Chloe Rumours

[shopperholic]

Flint is probably always on the lookout for inspiration for her next novel which will run something like:

Secrets of a Bag Lady

Brenda parked her car erratically on the driveway. "Bollocks!" she exclaimed to herself, as she'd forgotten to open the rear hatch by depressing the tiny little lever beside the handbrake. Opening the hatch with a key always seemed such an ordeal. She turned the key with an indignant flick of her wrist and listened to the distinctive "glissando" sound of the car's hatch door open. She took out all six Asda carrier bags and held them all in one hand as she shut the hatch with the other. She stumbled to the front door, wincing in pain from the carrier bags handles cutting into her hands, turning her knuckles white. She knew her husband Nick would not be pleased at her having forgotten the shopper bags he'd bought from the television shopping channel. Now she'd had to spend 36p extra. The question was how would Nick take it. The bruises from last time had only just faded. Brenda flung the bags on the kitchen table and sat down, exhausted. She took out a jar of Mellow Birds coffee with chicory and switched the kettle on. As she slunk back in her chair she felt a tickling sensation in her ankle. It was the tail of her silver tabby kitten, mewing hungrily. Brenda opened a sachet of "Cupboard Love" cat food pellets and dispensed them lovingly into the dish. The kitten immediately set to devouring them. The smell of chicory pervaded the kitchen and Brenda felt the warm steam rising from the cup somewhat comforting. She half smiled as she watched the kitten eating, and at the same time noticed an envelope on the doormat. It was addressed to her. She tore it open and began to read, her jaw dropping in surprise.

Wow! Whoever said Flinty was a crap writer and her books would send a glass eye to sleep they're that boring............was ab...so...lute...ly right!

 

[AndiK]

Flint is probably always on the lookout for inspiration for her next novel which will run something like:

Secrets of a Bag Lady

Brenda parked her car erratically on the driveway. "Bollocks!" she exclaimed to herself, as she'd forgotten to open the rear hatch by depressing the tiny little lever beside the handbrake. Opening the hatch with a key always seemed such an ordeal. She turned the key with an indignant flick of her wrist and listened to the distinctive "glissando" sound of the car's hatch door open. She took out all six Asda carrier bags and held them all in one hand as she shut the hatch with the other. She stumbled to the front door, wincing in pain from the carrier bags handles cutting into her hands, turning her knuckles white. She knew her husband Nick would not be pleased at her having forgotten the shopper bags he'd bought from the television shopping channel. Now she'd had to spend 36p extra. The question was how would Nick take it. The bruises from last time had only just faded. Brenda flung the bags on the kitchen table and sat down, exhausted. She took out a jar of Mellow Birds coffee with chicory and switched the kettle on. As she slunk back in her chair she felt a tickling sensation in her ankle. It was the tail of her silver tabby kitten, mewing hungrily. Brenda opened a sachet of "Cupboard Love" cat food pellets and dispensed them lovingly into the dish. The kitten immediately set to devouring them. The smell of chicory pervaded the kitchen and Brenda felt the warm steam rising from the cup somewhat comforting. She half smiled as she watched the kitten eating, and at the same time noticed an envelope on the doormat. It was addressed to her. She tore it open and began to read, her jaw dropping in surprise.

Ha ha! You are completely mad!

 

[candycane]

I'm not offended by anything Chloe says but I just can't stand her (what I think is false) over exuberance and hyper jolliness and her wink wink nonsense. I just turn her off whatever she's selling. I admit I'm probably a miserable old cow but for me two seconds of her guff is two seconds too much.

CC

 

[shopperholic]

No CC I'm not offended by her nudge nudge, wink wink innuendo either, I just don't see where it's appropriate for a shopping channel. I only catch her if I'm channel hopping........two seconds? I applauded you.

 

[thatu]

Julius, you've got it all wrong. Where are the graphic descriptions of physical attributes and their uses? I should know because I'm an expert - I managed to read 3 pages of one novel, bought at a charity shop. It's now working hard for its money at another charity shop so well done DBF working hard to ensure that all charities receive fair and honest treatment as usual.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Anyone is better than the god dam awful Chuntley and Sara G and I do mean ANYONE

 

[Julius]

Julius, you've got it all wrong. Where are the graphic descriptions of physical attributes and their uses? I should know because I'm an expert - I managed to read 3 pages of one novel, bought at a charity shop. It's now working hard for its money at another charity shop so well done DBF working hard to ensure that all charities receive fair and honest treatment as usual.

I think there's an exciting bit a few chapters later where Brenda makes a bowl of porridge. But then the really explosive scene comes.

 

[shopperholic]

I think there's an exciting bit a few chapters later where Brenda makes a bowl of porridge. But then the really explosive scene comes.

Is that the bit were she's left it in the microwave too long?

 

[ohnonotshoppingagain]

have I missed something, I honestly don't remember her on SKY, mind you I don't have SKY now only Freeview and the only SKY I watch is the news.

 

[shopperholic]

have I missed something, I honestly don't remember her on SKY, mind you I don't have SKY now only Freeview and the only SKY I watch is the news.

She was a presenter on Sky sports. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1256717/Chloe-Everton-ordered-Twitter-page.html

 

[Peppermint Patti]

I think there's an exciting bit a few chapters later where Brenda makes a bowl of porridge. But then the really explosive scene comes.

What when she goes berserk and throws the bowl of porridge over the milkman for delivering full fat milk.