Random musings and general banter.

[cheeky chappie]

Good Evening. My name is Den. That's TWA....Den. Before the product let me tell you a little bit about me. Let me come straight to the point - you all think I'm 35 but I'm actually 86. I know..I know... you don't have to say it.. but you can if you want to - I'm a miracle of life. Now, let me tell you a bit about my magnificent husband...He can bench press two tonnes with one finger. He has a resting heart rate of 12. And he is even more gorgeous than I am. I know that's hard to believe...Now..did you know I have a signed copy of The Best of Enrico Caruso on cylinder in my drawers. He was such a lovely man when I met him. It was 1917...I know..I know...You don't have to say it...

She was presenting a treadmill show last night. I didn't catch it from the start but she was referring to someone, I'm assuming a son/grandson. He's heavily into his keep-fit she tells us, he has every kind of equipment you can imagine.

Den buys a treadmill.

Guess what piece of equipment he now uses the most she asks ...

Yeah yeah, we ALL believe you.

 

[Hammy60]

She was presenting a treadmill show last night. I didn't catch it from the start but she was referring to someone, I'm assuming a son/grandson. He's heavily into his keep-fit she tells us, he has every kind of equipment you can imagine.

Den buys a treadmill.

Guess what piece of equipment he now uses the most she asks ...

Yeah yeah, we ALL believe you.

It was her hubby she was speaking about, that's what Duke of Cheese's post is about. How magnificently fit her hubby is and what he can do, a genuine superman.

 

[Mommabear]

Has he chuff got a treadmill, load of baloney

 

[Hammy60]

Just a couple of statements from shows last night ...

This is probably one of the best watch brands in the world
(eh, either it is or it isn't)

It's possible we won't get these back in again this year
(eh, so it's equally possible you will)

This could be the last time we have stock of these
(eh, so you might have more on sale next week)

That's how you know they are all being deliberately deceitful instead of an honest/genuine mistake, because almost everything they say is worded with a get out clause, so they don't fall foul of ASA. Although they think they are being clever, but as they use the get out clause so often, they are not clever enough to keep the act up and often drop themselves in it, just a shame ASA is unwilling to actually do their job and protect the public from these con artists.

 

[Hammy60]

Sick of hearing anti-aging this and that, nothing but an absolute money spinner. Sally looks a lot older than her singing days, of course she does and Jane looks her age. DeKnees needs putting out to pasture but I suppose it’s a nice little earner on top of her pension/s.

Caught Maris Piper yesterday, the EG woman. My goodness her face was as solid as a potato how much Botox has been pumped in that?!

Also plastered in make up, she just looks so unnatural, like looking at a dolls face.

 

[Hammy60]

It's yet another example of 'engage your brains viewers.' They (the presenters) preach all this guff about various health & beauty products but as you say, they look their age if not older, granted with one or two exceptions.

The way they bleat on about how great all the pills & potions are, they should look in their 20's

Well they've been using these pills and potions (and same with keep fit/healthy eating) for years, so the benefits should be obvious for us viewers to see, but i'm just not seeing it, just the opposite.

The biggest laugh is when Peter Simon shows off, what he claims is the improving muscle definition on his abdomen, just looks like the same fat belly he's always had to me and his T shirt isn't fitting any better either.

 

[Mommabear]

Like Sally’s thicker hair with Proto-col and probably hairgain, half her head is extensions!

 

[Jazzydrury]

Just noticed on the Bonmarche show, they are using another phone number and longer codes, and the website to go to has changed to Bonmarche does that mean they have just borrowed De Knees.

 

[Susie Wusie]

They can keep her

 

[Jazzydrury]

Cant say I watch many De Knees hours, does she still mention her daughter Laura all time, Laura has Learning Problems.

Being disabled and having CP, and some Learning Issues myself, I would hate it if a relative of mine was on TV, and mentioned my problems all the time

 

[cheeky chappie]

Shaun doing the launch show for ceramic heaters. Two little gems already and we're just two mins in ...

