legs and in the process runs his hands over the front of my hips and as he was doing this his hands were obviously passing over the bits of string that held the thong together. As a consequence, as he was smoothing down towards my knees and back again, the threads turned over and over taking the paper with them like a bliddy roller blind, revealing and then hiding my (thankfully) neatly trimmed fandango.
Now don't get me wrong, the massage was lovely and Javier's bahaviour was very, very, correct BUT it was a bit of a shock for me, it beng the first time and all.
I don't think that I have ever been so embarassed in my whole life BUT I have never had another massage like it and my skin was glowing and beautiful for days afterwards.

 

[jo106]

Last weekend, I had a spa peel. This is essentially a hardcore exfoliation all over.

It was a good treatments as I'm not the best at exfoliating. However, she asked the immortal question "would you like me to do your breasts?" Do you say yes and risk sounding a bit pervy? Say no and sound like a prude or do you turn the tables and say 'if you want to'. Or do you do what I did and mumble something and let them guess whether or not you said yes.

Let's just say my small bosom area is now polished to perfection.

 

[galaxy]

My very first massage was very embarassing but also very pleasurable. My husband had been going on about how I would enjoy a massage and how relaxing it would be etc. etc. so I eventually agreed.
Anyway, I trotted down to the treatment room in my bra, pants and fluffy dressing gown to be met by a very handsome man from somewhere in South America (tall, slender, black, good looking, corn plaits, cute accent - get my drift!!!) Anyway, the treatment room was lit by candles, there was incense and music and Javier handed me a teeny, tiny paper thong and asked me to lay face down on the massage bed. In the thong. Which was literally a piece of thread from the back you understand. Anyway he asked me a few questions and then busied himself making a mixture of essential oils mixed with spices (it was an ayurveydic massage) and proceeded to slather me with the mixure and massage me all over with it. It was lovely BUT I was mega embarassed and had to fight to stop myself from laughing like a loon. I was also very cross with myself for being so childish when he was clearly a professional and I was a grown-up woman of 40 plus. Then, after about half an hour of torture/bliss he asked me to turn over which I did. Again, I am there, my boobs to the wind, wearing this paper thong which was essentially a very small rectangle of wafer thin tissue paper. Anyway, he starts to massage my legs and in the process runs his hands over the front of my hips and as he was doing this his hands were obviously passing over the bits of string that held the thong together. As a consequence, as he was smoothing down towards my knees and back again, the threads turned over and over taking the paper with them like a bliddy roller blind, revealing and then hiding my (thankfully) neatly trimmed fandango.
Now don't get me wrong, the massage was lovely and Javier's bahaviour was very, very, correct BUT it was a bit of a shock for me, it beng the first time and all.
I don't think that I have ever been so embarassed in my whole life BUT I have never had another massage like it and my skin was glowing and beautiful for days afterwards.

:mysmilie_483::mysmilie_483::mysmilie_483:
Almerinda, you really had me in stitches LOL! Hats off, your spa experience scoops the prize, IMO. I've got to say though, although I felt for your embarrassment, you are one lucky, lucky, lucky...lady!:mysmilie_851:

 

[Almerinda]

:mysmilie_483::mysmilie_483::mysmilie_483:
Almerinda, you really had me in stitches LOL! Hats off, your spa experience scoops the prize, IMO. I've got to say though, although I felt for your embarrassment, you are one lucky, lucky, lucky...lady!:mysmilie_851:

Pleased that my story made you laugh!!

:heart:

 

[galaxy]

Pleased that my story made you laugh!!

:heart:

:wave:Just wanted to clarify that I meant the previous comment in a nicest possible way. Hope no offence was taken :flower:

 

[Almerinda]

:wave:Just wanted to clarify that I meant the previous comment in a nicest possible way. Hope no offence was taken :flower:

No offense taken at all!!

In fact I wish that I could tell you about in person over a cup of tea because, with the aid of a very, very small paper napkin, it really is a very funny story.

:grin: