Random musings/no argument zone

[Price Plunge]

Dirty Peter the art critic on Darren Baker: "He is the master class of the Dutch Elm".

WHHHAAAAATTTTTT?? :mysmilie_17:

Missed this but it sounds exactly like the car crash I thought it would have been. Anyway, I honestly hope that Darren knew exactly what he was letting himself in for when he/his agent did a deal with Sit-up to sell some of his paintings. It's one thing being a representative of a company that sells something like a skin care product or a touchscreen tablet, but to have a (mostly) utterly bizarre collection of presenters selling your personal artistic creations on your behalf could be somewhat disconcerting unless you're fully prepared for what's about to happen :grin:

 

[Paul_s]

Some highlights from the Darren Baker evening;

On his grand entrance to Bid;

Simon: Did you see our other art expert Lisa Brash
Baker - Yes in the corridor earlier (real meaning - yes, I saw a deluded woman who knows feck all about art)

During the auctions;

Simon: Quite extraordinary
Simon: Will you come back again?
Simon: 0904 251 2000
Simon: I've recorded this tonight so I can look back at it again in 20 years time
Simon: There's people hovering on the phones
Simon: When you painted the vase on the windowsill - Baker chimes in - floorboards.... (Simon had seen his work 3 week prior and did next to no research it seems (no surprise))

Baker: Why thank you Peter, I take that as a compliment (after Simon complimenting him for the 100th time)
Baker: /with a strange look on his face when Peter was describing his work as if to say: What the hell am I doing on this channel?


It was a disaster - Simon was clearly unprepared and his monologue was to be expected, no real questions - he didn't even ask how long the pieces took to draw/paint etc or the methods he used.

Simon didn't even mention Kinkade.

 

[bidtvbs]

I agree with you and that's exactly what I thought, perhaps Bid isn't quite the right stage for his work.

But it might do better with a better presenter but as ever it has to be with that stupid idiot, I can't watch anymore of this!

But bid is the right stage for Stephen Gayford? What does that say about him then:mysmilie_13:

 

[Muttley]

I saw a few minutes, I thought the artist was embarrassed/bemused to be there. We're used to Dirty Peter's antics, I hope he knew what he was getting himself into.

 

[Wirral70]

I saw a few minutes, I thought the artist was embarrassed/bemused to be there. We're used to Dirty Peter's antics, I hope he knew what he was getting himself into.

Poor Darren, he seemed a nice chap but appeared rather bemused by the whole thing which is totally understandable. In fairness any normal person would be flummoxed if they spent an hour in close contact with that utterly ridiculous man.

It put me in mind of when Linda Barker made one or two appearances on the channels, never to return.

 

[mr tom]

Steve macdonald and lisa brash must get annoyed at that muppet getting all the art guests

though "i'm recording this tonight so i can watch it back in 20years" is flatout brilliant in terms of bullshit.

 

[Wirral70]

Steve macdonald and lisa brash must get annoyed at that muppet getting all the art guests

though "i'm recording this tonight so i can watch it back in 20years" is flatout brilliant in terms of bullshit.

Dirty Peter said to Darren that Lisa Brash wants his autograph, it was as if the name Lisa Brash was supposed to mean something to him. He just smiled, politely.

I'm not making that up, he really did say it. They're getting more surreal by the week.

It's like The League of Gentlemen.

 

[Paul_s]

Dirty Peter said to Darren that Lisa Brash wants his autograph, it was as if the name Lisa Brash was supposed to mean something to him. He just smiled, politely.

I'm not making that up, he really did say it. They're getting more surreal by the week.

It's like The League of Gentlemen.

PS didn't have a clue - he was totally out of his depth and had obviously done next to no research on Darren apart from the fact that he painted the Queen, the 2012 Olympics and that there were some of his paintings in No. 10... (I'd not heard of him prior to that).

 

[Wirral70]

PS didn't have a clue - he was totally out of his depth and had obviously done next to no research on Darren apart from the fact that he painted the Queen, the 2012 Olympics and that there were some of his paintings in No. 10... (I'd not heard of him prior to that).

