Random musings and general banter.

[Duke of Cheese]

I think I did really well. I actually got to good evening before I switched off.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

You're the new Hammy. You'll be mentioned every show.

They've mentioned me once or twice but I live in Hull according to them. As the name Muttley comes from a cartoon dog from Wacky Races its clearly not my own name and I definitely wouldn't use it if I were texting a shopping channel.

However if there is a Muttley from Hull then I apologise. Or maybe **** Dastardly's sidekick retired there. Maybe he lives in a canine retirement home having lost his mind and spends his time watching Ideal World

Duke of Cheese is a difficult one to fake.

 

[Gray]

Natalia with bleeding Opatra...again. Surely she must get bored talking about the same stuff for four hours every day?

On a positive note, Joanne's looking nice.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

It is interesting to speculate if there will actually be any new and better products for the forthcoming year. I thought what was going to happen, would be after that initial rushed start with very few items to sell, and showing them in a very small and cramped studio, there would be a gradual improvement. I think it is probably fair to say that improvement hasn’t been spotted as yet. Repetition is key with them at the moment, and that is either because what they are showing sells brilliantly and they don’t need to expand, or they just for whatever reason can’t find or don’t want to find a broader range of products and a wider range of prices.

If you break down the areas that they don’t provide goods for or very little choice of currently…
Technology - nothing in any serious sense (tablets, laptops, mobile phones etc..). Dash cams and writing tablets…some cheaper speakers..karaoke mics…That kind of thing..
Men’s Fashion - nothing I have seen
Furniture - nothing
Garden and DIY - virtually nothing, bar some cheap mini-tool kits that I have seen
Women’s Fashion - one brand only
Kitchen - saucepans and air fryers and mini-cookers in the main
Toys…Plastic cars..Cheaper type items…No known brands I have spotted
Watches - strong reliance on a handful of brands - William Hunt etc..
Food and Drink - nothing
Larger Electrical Goods - TVs etc…Nothing
Fitness - no specific fitness equipment. Occasional e-bikes shown
Fragrances and Skincare - relentless promotion of Gammon and William Hunt - plus a handful of others
Jewellery - Nothing
Beauty Products - Opatra and more Opatra

A new studio is apparently on the cards. When they will actually move into that who knows. And with bigger premises, will they naturally move onto selling bigger type goods? There has also been no visible effort to improve the promos between presentations. Nothing really other than basic in-house voiceovers and generally repetitive similar type ads. And still using ‘Reg Varney‘ ones from the former channel, which seems a very odd thing to be relying on.

It would be good to know what other people think about how the channel is going to progress (or not progress) throughout the coming 12 months? for me, I think the business model has been set out very clearly, and I see very little change in it.

 

[Dr Quincy MkII]

It is interesting to speculate if there will actually be any new and better products for the forthcoming year. I thought what was going to happen, would be after that initial rushed start with very few items to sell, and showing them in a very small and cramped studio, there would be a gradual improvement. I think it is probably fair to say that improvement hasn’t been spotted as yet. Repetition is key with them at the moment, and that is either because what they are showing sells brilliantly and they don’t need to expand, or they just for whatever reason can’t find or don’t want to find a broader range of products and a wider range of prices.

If you break down the areas that they don’t provide goods for or very little choice of currently…
Technology - nothing in any serious sense (tablets, laptops, mobile phones etc..). Dash cams and writing tablets…some cheaper speakers..karaoke mics…That kind of thing..
Men’s Fashion - nothing I have seen
Furniture - nothing
Garden and DIY - virtually nothing, bar some cheap mini-tool kits that I have seen
Women’s Fashion - one brand only
Kitchen - saucepans and air fryers and mini-cookers in the main
Toys…Plastic cars..Cheaper type items…No known brands I have spotted
Watches - strong reliance on a handful of brands - William Hunt etc..
Food and Drink - nothing
Larger Electrical Goods - TVs etc…Nothing
Fitness - no specific fitness equipment. Occasional e-bikes shown
Fragrances and Skincare - relentless promotion of Gammon and William Hunt - plus a handful of others
Jewellery - Nothing
Beauty Products - Opatra and more Opatra

A new studio is apparently on the cards. When they will actually move into that who knows. And with bigger premises, will they naturally move onto selling bigger type goods? There has also been no visible effort to improve the promos between presentations. Nothing really other than basic in-house voiceovers and generally repetitive similar type ads. And still using ‘Reg Varney‘ ones from the former channel, which seems a very odd thing to be relying on.

