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I am still mystified what he Walter has done to himself as there are some lines coming back above his eyes but there is a strange lump under his right eye also.
Patio my arse
 

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And now, from Pete, the ultimate in gobbledegook,

A watch which will never disown you. Solid gold from Tooting Carmen (or was that Tooting Common). The epiphany of eloquence. Men do battle. Women luxuriate.

Please ease check out ya baskets. All the years you and I have been together. Not only because.

From the Faroes to Greek mythology. Let's live.
 
Oh, I wish I’d been watching for this! Caught about 3 minutes of him earlier in a faux Barbour jacket, explaining they should be asking £179 for them. Why then, is the selling price £59? He then went off on a tangent wittering about how grateful he was to ‘all of you out there’ etc etc etc. Buffoon.
 
I have a gold panther watch not unlike the one he is rabbiting on about, was bought it in 1991, and although the bracelet is quite weighty, they still have cheap quartz workings. I have had to have mine replaced twice, and no longer wear it now.

That's one of the most important pieces of information collectors want to know when buying a watch, what movement is in the watch, make and caliber. IW seem to think all you need to know is it quartz, automatic or Kevski's new wonder meccaquartz movement. On odd occasions they'll say Swiss Quartz, Swiss Automatic or Japanese movement, which may reasure some folks, but if you know anything about movements even that amount of info isn't sufficient. The gold watch they are selling has a Swiss movement, all that tells you is the watch was most probably assembled in the Far East, it could have a cheap Swiss assembled £5 Ronda or a £50 Ronda or the even cheaper Far East assembled Ronda or could have a "pretendy Swiss" ISA quartz movement.
Usually you find good brands will give you all the details you require, dubious brands usually try to hide as much tech details about the movement as possible.
 
Patio Pete.

The bang on the head had made him no more articulate.

He thinks he is a poet, a wordsmith. That he can paint word pictures which enthrall and entice people into buying whatever he is selling, believing it to be the best thing ever... since the last bit of tat he offered.

In fact he joins random phrases together, peppered with malapropisms ("the epiphany of elegance"), irrelevances ("with this gold watch you will twirl and twirl into a ball room") until he builds a candy floss of utter nonsense. Then we get that knowing smug smile.

Priceless. Just buy it. Not only because...
 
The compost is a few pounds cheaper from You Garden. It is a great product, but I wouldn't pay the extra money, I think you can also get it from Amazon.

Are you speaking from experience? Have wondered about this "growers compost". A lot of what the shops/diy stores offer appears to be recycled garden waste, bits of twig, plastic, foil seems to be the norm,
 
Are you speaking from experience? Have wondered about this "growers compost". A lot of what the shops/diy stores offer appears to be recycled garden waste, bits of twig, plastic, foil seems to be the norm,
I have bought it from previous IW, and the difference between it and garden centre compost is immense. It is light and airy, and plants really do grow well in it.
 
These trampled roses, right? They look similar to my lumpy bumpy forehead, okay? Dr. Karloffitoff, my lobotomy surgeon..He warned me not appear before the watershed, as my new head scar could frighten Falklands Veterans, but Charlie told me to act as normal, okay? Our Bet…she said just say you walked off Beachy Head and hit every rock on the way down. But I said no…okay..I WILL say I walked through some closed patio doors on the top floor of my bungalow, which caused my ears to swop places with my eyes, okay. Just as I was on my way for an audition for New Faces, okay? And now I have one, right? You must insure my face, okay? With a £500 excess fat injection clause, right?

Wonderful to see you back from Romania, after your release from Dracula’s wardrobe.

Hoolio is saying something in my ear, which is now situated just below my testicles. Multi-buy these butt fattener kits for no other reason other than you should just buy them, okay?
 
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