China Girl
Registered Shopper
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2010
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Love cats, and seeing the cat avatars on this forum
Being a cat lover this makes me smile every time I look at it !
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That perfectly illustrates the mixed and muddled messages we, the confused UK public are trying to interpret. Most of it means defying logic and common sense.Is everyone perfectly clear on what weāre allowed to do today? I thought so. Here, for the benefit of the terminally confused, is an updated list of Corona Cans and Canāts. You...
CAN have your hair cut ā but only by the dog groomer. Although not in Wales or Scotland.
CANāT join a gathering of more than six ā unless you are hellbent on overthrowing capitalism in which case you can meet thousands of people in Hyde Park and chuck things at the police.
CAN go to work if the R rate is between 0.6 and 0.9 - unless you are too busy shopping. But not in Wales where you can only travel five miles and the shops are shut.
CANāT see your grandchildren if you are married and they live in another household.
CAN see your grandchildren if you are a single-person household. Itās surprisingly easy to throw out your husband/wife of 40 years. They may, at first, put up a bit of a struggle, but tell them youāre only following government guidelines and they should settle down.
CANāT go to school if youāre a bored, depressed teenager ā but you can attend a rave in the countryside and inhale nitrous oxide, leaving behind hundreds of used capsules which Allisonās puppy, Bingo, will lick enthusiastically and then attempt sexual intercourse. With himself.
CAN join a long queue for Primark but you may have to wait longer for cancer treatment. First things first!
CANāT travel on public transport without wearing a mask, even if your glasses steam up and you miss your stop. Masks should not be worn in Wales. The minute you cross the River Severn, you can rip off your face-covering and cough as much as you like. But only in Welsh.
CAN board a packed flight from Luton to Larnaca, but if you want to go to church you must pray alone.
CANāT sing hymns for this is very dangerous. Unless you are at a rally with several thousand other people when you can sing what the hell you like as long as itās really rude.
CAN travel to a beach or beauty spot but DO NOT attempt to go to the loo.
CANāT take your GCSEs or A levels or go to a theatre but you can visit a zoo. Although not in Scotland.
CAN open your non-essential shop so long as you put in place ugly and alienating Covid-secure measures which make your business totally unviable. As you tell members of staff that you have to let them go, be sure to maintain two metres social distancing. No comforting hand on the shoulder! Gentle weeping by the newly-unemployed person is permitted, but anyone who threatens to become hysterical should wear a mask.
CANāT attend the university you have a place at. There are plans to get universities up and running by the autumn of 2021, but ONLY if lecturers have got to the front of the queue in Bicester Village and paid for their Mulberry tote bag. And itās 100pc safe. In the university, that is, not the shops. Although not in Wales or Scotland where it will never be safe again.
CAN have a summer wedding. Maybe. The Government has been āexamining how to enable people to gather in slightly larger groups to better facilitate small weddingsā since the 11th of May. And they will be letting us know very soon if you can have a summer wedding, possibly as early as November.
CANāT kiss the bride. The best man will pass the ring to the groom on a pole measuring no less than 6.56168 feet.
CAN have Botox, but you are still forbidden to attend a graduation ceremony or your uncleās funeral.
CANāT go on holiday abroad to a country which has returned to normal after overcoming Covid without entering a strict quarantine for 14 days on your return in case you import the virus from the country that doesnāt have it. A vast army of highly-trained Home Office quarantine enforcers ā Hayley and Saj in Scunthorpe ā will phone one in five returning British holidaymakers and ask, āAre you observing the quarantine rules?ā You will reply, āYes, indeed, I am!ā even if you have left your household to enjoy afternoon carnal relations with a member of the SAGE committee who is ākeeping the science under reviewā.
CAN work if you can but do NOT send your children to school. Lock the little darlings in a cupboard under the stairs with a bumper pack of Wotsits and a flashlight. Tell them not to worry, they can expect a Number 10 Review of their situation very soon.
Being a cat lover this makes me smile every time I look at it !
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I thought you werenāt allowed to travel over 5 miles. That doesnāt give ypu a lot of options. At least the zoos can open in a couple of weeks so I might be able to see my beloved at some point.Nicola won't let us do anything. No schools, no haircuts, no shops, no pubs until at least mid July if not longer. Mr CC and I are planning a booze cruise to Berwick upon Tweed at the weekend
I think you can travel as far as you like. About three weeks ago we encountered a young couple at a social distance who had travelled from Merseyside to Cumbria for a walk.I thought you werenāt allowed to travel over 5 miles. That doesnāt give ypu a lot of options. At least the zoos can open in a couple of weeks so I might be able to see my beloved at some point.
Nicola won't let us do anything. No schools, no haircuts, no shops, no pubs until at least mid July if not longer. Mr CC and I are planning a booze cruise to Berwick upon Tweed at the weekend
I thought you werenāt allowed to travel over 5 miles. That doesnāt give ypu a lot of options. At least the zoos can open in a couple of weeks so I might be able to see my beloved at some point.
In England there are no restrictions on how far you can travel for exercise etc. as long as you return home on the same day. You cannot go away and stay over night.You can only travel 5 miles for leisure purposes.
Seeing family you can travel further than that.
Shops will be 29th June.
That perfectly illustrates the mixed and muddled messages we, the confused UK public are trying to interpret. Most of it means defying logic and common sense.
Typical British muddling through, imo.
In England there are no restrictions on how far you can travel for exercise etc. as long as you return home on the same day. You cannot go away and stay over night.
Here hairdressers from 6 July - I wonder how difficult it will be to get an appointment and how much their prices will rise?
My hairdresser is the only person who can tame my hair but she is anything but pleasant or accommodating so god knows when Iāll get the chop.
It aināt over yet.
In England, if you live alone, or are a single parent with children under 18, you can now stay overnight in another household if they are in your chosen social bubble and, in that instance, you donāt have to observe social distancing. You can only have one social bubble like this.
I live alone, have chosen who will be in my social bubble and so will be staying there overnight.
Apart from this change to my circumstances, I will continue to observe the 2 metre rule (Iāll probably still do this if they reduce it to 1 metre because the numbers arenāt low enough yet imo) and I only go out for food and essentials.
Personally, it would make it a lot easier if the whole of the U.K. was doing the same thing. Weāre meant to be UNITED.