It would be good to know what other people think about how the channel is going to progress (or not progress) throughout the coming 12 months? for me, I think the business model has been set out very clearly, and I see very little change in it.

you forgot about that fitness belt that Peter was using and exposing his belly to us. Now maybe you mentally blocked that because we can never unsee it

 

[Duke of Cheese]

I turned the world lights out for that…

 

[SiRich]

This is not a moan it is there choice what to sell but 3 months in there still is nothing worth buying from that list. If you like cheap unknown brands/products fine, opatra might not be cheap but its very niche and style over substance with bonkers RRPs hugely discounted which only serves to cheapen it. And as has been posted here, stuff is generally cheaper elsewhere anyway.

There has been a shift to selling bargain basement items and they seem to be relying on the less savy punters to buy, there must be a lot of them out there.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

They are definitely going for the non-technical, non-Internet user older market. They seem to guide people towards the phones as a first point of ordering in priority, rather than the website. You can understand why - because anybody who is reasonably competent in online price comparing would go nowhere near them most of the time.

 

[Keep Going]

Looks like short term gain and long term pain (again) going on IW mk3 so far. Make as much as possible with as little output as possible to me.

How many times can you sell canes, batteries, light bulbs, etc and keep turning a profit with overheads, bills and wages etc?

 

[Jazzydrury]

A mixture of Sally and Jeremy this morning

 

[User 23988]

A mixture of Sally and Jeremy this morning

I bet it was cold in that caravan last night,on second thoughts she could have wrapped herself in all that bog paper she loves to sell!

 

[Duke of Cheese]

An uneasy mix.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Versus watches on now. You just need Salford and Crewe Alexandra either side of that to complete the classy look. Jacks is one of the few presenters best watched on Ceefax. She wouldn’t need to nag you at length- as soon her mouth opened you’d be off down the pub, Even Edwards becomes annoying and pushy in her relentless pressure selling company. Red roses for Valentine’s Day - £60 to £65, depending where you buy, she cackles. £20 in Tesco, luv. But don’t let facts get in the way.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

I wonder if Edwards is enjoying this new version. Based upon what I’ve seen of him, I think he deserves a lot, a lot better.

 

[Jazzydrury]

I always found Jeremy a good actor, hard to believe at 53 he doesn’t get job offers

 

[Professor Branestawm]

Is he going to rub it on his own virtually bald head? They seem to have so little new in terms of anything to sell. These beauty items, I thought, were contained to the relevant slot? Oh yes..,it’s working now…View attachment 27514

Is that a syrup? I always thought Peter’s dome was going the way of Mike’s (and mine….)

 

[Professor Branestawm]

Pedro has munched the food, they have now cut to the advert with the harp sounding music, Pedro needs to visit the bathroom by the sounds of it.

I wait only for the day he does that and leaves his microphone on. Watching the other presenters, accompanied by Pedro making, how shall we say, lavatorial noises would be the zenith of his career as an ’entertainer’…

 

[Professor Branestawm]

I still can't find any record of the "BAFTA" award he often says he won (when he'd introduce himself during watch shows on the old IW he'd say "TV's favourite, BAFTA-award winning Peter Simon"). I imagine maybe the CBBC department as a whole got some kind of award and because he was working (a bit part) in one of the gameshows they aired in the early 1990s, he assumes it's his? Idk… Strange man.

BAFTA’s site lets you search at this link

Awards - Bafta

awards.bafta.org

Ive searched ‘Peter Simon’ and nothing comes up, so I guess it can’t have been an award given to him, perhaps as you say one for the show itself.
Going Live got a BAFTA in 1993, but it was for graphics.
Live and Kicking got one in 1999, but awarded to Martin Hughes, Lucy Bowden, and Angela Sharp.

So I’m not sure what his BAFTA actually was.
B Baffled
A And
F Fairly
T Terrible
A Always
Maybe?

 

[Jazzydrury]

BAFTA’s site lets you search at this link

Awards - Bafta

awards.bafta.org

Ive searched ‘Peter Simon’ and nothing comes up, so I guess it can’t have been an award given to him, perhaps as you say one for the show itself.
Going Live got a BAFTA in 1993, but it was for graphics.
Live and Kicking got one in 1999, but awarded to Martin Hughes, Lucy Bowden, and Angela Sharp.

So I’m not sure what his BAFTA actually was.
B Baffled
A And
F Fairly
T Terrible
A Always
Maybe?

Peter I think would have been involved on Going Live back then, but when Live and Kicking won there’s, I think he has been kicked a few years before

Going Lives BAFTA award winning graphics only lasted one series, as at the end of that series, Phillip Schofield went to ITV, Sarah Greene left, BBC felt the show wasnt bigger than Schofield, and those graphics were never seen again

 

[Duke of Cheese]

AND HERE THERE ARE - The Magician of Shopping Fantasies and his apprentice. Walter and Waltina…The New Lemonade Twins…Fantastic set of promos to add to the build-up. The epitome of mediocrity. Minus 10 today, Okay..My Grandad paid double in the garden centre…