Jewellery speak!

[merryone]

I just LOVE shopping channel "jewellery speak"


If the item is big and expensive.......then you OWN it

If the item is big and expensive.....it is EXQUISITE

If the item is big and expensive.....(sit ups) play Clair de Lune

If the item is big and expensive.....You buy INTO it


If the item is small, cheap and flimsy......it's ideal for a child's first piece of "real jewellery"

If the item is small, cheap and flimsy.....you can wear it instead of your real jewellery

If the item is small cheap and flimsy.... it's AFFORDABLE

If the item is small cheap and flimsy....you should buy more than one...(what they don't mention is the reason for this is that the item will break after a week.)


If the item is big and chunky...it's a STATEMENT piece

If the item is small and flimsy...it's UNDERSTATED elegance!

Any more folks?

 

[craftybel]

if it is small and flimsy.......It is a stocking filler
if it is small and flimsy........you have a 30 day mbg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[iclaudipuss]

"If this was a real diamond you would have to pay thousands for it..."

Yeah, but it isn't, is it, you dozy twonk, it's a bit of diamoneeeeek, and it's still too ****** expensive.

Bah humbug!

 

[frou-frou]

If its cheap and flimsy and diamoneek... people will ask you or presume it's real!!!

Do I look like I can afford a £20k diamond solitaire!!!?? And even if I could I probably wouldnt!!

 

[merryone]

How could I forget this little "gem"?

"I showed this to a professional jeweller....and they couldn't tell it was diamoneek!"


The other night Jilly Halliday was suggesting that an £18 sterling silver diamoneek ring would be an ideal "engagement ring" for a couple who were perhaps a bit short of money a this time of the year! , or to use as an interim whilst you save up for the real thing!....er no I don't think so. Picture the scene.... fella gets down on one knee, asks his beloved to marry him, then hands her over that tell tale turquoise box with a white bow.....she opens it to see a enormous "diamond"...she removes it from the box and sees three initials engraved inside...her initials? I.L.Y?....nah QVC! Here endeth the romance of the moment as he explains that this 1 carat diamoneek delight cost less than a take away curry, but he'll save up to get the real thing which might take up to a year working nights..and most days to come to think of it!