you have no idea how reassuring it is for me to read these posts. i actually have tears i my eyes as i type. i can identify with so many of the opinions and feelings expressed here. i live alone with my beloved cat louis and find xmas really hard – ditto with the loved ones no longer here
i’m not relgious and i hate all the commercialism, greed and downright hysteria. i first noticed this years ago when i found myself in the food hall at m&s one xmas eve. it was like the scenes i’d seen on tv of the harrods sale. since then when i’ve seen heaving trolleys with enough food for 10 people for a week, i find it obscene – and tears over the sold out brussels sprouts!! sorry but the world won’t come to an end if you don’t have any – most people hate them anyway.
i go to a friend’s every year on xmas eve and it is such an elaborate affair it’s unbelieveable. everything has to be perfect, from the dinner table with so many candles and decorations that it’s almost impossible to eat, antique china, gold plate, crystal glasses, to the immaculately wrapped presents. far more thought goes into the wrapping than the contents. i take a bottle of wine.
regarding the qvc-isms, on the very odd occasion i’ve gone out straight from work, i’ve gone as i was! i stopped going to work xmas do’s years ago because all everyone did was moan – “the food was awful”, “it was a rip off”, “so and so had more than their share of wine so i’m not splitting the bill”. 2 weeks later the poor soul who collected the money was still chasing a couple people and swearing never to do it again. not my idea of fun.
i too grew up with dinner and tea and i’m not sure when it morphed into lunch and dinner. it’s not moving in different circles because i still have a few friends from childhood. people didn’t used to have dinner parties in those days. when someone came round, we had “company” and it was usually an aunt and uncle who didn’t live locally. it wasn’t “dinner”, it would probably be sandwiches and a sponge. almost all my friends like hosting/going to dinner parties – is it a southern thing? becuase i’m definitely the oddball here in that it just isn’t my thing. i don’t much like cooking and don’t have the confidence to cook for others, especially as everyone has high expectations. all the fancy cookery shows and dinner party type shows on the tv make me cringe and it seems everyone tries to live up to it. i don’t understand it, i prefer life to be simple. i hate making small talk and going to a dinner party is the last thing i want to do. it always has a sort of “abigail’s party” feel to me.
because i don’t want to get involved, i take a lot of flack from the ones who enjoy it. there was even a near falling out with the neighbours over it. when new neighbours moved in next door, they invited me and another neighbour round for dinner. they said several times “when you have us back” until in the end i said it wouldn’t be happening because i don’t have the confidence to cook for others. they answered that by telling me i could get a takeaway for them. the other neighbour was very keen and insisting that we should meet monthly in each other’s houses. i was really feeling almost bullied and had to be firm and say it just wasn’t my thing and that’s that – they were welcome to do it with other neighbours but please don’t expect me to take part. they didn’t like that at all and i really wished i hadn’t gone in the first place. they couldn’t have made it more clear that i owed them in return for their “hospitality”.
i’m happiest on the sofa with louis, watching tv, maybe chatting online or playing solitaire - just plain relaxing in jammies or joggers. however, despite the fact i like to think i’m quite sensible, all the hype surrounding xmas, especially with it starting months ahead of time, does often make me feel i’m the only person in the world not out partying all the time. everyone i know has a family christmas and i often feel very sorry for myself being alone - sorry for going on so much but this thread has made me feel so much better – thank you everyone
