Random musings and general banter.

[Battiola73]

I hope Vol-au-Vent doesn’t take that long doing the vacuuming at home, it’s just taken him a minute to vacuum about a 6” square of carpet. Mason is looking like a scraggy bouncer waiting to chuck out anyone wanting to steal the bliddy thing.

Just noticed Mason’s jacket. It’s either made of denim or it’s not finished and still has the tailor’s chalk marks on it!

 

[Muttley]

I hope Vol-au-Vent doesn’t take that long doing the vacuuming at home, it’s just taken him a minute to vacuum about a 6” square of carpet. Mason is looking like a scraggy bouncer waiting to chuck out anyone wanting to steal the bliddy thing.

Just noticed Mason’s jacket. It’s either made of denim or it’s not finished and still has the tailor’s chalk marks on it!

The bottom looks uneven like it needs hemming to tidy it up. As he would say "somefink" is not right about it.

 

[Jazzydrury]

Thanks for sharing Jazzy. I’d forgotten how professional it used to be. I was surprised by how many of the presenters both on QVC and IW were still on Selly Telly. The current IW presenters could learn a lot from watching their predecessors.

Was amazed by the advert about the minimum wage going up to £3.75? Per hour.

Yes a lot of the Shopping Channel presenters have been working on these channels for over 25 years possibly 30

 

[galesgal57]

No Pedro again tomorrow, Paul the human siren on the six o'clock shift. Looks like Strictly again for me.

 

[Battiola73]

I see Doctor Edwards is broadcasting from an old fashioned bargain basement with tonight’s selection of tasteless tat aka IW Fashion.

 

[Herring]

I hope Vol-au-Vent doesn’t take that long doing the vacuuming at home, it’s just taken him a minute to vacuum about a 6” square of carpet. Mason is looking like a scraggy bouncer waiting to chuck out anyone wanting to steal the bliddy thing.

Just noticed Mason’s jacket. It’s either made of denim or it’s not finished and still has the tailor’s chalk marks on it!

Nah, he has a proper branded vac at home so it's done in no time

 

[Muttley]

I see Doctor Edwards is broadcasting from an old fashioned bargain basement with tonight’s selection of tasteless tat aka IW Fashion.

He's demonstrating men's jumpers, now wearing a sweatshirt type top. It's somewhat tight and doing him no favours whatsoever.

 

[galesgal57]

Jezza with a portable electric shoe dryer! Pedro should get one for use after trudging through his sodden carpets. What next? A portable arse wiper, an electronic belly button fluff remover?

 

[UkSki]

Hopped on last night, Mike M with Alex selling 2 x goose down pillows for £24.99.

Mike exclaims to Alex 'the question is, how the heck are we doing two of these for £24.99???'

Not that amazing. B&Q selling 2 for £21.99 free p&p (comparable quality).

Or what about Wayfair, 2 for £18.99 or 4 for £31.99 with £4.99 p&p.

I noted the "Not direct comparison" disclaimer on the pillows they were trying to compare them to price wise

 

[Muttley]

Jezza with a portable electric shoe dryer! Pedro should get one for use after trudging through his sodden carpets. What next? A portable arse wiper, an electronic belly button fluff remover?

Electric shoe dryer? Is that a thing? Oh, and can I just say (to quote Pete), that I was having my breakfast when I read your last sentence...

 

[Samki]

Jezza with a portable electric shoe dryer! Pedro should get one for use after trudging through his sodden carpets. What next? A portable arse wiper, an electronic belly button fluff remover?

It looks a an instrument of medieval torture - not the shoe drier but the whole ideal world set up

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Electric shoe dryer? Is that a thing? Oh, and can I just say (to quote Pete), that I was having my breakfast when I read your last sentence...

Electric shoes? Surely a health and safety risk in the rain, or anywhere near Chef Mark?

 

[Jazzydrury]

Yiannis, selling 48 card kit, and a pack of 24 Colouring Pens for £12.99, Premium Quality.

Does that mean all these kits he used to sell for about £100 on Create and Craft, were severely overpriced then

 

[Jazzydrury]

Jezza with a portable electric shoe dryer! Pedro should get one for use after trudging through his sodden carpets. What next? A portable arse wiper, an electronic belly button fluff remover?

Because of my disability, Social Ssrvices, provided me with a Electric Toilet, where you press a button on a remote and it cleans you, so Electric Arse Wipers exist

 

[Lord Helpus]

Thought Natalia looked particularly shiny and nutty today trying to scam some 'miracle' rub on your face device 'reduced' from £3500 to under £400.

She is bizarre, bonkers and brazenly deceitful all at the same time.

 

[Lord Helpus]

I'm going to a 50th birthday bash today for which I've been preparing for months.

I have my IW prestige perpetual luxury watch and thanks to Natalia's magical face massager and creams my skin is supremely soft if a bit shiny.

Thus I'm expecting a lot of attention to my face and wrist. And with a whiff of gammon about me I can't go wrong. But just in case, any other IW inspired recommendations for my social climbing?

PS. I did try to obtain a copy of Mike Mason's book 'How to wow people anytime anywhere' but it sold out (flew out in fact) like his other best selling titles 'How to con anyone anywhere any time' and 'How to live the champagne lifestyle for lemonade money'.

 

[cheeky chappie]

Is it me, or does anyone else agree that those faux leather quilted jackets are horrible? The ones that Mike of the Masons described as gorgeous. And expensive at £40.

Surely they're made of the finest faux first layer bonded leather though?

 

[cheeky chappie]

I noted the "Not direct comparison" disclaimer on the pillows they were trying to compare them to price wise

As we've said before, in this day and age, their price comparison guff will only work on those who don't have access to the Internet or are too lazy to check online for more realistic price comparisons. Or (mainly older) folk who maybe have a computer but don't know about doing price comparisons online.

Many (most?) products they do a price comparison for can usually be found cheaper online than IW's supposedly fantastically low amazing super duper price.

It's laughable, as in genuinely laughable, when they say 'how are we doing this for £50?!?' and you hop online to find other retailers selling the item for less, sometimes 50% less or more!

It just makes them look like fools ...

 

[cheeky chappie]

I'm going to a 50th birthday bash today for which I've been preparing for months.

I have my IW prestige perpetual luxury watch and thanks to Natalia's magical face massager and creams my skin is supremely soft if a bit shiny.

Thus I'm expecting a lot of attention to my face and wrist. And with a whiff of gammon about me I can't go wrong. But just in case, any other IW inspired recommendations for my social climbing?

PS. I did try to obtain a copy of Mike Mason's book 'How to wow people anytime anywhere' but it sold out (flew out in fact) like his other best selling titles 'How to con anyone anywhere any time' and 'How to live the champagne lifestyle for lemonade money'.

A 50th birthday, a decade marker, very important.

I hope to mark such an occasion you bought them a birthday gift from IW ... you're spoilt for choice.

I'd imagine you probably bought them that hoop exercise thingy with the weight that you swing around. A very nice, high quality gift.

 

[Lord Helpus]

Although I couldn't get hold of Mike of the Mason's book I have found a list of the chapters:

● How to make a grand entrance into any public house
● Watch envy: it's all in the wrist action
● How to fake it: honesty, integrity, sincerity, limping
● How to attract and keep your goddess
● How to smell great on a budget
● How to be bald and beautiful like me
● Cockney charm: when to apply and when to leave it ooout son
● How to dance and sing like a pro
● How to create and keep you own gang
● How to be more like me!

As I think you'll agree there's so much desirable information here for anyone wanting to be more popular or to get ahead of the crowd or how to seem more important than you really are. Can we get a reprint done and then buy before it flies out?