I wish I knew the names - - - - - - >

[Weathergirl]

No, but I think everyone knows what lit the touchpaper

 

[Oliver]

Allow me to state a few facts.

The other "forum" is a Facebook group called Hot Cakes And Eek. Don't bother to go looking for it, it was recently changed from a closed group to a secret group. If they want you to be a member you'll be invited.
I was a member up until a couple of weeks ago, I left of my own accord after a ding dong about what I considered to be unacceptable behaviour.
The group consists of members from ST.com including some who have left us recently.
Several ST.com members were in the group but are no longer.
Graham told me he was a member of the FB group briefly when it first started. What he has told me is that he left after a day. For Sazza to keep naming him as if it has his ongoing "approval" is misleading.
What I personally saw going on there included what i considered to be obsessive discussion about ST.com and some of its members, especially some who they seemed to have a grudge against.
Other discussions took place which were totally unrelated to ST.com.
However there was a continual reportage of what was being posted here, including what i considered to be mocking discussion about the state of mind of the people involved.
People who left the FB group were discussed negatively.
People on ST.com were discussed in terms of their suitability to be invited to join the FB group.
Members of the FB group were told they could be removed if they did not post.
Members of the FB group were asked to disclose their ST.com forum names and a list of "translations" was published.
The "read post" FB function was switched on, this showed which group members had read each post. People who read but did not post were discussed.
The whole ethos of the FB group is that it is private so people can talk about what they liked. This would be ok except that it overlooked the fact that I was reading it and was disgusted.

I left about 2 weeks ago so cannot speak for what's been happening since then.

Why dont the people that are part of this group address these things that BB has said? would be helpful to people that didnt even no about this group in the first place , by glossing over this kinda makes me think everyone Bb is true?

 

[lynnonthelake]

Are we to be afraid to post on here in case it upsets some sensitive soul.

 

[stratobuddy]

I've just heard a statement on Newsnight - - -

"Many half-truths added together often never arrive at the actual truth".

It seems that this thread has developed into lots of half-truths and people drawing the wrong conclusions.

 

[SparklyBarbs]

Why dont the people that are part of this group address these things that BB has said? would be helpful to people that didnt even no about this group in the first place , by glossing over this kinda makes me think everyone Bb is true?

I was wondering why they weren't all rushing to dismiss BurlyB thread, in fact hardly anyone has mentioned it, which is suprising in itself, as its very damming but all true

 

[janie]

Why dont the people that are part of this group address these things that BB has said? would be helpful to people that didnt even no about this group in the first place , by glossing over this kinda makes me think everyone Bb is true?

because the only way they can address it is to admit to it. as i said in another post - bb's explanation is spot on.

 

[Bookworm]

I can't say that I fully understand what is going on - too many hints and insinuations for me but it is gettting boring! I joined this forum for some light relief, chat about products and heads up on tsvs etc. I've spent all day dealing with squabbles between 6 year olds and don't want the same kind of ridiculous arguments in the evening. I worry that people will stop using the forum soon as it is becoming depressing and repetitive. Sorry if I have offended anybody but I needed to get it off my chest!
By the way I sorted out the arguments at school with the promise of a sticker if they made friends - can't see that working on here though!

 

[Tiddlywinks]

"they"? don't you mean "we", as you seem to be in full agreement with what that group does? You say Tristar has "issues", I said that last week and someone picked up on it and implied that I shouldn't have said it, as tho it was an insult. To me he seems very vulnerable and I can no more walk by on the other side than I can fly in the air - I hate the bullying behaviour that he's been subjected to on here.

I comment on posts where I feel the poster may have got the wrong end of the stick... I try to make it as factual as possible rather than giving an emotional response.

Tristar posts about his emotions and those are about his perceptions - you (nor I) can possibly know how another person feels about an event... we only use our experience to guess how the other person might be feeling.

I will now talk generically as I do not think it appropriate to discuss something so personal about another member without him / her being involved...

Most of us react in a certain way because of our past experiences. If we are at a point in our lives where we are experiencing difficulties then we will focus on certain issues and may magnify them in a negative way.