Oh I know Paul. He'd clearly been fed nothing more than a few headline details from Darren Baker's website and that was about it.

It was shocking, I have come to the conclusion that the new bosses have decided they want an even bigger freakshow than before, perhaps to disguise the absolutely appalling delivery service, the terrible products and the higher than ever prices.

They'll need more than the all of a sudden suspicious glut of positive reviews on feefo if they're to survive, it's shambolic.

Atrocious.

 

[Paul_s]

Oh I know Paul. He'd clearly been fed nothing more than a few headline details from Darren Baker's website and that was about it.

It was shocking, I have come to the conclusion that the new bosses have decided they want an even bigger freakshow than before, perhaps to disguise the absolutely appalling delivery service, the terrible products and the higher than ever prices.

They'll need more than the all of a sudden suspicious glut of positive reviews on feefo if they're to survive, it's shambolic.

Atrocious.

I like the new avatar. Very apt :mysmilie_59:

 

[Wirral70]

I like the new avatar. Very apt :mysmilie_59:

It dosen't do the sham justice. I thought at one point he was going to cry he was that emotional.

And to think people used to sneer at US Infomercials for being over the top and phoney, jeez!

 

[Mommabear]

Mr Baker is a sweet guy.

Talk about highs and lows. One minute you're painting the Queen, the next you're sat opposite dirty old Pete on Bid! I 'bet' he wouldn't like to paint him.

 

[Wirral70]

Mr Baker is a sweet guy.

Talk about highs and lows. One minute you're painting the Queen, the next you're sat opposite dirty old Pete on Bid! I 'bet' he wouldn't like to paint him.

He seems a nice guy, humble too. He deserves better than Bid and in particular The Dirty Peter.

However, let's have some sympathy. It seems he isn't even allowed to do his 'thing' on a Monday now either. Poor Peter, and no Eleese again.

But can I urge everyone to get some Snake Juice because you too can look like this if you use it.

 

[Ali Kamman]

Why does Dirty Peter keep going on about mankua honey when selling the latest snake serum nonsense?

And I doubt the old dears at 'ome are able to keep up with Jenny Gobb in full flow. Why does she gabble so quickly when trying to impart information?

 

[Paul_s]

Why does Dirty Peter keep going on about mankua honey when selling the latest snake serum nonsense?

And I doubt the old dears at 'ome are able to keep up with Jenny Gobb in full flow. Why does she gabble so quickly when trying to impart information?

I bought some Manuka honey last week - £9.99 for a small pot of 10+ rated! :mysmilie_51: On the other hand it was for my sore throat (which it has cured)... I didn't slap it on my chops though...

Jenny Topp is as professional as Worzel Gummage. :mysmilie_47:

 

[Ali Kamman]

Apparently, the snake oil stuff is like "compost for the face". I somehow don't imagine Clinique adopting that slogan any time soon...

 

[Wirral70]

I bought some Manuka honey last week - £9.99 for a small pot of 10+ rated! :mysmilie_51: On the other hand it was for my sore throat (which it has cured)... I didn't slap it on my chops though...

Jenny Topp is as professional as Worzel Gummage. :mysmilie_47:

He just said 'we've been through a lot together Jen and I in the fashion world'.

Now he's going on about 'my dear lady Bet who is a double G'. More like my dear friend Brian who likes a double brandy.

Preposterous.

 

[Mommabear]

He just said 'we've been through a lot together Jen and I in the fashion world'.

Now he's going on about 'my dear lady Bet who is a double G'. More like my dear friend Brian who likes a double brandy.

Preposterous.

:mysmilie_17:

His face gives me the creeps, his eyes are like dead fish eyes

 

[Wirral70]

:mysmilie_17:

His face gives me the creeps, his eyes are like dead fish eyes

I know, there is no life behind those piggy sunken eyes, only scheming.

Where's Eleese?

 

[Mommabear]

I know, there is no life behind those piggy sunken eyes, only scheming.

Where's Eleese?

Who cares? :mysmilie_19:

'we've been through a lot together Jen and I in the fashion world'

Been through a lot of what? skirts, jumpers, knickers??