It could spawn a new novel for Debs. I can just see it now...
MADAM - Chapter 1
Madeleine smiled serenely to herself as she opened the parcel, the discreet wrapping belying the contents - three vibrators, each one in the shape of a different vegetable. There was the "Lascivious Leek," the "Pleasuring Parsnip" and the "Come On Carrot." They looked so realistic she made a point of keeping them away from her Jason Vale juicing machine. These babies weren't to be shoved in the hopper of a machine, oh no! To produce any juice these would have to be shoved somewhere else! She delved into her Kipling handbag and took out her LG tablet. She loved how quickly it turned on, a bit like herself when she was in the mood. She signed into her Twitter account "@souflondonswingers" and put fingers to keypad: "Vegetable party tonight @ 7!" she tweeted.
She took a look in the hallway mirror. "Not bad, Mads!" she said to herself as she admired her sylph-like figure in her Michele Hope lace top and Diane Gilman jeans with a big 80s-style belt with a rhinestone buckle. She hardly looked 56 years of age. The surgery had seen to that. Her looks were the only thing she had left now. Everything had been taken away from her to pay the £38000 she had been fined for conspiracy to control prostitution. She'd made millions and lost it all, but she'd had a bloody good time doing it. She looked at her watch. Just enough time to colour her hair before they were due to arrive. Keith and Susan were usually the first to turn up, followed by Miroslav and Anna. The hallway took on an orangey glow as the frosted lampshade illuminated. In the lounge the lava lamps were nicely warmed up, the globs of orange wax floating almost hypnotically in the purple liquid.
Still, she'd paid her debt to society and now after 18 months she was a free woman - except she didn't have anything else to do but go back to her old tricks.