Sometimes we need support in 'reality checking' our assumptions... is that guy really staring at me? Is everyone really talking about me? Does everyone really hate me? etc etc

Sometimes we need an unbiased voice to tell us that we are not seeing things the way they really are... and encouraged to explore certain other 'realities'.

Just saying 'there, there... yes they are bad people' is not providing support at all... it is reinforcing negative thoughts, feelings etc and not actually helping...

How do I know this? It is part of what I do for a living... I try to assist people to move from seeing things in a negative way to seeing that there are many ways to view a set of events or comments in a conversation. We don't always get the message as it was intended and that is life sometimes.

Please, I'm not having a pop, I just see this through different eyes.

 

[Weathergirl]

As I am not on FB I am basing my views squarely on what I have read on here. I don't care about what happens on facebook, just as I don 't care what is said on a forum about trainspotting.

 

[DebraJane]

I can't say that I fully understand what is going on - too many hints and insinuations for me but it is gettting boring! I joined this forum for some light relief, chat about products and heads up on tsvs etc. I've spent all day dealing with squabbles between 6 year olds and don't want the same kind of ridiculous arguments in the evening. I worry that people will stop using the forum soon as it is becoming depressing and repetitive. Sorry if I have offended anybody but I needed to get it off my chest!
By the way I sorted out the arguments at school with the promise of a sticker if they made friends - can't see that working on here though!

I think you should give it a go bookworm unless anyone knows where we can obtain some tolerance by the bucket load lol

 

[lynnonthelake]

This whole thing seems to be about one member being bullied,

 

[Nikki]

It isn't only One post.[/QUOTE
How ever many posts Tri has done does it really matter?? I mean REALLY?? The totally crazy irony about this is that he'd probably be the 1st to say that he can "vent his passion" about things on Q, that's one of the reasons why forums are interesting. Different people, different opinions. The threads 2nite didn't start in the same vein as the ones last weekend. I've no idea how they escalated but can we get back to what we're on here for please?

I'm recalling my 1st convo about Lulu being posh & someone saying inagine her with her pj's on, shouting at the telly drinking tenants larger, it was funny, no more than stuff to make this forum amusing, friendly, tongue in cheek at times and informative.

 

[stratobuddy]

Can I have a sticker please, bookworm?

 

[Bookworm]

Of course you can have a sticker strato!

 

[DebraJane]

This whole thing seems to be about one member being bullied,

I think the important point here Lynn is that it really only needs to be one person who feels bullied for it to be an issue.

 

[BusyMum]

I was wondering why they weren't all rushing to dismiss BurlyB thread, in fact hardly anyone has mentioned it, which is suprising in itself, as its very damming but all true

in fact some have been quite conspicuous by their absence have they not?

 

[Oliver]

I guess wot i asked has been answered as its been ignored lol

 

[BusyMum]

I comment on posts where I feel the poster may have got the wrong end of the stick... I try to make it as factual as possible rather than giving an emotional response.

Tristar posts about his emotions and those are about his perceptions - you (nor I) can possibly know how another person feels about an event... we only use our experience to guess how the other person might be feeling.

I will now talk generically as I do not think it appropriate to discuss something so personal about another member without him / her being involved...

Most of us react in a certain way because of our past experiences. If we are at a point in our lives where we are experiencing difficulties then we will focus on certain issues and may magnify them in a negative way.

Sometimes we need support in 'reality checking' our assumptions... is that guy really staring at me? Is everyone really talking about me? Does everyone really hate me? etc etc

Sometimes we need an unbiased voice to tell us that we are not seeing things the way they really are... and encouraged to explore certain other 'realities'.

Just saying 'there, there... yes they are bad people' is not providing support at all... it is reinforcing negative thoughts, feelings etc and not actually helping...

How do I know this? It is part of what I do for a living... I try to get people to move from seeing things in a negative way to seeing that there are many ways to view a set of events or comments in a conversation. We don't always get the message as it was intended and that is life sometimes.

Please, I'm not having a pop, I just see this through different eyes.

thank you for the lecture tiddly..perhaps YOU could try helping Tristar then as you'd obviously do it far better than I can?

 

[lynnonthelake]

Some one show me a post where Tristar has been bullied,

 

[Weathergirl]

Can't comment Oliver as I was not on FB, and I think that would be a prerequisite to comment.