One year on


Help Support ShoppingTelly:


Registered Shopper
Oct 8, 2011
So can you believe at ome it will be a year tomorrow since we last heard...
Peter S- it's gone strite through me at ome - I've had a day of it
Andy H- Susan Wrexham so we won't be sending her any

I do miss all the fun they used to have but I haven't watched any shopping channels since they went bust but get you best Peter Simon voice in your head and imagine for just a few short minutes what your missing out on if they were still here today....

On a Sunday night....Live from London...... In front of a packed studio audience (well of Seb and Charlie) its Peter Simon......OHHHHHHH a very good evening to you at ome now I've had a day of it. Ohhh well I was woken up this morning by a banging of my gate - someone had been down my back passage but didn't leave anything behind then I was doing a spot of gardening in my postage stamp front garden which I'm going to lose thanks to HS2 but don't get me started on that (Charlie one wipe, its not funny)...anyway the postman popped round called pop it in he said I've got a package for you, oh right I said( looks to camera). It's a big 1 where do you want it?, well round the back I said (looks to camera - don't you dare at ome) then the vicar turned up now he's been having some problems OHHHHHHH well on a wet week last Tuesday he asked me if I'd do a sponsored sky dive which I said I'd do as they need a new lead roof but I was hoping he would forget like the viewers on here seemed to but he hasn't so I offered him some Yonanas - by the way that's coming up at 11 tonight, it's the last of the stocks in the entire business and we're not sure when or if we will be getting any more so get in early on that.

After the Vicar left I felt like something warm inside me for tea so I went to the butchers, well he's got a big chopper (looks to camera - BOYS don't, there so common here, I don't know what Seb is laughing about - he needs a Dettol bath let me tell you at ome) so I went back ome with a bulging bag of meat and our Maude came down in her all in one winter combination and she said Peter you have got a lot of meat (looks to camera - it was 1942 since someone last said that to me) But enough of that we have a jam packed show for you tonight so what's in the box, then at 1 we have how low can we go - well don't ask that to Marina (looks to camera and pulls a funny face) ohhhhh she will go low - well she works here doesn't she. I used to work for the BBC - the viewers loved me, I could have been like Ant & Dec but I'm here selling the latest of the costume jewellery which we used to say was the worser of the jewelleries when we sold the proper stuff. Ohhhhh those we the good old days.

Now get a little cup of tea or dunk a chocolate finger or get a piece of Battenberg and the phone in your hand and just relax so first up tonight we have what I think is 1 of the most extra ordinary pens I've ever seen, not only is it in the shape of pen, not only does it have flowing inks which enables you to do the larger of the letters, Not only is it shaped perfectly to fit in the larger or smaller of the hands, Not only in the silver, not only in the most exquisite of the royal blues, not only is it from the leading manufacturer of the pen market, not only does it have the Parker logo on it and it even comes in a little presentation case which would make a perfect gift. now Marina what do you think to this?....Well Pete it writes nice........OHHHHHH it writes nice, it writes nice, Marina it's a Pen. We auditioned viewer and she was the best - well the only 1 who turned up.. it writes nice it writes nice, Now what would you pay for a pen like this £100, £75, £50, if you got it for £45 you would be cockahoop at ome - well get ready its going low its £29.99 oh wait stop everything, boys in the band (looks off camera with mouth wide open) now that can't be right, just a second at ome, i think the computer has tripped out, well it's done now so we have to take the hit on it, well done at ome. good luck if you get it, the lines are open in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Go. well what can NOOOOOO it's not going lower? its £24.99 take advantage of the computer tripping out.... well at this price we might as well just board up and go ome......its going even lower (big deep breath and £19.99 - Snot bubble comes out). We will be back in a second I need to get some tissue.

Now then at ome - oh I've just had some pop in the break and its gone strite through me - boys don't laugh you will be old 1 day and if I bend over I could shoot the cat or pebble dash the set I should be in a home, there may be snow on the roof but the fires still lit.....right we are so far behind tonight so get ready for some bargains as we do a smash and grab on the larger of the gemstone globes, not only in the spherical shape set of a 4 legged brass stand, not only with the non working of the compases, Not only with the gilded lines of Longitude, not only in the Latitude, not only in the richer of the lapis lazuli seas 0904 251 2 now doesn't this just look extra ordinary at ome, a real gem of a piece, to get yours call 0904 25 - now the price on this is £1700, watch this........NOOO NOOOOOOOO it's all gone wrong its £179.99 that can't be right, well I've never sold a gemstone globe for this price hand on heart, i will never do you wrong, just grab this now. You have over 100 man hours here, not only with 40 precious gemstones not only with the minerals, not only the mother of pearl, not only the amethyst, not only the with the incontinents of Asia, not only Africa not only with the certificate of authenticity 0904 251 2000.

The last 1 of the night is a what's in the box special - now this is going to be different as we are opening the lines now before we show you what's in the box, Will it be a 2ct diamond ring set in the richer of the yellow golds, Will it be the newest of the Samsung phones with the larger of the 12mp cameras, Will it be newest collection of the Padua bracelets, Will it be a solid gold chain with the heavier of the golds....what will it be, over 200 of these have gone, get ready at ome if you haven't already got yours, what's in the box its OHHHHHH another chance to get that parker Pen and the price is £24.99 Go go go.

Oh well what a night it's been I'm exhausted, I'll see you tomorrow between 10 & 1:30 and we will have another chance for you to get the latest of the Yonanas so from me Peter Simon goodnight and godbless and remember no matter where you are or who you are, you might not know it but somebody loves you :)
Last edited:
So can you believe at ome it will be a year tomorrow since we last heard...

.... I can't believe that it is a matter of days till we hear that voice again on Shopping Telly.
No injuries to her jaws, I take it? (Only joking, Sally, but I just couldn't resist it..can't wait to hear those dulcet tones I loved so well..)

Sally has had an interesting year giving birth to a boy to shattering her eye socket last month and having a metal plate fitted.
Last edited:
We just need James Russell and Lisa Brash and most of the old crowd are back. Also my mun spotted the Bid TV model Sabine, the tall Australian one on Ideal World.

Caroline can be found on TJC early in the morning. Saw her a couple of days ago wearing a purple dress, purple nail varnish and selling amethyst jewellery! I love purple but that was too much even for me.
I couldn't see Lisa "oh did I mention I once dated Robbie Williams like a hundred years ago" Brash (was there ever a name more suited) fitting in on any other shopping channel, unless it sold only ear phones or hearing aids obviously.

Latest posts