Good old Cath Huntley. I wonder if she filled the cottage with Yankee candles for Stephen and his over-possessive boyfriend?
Imagine the scene:
Cath: Ooooh here we finally are... in the Valleys! This really is rather cosy, isn't it? I do like an inglenook fireplace! Let's light this one. Mmmmm Cookies & Cream, my favourite! Damn I've just realised I didn't pack any...Damn! Steve, what brand of hair conditioner do you use?
Steve: Alberto Bal.... I mean Philip Kingsley.
Cath: Oh good. I've brought some l'Occitane milk way soaps and my Diet Chef hamper. Here's my supper.
Boyfriend: Leave his hair alone! He's not interested in you, OKAY?
Steve: Oh look, a golf ball roll and half a bowl of water vegetable soup! That's not a meal!
Cath: Well I've put on a stone and a half. I'm beginning to look like a whale again.
Steve: Cut it girl! You look fab!
Cath (looking in mirror): Do I? (simpers) Do, really? I mean, really? Hmmm? Do you like my new Cath Kidston handbag?
Steve: Didn't you go for a Kipling one in the end?
Cath: Oh no. I hate that cheap old tat. And that Marie-Francoise needs a slap in the face with a wet fish! Do you like my new hair colour? It's got a hint of rare welsh gold in it! (Mobile rings) Jill darling, how are you?
TO BE CONTINUED...