Random musings and general banter.

I get so het up watching this twaddle. I feel so much for people who get sucked in by this type of salesmanship and Kevs condescending smirks….it’s horrid.
Just tell us what it is,how it works and what a good price it is…people will respect you for that(possibly)

I know less than zero about watches(they show the time is all) and I don’t believe a word they’re saying.. so what do people think who know more than me about watches?

Scraping the barrel said:

I know less than zero about watches(they show the time is all) and I don’t believe a word they’re saying.. so what do people think who know more than me about watches?

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All I know about the Vostok watches is they are a lot cheaper on Kevski's website. A couple of hundred at least.

There was more of this twaddle about putting the watches on your household insurance because of their rarity!
It's a lot more of a rarity to hear anything like the truth in their speil

cheeky chappie said:

So sorry you didn't win tonight's star prize, here's the clue again for our audience and the viewers at home ...

My first is in alphabet but not in having a bet.
If going on holiday, you might need a jet.
If you twirl me I spin but careful not too fast.
Keep me don't lose me or you could come last.
All things considered I'm surely a catch.
You must choose me, your very best match.

Anyone? Anyone?? What about you at home???

That's right, it's a his and hers personal chiropody set!!!

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They used to have a random mix of unknown musicians and recognisable performers

Scraping the barrel said:

I get so het up watching this twaddle. I feel so much for people who get sucked in by this type of salesmanship and Kevs condescending smirks….it’s horrid.
Just tell us what it is,how it works and what a good price it is…people will respect you for that(possibly)

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It just goes to show the massive inadequacies in the legislation needed to properly police shopping live television presentation selling.

Those two men last night are a prime example of why change is needed. One (Simon) has so many transgressions in how to sell by confusion you would need a lot more web space than one online forum to recall them all. Reynolds, on the other hand, is an example of somebody more than happy to follow the lead from both the channel and the particular presenter he is put with. On a channel like QVC, he would probably come over as a transparent enough seller. Potentially being candid about the price differentials from their price to his own website’s. Why there? Probably because QVC would not be selling his own stock at significantly more than he charges the public for it. But get him on Ideal World and their smoke and mirrors tactics, and he’ll say/not say whatever you want him to. A seedy double act of a lack of candour and accuracy of information on their wares, meaning a lack of informed choice available to the buying public. Shameful even more so given many are not Net savvy and RELY on being told the truth - not only on these watch farragoes, but on all presentations in general.

The only penalty likely to have any serious impact or effect on regular offenders like Ideal World and others is the ultimate sanction of a Time Off Air ban. Or if Simon or others mislead and are called to account for it - make the fu….read out the rulings live on air. But isn’t the ASA funded by the industry it is meant to be effectively enforcing on? Turkeys don’t vote for Christmas in July, do they?

Duke of Cheese said:

One (Simon) has so many transgressions in how to sell by confusion you would need a lot more web space than one online forum to recall them all.

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Sums him up succinctly!

One of my biggest annoyances with him is when he says 'yours for ...' and mentions the cost of the first flexi payment only, often conveniently not mentioning the remaining payments.

Strictly speaking, the product isn't 'yours' if you only pay the first flexi.

As you very eloquently put, he knows exactly what he's doing.

That one show Kevski done on that Seen on TV with Millie, was how it should be

Kwai Chang Caine back today with the same dull and uninspiring range of goods. Batteries…Overpriced and overhyped watches….Back also to his ridiculous double entendres. “Ever woken up with a stiffie?” Then grabs a pillow and elaborates on the stiffie in question- NECK!! Wow…done so many times before. So pathetic…So repetitious…Three or four of them stuck in the same time warp selling acts they were performing 20 years ago. “Some of you might think this is a recording?” he wurrs and buzzes like a V2000 VCR at speed. Yes, Kwai…In the sense it is the same shyte from you every time you appear on a shopping channel.

Also fitting in very nicely with the disingenuous price comparisons…

Over a week of a warehouse clearance sale to clear the warehouse for new more exciting stock, yet they are still selling the same cheap tat as before.

Where they got a £46 price comparison from for some £7.99 plastic Benny Hill glasses from, God only knows. Unsourced once again…Comedians.

Hammy60 said:

Over a week of a warehouse clearance sale to clear the warehouse for new more exciting stock, yet they are still selling the same cheap tat as before.

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Made me laugh when he said these aren't meant to replace your normal glasses. As if anyone would go out in public wearing that abomination.

Similar looking set £17.99 on Amazon. NOT £46…. No doubt even cheaper if I could be arsed to look…

Moronic Kiddies are back now using Varney for reading out false texts.

As a response, Varney says he was up in Scotland recently to Kelty lovely part of the country, that's like him saying in response to a text from someone in London, oh was in coventry last week lovely part of the country.

Duke of Cheese said:

Where they got a £46 price comparison from for some £7.99 plastic Benny Hill glasses from, God only knows. Unsourced once again…Comedians.

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I think they search the web, most obscure parts, for the dearest price they can find.

Lawless, say what you like, controlled by spotty oiks television. Cut and pasted and unsourced completely OTT price comparisons….Literally lost for words to describe it any further. I feel better protected buying off somebody with a suitcase full of watches in an unlit doorway.

Hammy60 said:

I think they search the web, most obscure parts, for the dearest price they can find.

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I think they type them up themselves. I would be surprised if they did anything other than look for an image from the web. Regardless, they are misleading people by always showing the most expensive comparison rather than a selection of them.

Is the Armani watch coming up really made in Switzerland?

Christmas is coming…Jesus Christ…

I haven't really been watching much in the mornings, but the return of Paul Becque has reminded me how much I hate the shouty presenter style. The last time I saw him on Ideal World he seemed more subdued, like Mason of the Mikes. But now it's like he's pressed the factory reset button and is too irritating to take. Even on mute his animated gestures are annoying. I know when he is less manic he is actually a reasonable presenter

Professor Branestawm said:

That’s going to be my next suggestion for them. I’m going to email and suggest that each of the presenters should randomly tell us something that they are not, on each item.
‘I’m not an encyclopaedia salesman, by the way’ (Jeremy)
‘I just wanted to say, I’m not a proctologist. I’m just up myself’ (Peter S)…

I’m in a silly mood, today!

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Peter Simon - I'm not a comedian (But I don't let that stop me)

Mike Mason - I'm not a market stall hawker (But I don't let that stop me)

Sally/Gen - I have no fashion sense (But I don't let that stop me)

Peter V - I'm no expert (But I don't let that stop me)

Jezza - I Hate you all (But I don't let that stop me)

Yannis - I would never lie to you (But I don't let that stop me)

Dr Quincy MkII said:

Peter Simon - I'm not a comedian (But I don't let that stop me)

Mike Mason - I'm not a market stall hawker (But I don't let that stop me)

Sally/Gen - I have no fashion sense (But I don't let that stop me)

Peter V - I'm no expert (But I don't let that stop me)

Jezza - I Hate you all (But I don't let that stop me)

Yannis - I would never lie to you (But I don't let that stop me)

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Reminds me of a Chubby Brown joke, I'm not an experienced gynaecologist, but I'll have a fu**ing good look.