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Chef Mark? Anybody who regularly sees or hears him on-air will doubt his credibility as a competent chef. Telling us about his experience of Michelin ‘Four Star’ restaurants and pouring water into a powered on grill with the dangerous consequences of doing so.

Given his lack of demonstrable skills, I dare say his experience in Michelin 'four star' restaurant kitchens was as the pot washer…

…until the restaurant burnt down 🔥🚒 which is why 'Mark the Spark' made a side-step into selly TV.
 
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It’s like people in general in life who do wrong by others and know they are doing it. The best they can hope for is oblivion. The worst? As Simon has said himself - Hell awaits. Or being forced to watch the morning beauty hours in a room full of the Gammone, on a loop forever more.
He'll be trying to flog something, even in Hell - electric heaters, anyone?
 
Given his lack of demonstrable skills, I dare say his experience in Michelin 'four star' restaurant kitchens was as the pot washer…

…until the restaurant burnt down 🔥🚒 which is why 'Mark the Spark' made a side-step into selly TV.
He very much strikes me as a person totally ill at ease with the role he is performing. Like a steeplejack with vertigo, a marionette operator with Pupaphobia or a meet and greeter with Agoraphobia. He looks an absolute bag of nerves at times, and to the extent he seems to lose the power of cogent thought. I am sure he poured that water into an electric grill because he failed to think straight at the time. He ought to be sent out on The Michelin Four Star Restaurant Hunt. That should take him a few decades of looking.
 
He very much strikes me as a person totally ill at ease with the role he is performing. Like a steeplejack with vertigo, a marionette operator with Pupaphobia or a meet and greeter with Agoraphobia. He looks an absolute bag of nerves at times, and to the extent he seems to lose the power of cogent thought. I am sure he poured that water into an electric grill because he failed to think straight at the time. He ought to be sent out on The Michelin Four Star Restaurant Hunt. That should take him a few decades of looking.

After he's found the tin of tartan paint, he'll be right on it.
 
He very much strikes me as a person totally ill at ease with the role he is performing. Like a steeplejack with vertigo, a marionette operator with Pupaphobia or a meet and greeter with Agoraphobia. He looks an absolute bag of nerves at times, and to the extent he seems to lose the power of cogent thought. I am sure he poured that water into an electric grill because he failed to think straight at the time. He ought to be sent out on The Michelin Four Star Restaurant Hunt. That should take him a few decades of looking.
At least Keith Floyd could drink and cook!
 
Given his lack of demonstrable skills, I dare say his experience in Michelin 'four star' restaurant kitchens was as the pot washer…

…until the restaurant burnt down 🔥🚒 which is why 'Mark the Spark' made a side-step into selly TV.
I always thought he was more of a cooking enthusiast. The sort of person who talks a good game on Come Dine With Me but everything is from the supermarket
 
He will be sat around, his numerous fans and Artic Cubes today

Sat in his stained blue shorts with his top off to show off the "definition" in his abs he attributed to vibration technology during Vibrapower shows. I always had to look away during those - he'd lift his polo up, flash his hairy belly, and insist there was definition there… 🙈

Lucky Bet, eh!

Hey, maybe once ol' Mark has found a 4-star michelin restaurant, tartan paint, and a glass hammer he can go looking for Peter's abs…
 
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Sat in his stained blue shorts with his top off to show off the "definition" in his abs he attributed to vibration technology during Vibrapower shows. I always had to look away during those - he'd lift his polo up, flash his hairy belly, and insist there was definition there… 🙈

Lucky Bet, eh!

Hey, maybe once ol' Mark has found a 4-star michelin restaurant, tartan paint, and a glass hammer he can go looking for Peter's abs…
I wish there was more choice of reaction emojis🤮🤑😝
 

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