dear auntie frazzled, all my other aunties :mysmilie_482:– and meg :heart:
mama said i had to tell you my news :dull: she told me yesterday but by the time we got home and i had to spend a good hour washing that
smell off
uke:, i was too tired so i had a kip in my den in her wardrobe instead :sleepy:
anyway, she took me to the place that smells funny :sad: at least it was my uncle james, not that load of torturers at the other place. first thing he did was weigh me and i’ve put on a kilo!!:grin: mama was so thrilled she said i had to tell you. uncle james however was tutting about how i musn’t put any more on. there’s just no pleasing some people :dull: i tried to tell him, if he’d let me go outside, i could run some of it off :mysmilie_490:
main thing is, i’m back to my fighting weight :muscle: i can’t wait to show that lookalike next door who’s boss :mysmilie_62: two nights in a row he’s been sitting in MY back garden bold as brass, 3am yesterday and 2am the day before. he even makes sure the outside light comes on so he can really gloat. i postured on the window sill next to mama’s bed and swore at him for a whole hour both times :mysmilie_455: mama was sooo ungrateful about me protecting our property – i think she might have sworn at
me! she certainly did a lot of grumbling.
after he’d weighed me and looked at that thing the torturer put in my neck, uncle james tortured me himself. he took me away from mama and stuck two HUGE needles in me!
he took GALLONS of my precious blood! when he took me back to mama she looked all worried and he told her he’d managed to do it without any bloodshed – wasn’t for want of trying i can tell you! i put up a real fight! and what about MY blood? fair’s fair i say and he doesn’t fight fair, gets an accomplice to hold me down. AND he gave me a bruise – a blemish on my perfection. gave mama some lame excuse about it being a delicate vein or something. goodness knows what he’s going to do with it all unless he’s using my dna to breed a perfect kitty in that abbatoir he calls a laboratory :thinking:
so anyway, since i’ve been home from hospital, i’ve put on 1.6 kilos. i hope that means my tummy’s better and i can go out soon :nod: i’ve got my claws all sharpened up and ready on the sofa and i can’t wait to get a nice juicy mouse instead of that pap she keeps giving me. meanwhile. i’m off for another nap :mysmilie_496:
love, louis :mysmilie_484: