Because you all miss it... I know you do...
Well a very good evening to those of you watching at 'ome, and an exquisite voluptuous Friday it is too! (Don't! I know it's Tuesday... it's my age!) Dear viewer I had the most unremarkable of nights. So there I was tossing and turning
it's the heat you see, I don't like it and it don't like me, so I got on the blower, gave our Bet a call, and said, our Bet tonight it's, and it's not a word I use very often, moist!
Well you'll never guess what she said to me, she said, you should've used those flexis Pete, got yourself a fan that not only pushes the hot air away, not only chills to a level colder than a penguins bottom, not only sucks (stop making up your own jokes; I'm not done yet
) the heat away from your feet via a window attachment (no idea
) but dries and dehumidifies at the same time. So I said to our Bet, right, I said, but that'll cost me too much to run, okay, so she said stick a flannel in the freezer and pop that on your particulars later!
Oooooooh so here we are on this Wed, um, Fri ah, well just buy it at 'ome, two twenties and a contract with the devil, I can tell you you won't regret it. 090... it's absolutely gonna fly out on this Saturday so check out those baskets, right. It's a flattern of rattan, delivered straight to your door with a genuine leather slap!
I'm just gonna have a word with our lovely producer Maria, or is it Sophie on tonight? Oh it's Gavin, well hmmm there's a lot I could tell you about our Gav, but maybe I'll save that until the best time of day show! So Gavin, have we received any twats into the studio yet? Oh, dear viewer, I do love it when you get in touch...
No, shemails in the binbox, so on with the show...
I have the most luxurious delicious timepiece for you here from flogstock your rope, and, well, at these prices and with the super fantastic amount of limited stock we've got, you're going to want to check out those webs. Only 5 of these have ever been made and we're incredibly lucky, these were destined for Basildon Market, the home of all the big watch brands, but, and you're going to love me for this, not only have we got all 6 with the cases, the exhibition backs, the swappable straps, the tickety tock of Swiss branded hand assembled finery, right, but, and I can't believe I'm saying this, if you buy tonight in 7 instalments we're even throwing in a pen, a gift box, a second watch and, wow am I allowed to tell them this part? A drone, a battery, and the chance to own a part of the channel.
Have a look at this short video... Ere Gav, I want a word with you? You had better not be giving away any of my spare parts in this offer?
) so some of you are going to miss out, unless you get in quick, on these 'remarkable, extraordinary timepieces, miraculous exquisite engineering design pieces exhibiting the art of horology', so get on the phones or online and make sure you CHECK OUT YOUR BASKETS!"