When it comes to heating your home, it's a little bit of a nightmare, isn't it.
Eh, nope.

You put the central heating on and heat up the whole house, but that evening you've only been in two rooms.
I can solve that by turning the TRVs down on whatever radiators I want off. You know, TRVs, the things most people have on their radiators?

Needless to say watching 2-3 mins is enough, switching back to normal telly now ...

 

[cheeky chappie]

That's me just off the phone to Boris. Called him to say absolutely no need to worry about rising energy prices in the UK, thanks to IW and the super-duper energy saving radiators they're selling.

He thanked me sincerely for the information and is going to raise this as a special point of order during his next PMQs.

 

[cheeky chappie]

I can exclusively reveal Greta Thunberg will be a special IW guest on an upcoming ceramic radiator show, so impressed is she by the technology and its potential to save the planet and stop global warming. It's the demo's they do with the thermometer that swung it for her.

 

[cheeky chappie]

I've just heard that the World Meteorological Organization has suggested IW receive a special climate change commendation for all the work they do around efficient heating solutions. The WMO, or WHO? as Peter S refers to them, were especially impressed by the thermostats on the heaters that, unlike any in the world, sense the temperature from all 4 corners of the room.

 

[Hammy60]

Shaun doing the launch show for ceramic heaters. Two little gems already and we're just two mins in ...

When it comes to heating your home, it's a little bit of a nightmare, isn't it.
Eh, nope.

You put the central heating on and heat up the whole house, but that evening you've only been in two rooms.
I can solve that by turning the TRVs down on whatever radiators I want off. You know, TRVs, the things most people have on their radiators?

Needless to say watching 2-3 mins is enough, switching back to normal telly now ...

It's funny, cause if we are to believe the IW presenters, you get up in the morning and sit in the living room and never move to another room till you go to your bed.
Personally i don't mind heating more than just the room i'm in, ok it's more money (actually it probably cheaper than the cost of running a few of those ceramic heaters, electric bills can soar with those things), but hey would rather pay extra to have a warm house than have a shower or toilet visit in a freezing bathroom or move around a freezing house in the middle of winter. Did that as a kid in the days of just a coal fire in the living room and the rest of the house was an ice box, used to scrape the ice of the inside of my bedroom window when i was a kid, sorry but not going back to those days.

 

[cheeky chappie]

Peter Vollebregt is in line for an MBE in thanks for his services to the use of temperature guns ...

 

[cheeky chappie]

It's funny, cause if we are to believe the IW presenters, you get up in the morning and sit in the living room and never move to another room till you go to your bed.
Personally i don't mind heating more than just the room i'm in, ok it's more money (actually it probably cheaper than the cost of running a few of those ceramic heaters, electric bills can soar with those things), but hey would rather pay extra to have a warm house than have a shower or toilet visit in a freezing bathroom or move around a freezing house in the middle of winter. Did that as a kid in the days of just a coal fire in the living room and the rest of the house was an ice box, used to scrape the ice of the inside of my bedroom window when i was a kid, sorry but not going back to those days.

My old mum now follows IW advice. She has 1 radiator on castors. She wears a harness and attaches the radiator to it with a bit of flexible cord. When she then walks from room to room ... the radiator follows like a sort of metal pet dog.

 

[Hammy60]

Peter Vollebregt is in line for an MBE in thanks for his services to the use of temperature guns ...

MBE, is that for holding the record of Most Batteries Expended in a demo?

 

[Mommabear]

MBE, is that for holding the record of Most Batteries Expended in a demo?

Most Boring Eejit

 

[Nellykins]

I don't normally watch the watch shows but I've just flicked over and caught Mason on the Heritor show just in time to hear him say about the Winthrop model "We've also got it in black/gold as well...The black/gold is not a working sample guys. It's a model watch we've been sent to show you the different colouration." Ay ok Mike, whatever you say. You really mean it was fucked when we took it out the box which shows you how long it will last when you buy one and get it home! Between that and the ridiculously overinflated RRP's (£700 more than they're flogging them for) they really do think we're as big of a dickhead as they are.