Random musings and general banter.

[Jazzydrury]

Did these comedians really use lines like Kiss My Anorak

 

[Professor Branestawm]

Les Dawson’s oppo over the washing line one?

That’s him - played Alec Gilroy in Corrie, back when Corrie was funny.
lovely bloke - a total chain smoker- but full of stories, as only someone who spent a lot of time at the edges of fame before finally making it, can be. And as Muttley said, brilliant with Les D.

 

[Professor Branestawm]

Did these comedians really use lines like Kiss My Anorak

No! Leastways I don’t think so.

Larry Grayson seems to be Peter Simon’s main inspiration. He pushed things quite close to the limit back in the 1970s. He managed to make himself a fan club out of older women, who liked the idea that here was a man who loved his mother.
Larry’s catchphrases were just a camp ‘Shut that door’ and ‘Look at all the muck in here’ ( playing on the idea that the studio wasn’t clean, but neither was the audience!)
He did claim to have a friend called ‘Everard’ and one ‘Slack Alice’ and I think that’s been Peter ‘s inspiration. Larry was Bruce Forsyth’s successor on The Generation Game,, which was BBC1’s biggest Saturday night programme for years.

Meanwhile, Peter played Ronald McDonald.

 

[Muttley]

No! Leastways I don’t think so.

Larry Grayson seems to be Peter Simon’s main inspiration. He pushed things quite close to the limit back in the 1970s. He managed to make himself a fan club out of older women, who liked the idea that here was a man who loved his mother.
Larry’s catchphrases were just a camp ‘Shut that door’ and ‘Look at all the muck in here’ ( playing on the idea that the studio wasn’t clean, but neither was the audience!)
He did claim to have a friend called ‘Everard’ and one ‘Slack Alice’ and I think that’s been Peter ‘s inspiration. Larry was Bruce Forsyth’s successor on The Generation Game,, which was BBC1’s biggest Saturday night programme for years.

Meanwhile, Peter played Ronald McDonald.

Larry Grayson came over as a gentle, quite innocent character. I heard him in a documentary say that when he was younger his house was the only one in the street who had a phone. All the old ladies would queue up, leave a few pence for the call, and he would listen fascinated by their conversation and got a lot of inspiration from that.

The old ladies loved him because he used to talk about his aches and pains and all his ailments, they could relate to that type of humour.

He was on The Good Old Days once, looked at the compare (or the conductor, can't remember), and said to the audience "he's anybody's for a doughnut". Could have sounded crude but it didn't coming from Larry.

And ultimately, Larry Grayson was funny as opposed to Peter Simon...

 

[Deleted member 21838]

We had a feeling today, Charlie, didn’t we?? We had a feeling it would be really busy. Presenter selling a 1975 flowered skirt pattern agony wagon to one viewer.. Of course we had a massive resurgence in people buying agony wagons during Lockdown- when all the f….g shops were shut…And now outsize satin pyjamas with a 56GG headless mannequin - probably auditioning for a new presenter’s spot. Presenter now walks off set, choking..

 

[Jazzydrury]

We had a feeling today, Charlie, didn’t we?? We had a feeling it would be really busy. Presenter selling a 1975 flowered skirt pattern agony wagon to one viewer.. Of course we had a massive resurgence in people buying agony wagons during Lockdown- when all the f….g shops were shut…And now outsize satin pyjamas with a 56GG headless mannequin - probably auditioning for a new presenter’s spot. Presenter now walks off set, choking..

They look flammable

 

[Deleted member 21838]

Yes. Jazzy. Most people’s first inclination upon receiving them would be to set fire to them. I’m trying to work out exactly how a person who is size 8 can wear a pair of ‘rent a tent‘ pyjamas going up to size 18?? A perfect present for Valentine’s Day, she pleads. Probably best your partner has the included mask on when you’re wearing then.

Talk about the desperate wearing the desperate..27” inside leg. Perfect for anybody who can’t see over the bar. Or for the discerning wearer of taller stature who likes a glimpse of kneecap with their pyjamas. The mannequin is called Margaret by the way.

 

[cheeky chappie]

Earlier he also said "IW is one of the biggest retailers in the UK" and, again, that's dubious.

He could, of course, argue he didn't say "the biggest" retailer, which is true. And he could also argue that "one of the biggest" doesn't have to mean "one of top 10 biggest", either.

But it feels… suspect for a channel that folded recently. More accurate would be “IW is a big retailer in the UK”, but “one of the biggest” just makes them sound like they’re duking it out with Argos, Lidl, Amazon, Boots…

Before they folded they turned over £125m and made £8m profit which is decent but absolutely dwarfed by Argos which was something like £4.1b turnover in 2022…

I would surmise, maybe wrongly, that even if their heyday, IW didn't rank as one of the UKs biggest retailers whether basing it on product choice, quantity sold, turnover, net profit, size of premises, staff numbers or a combo of them all.

I suppose in their heyday they might have been in the top x, depending on what number x was e.g. top 100.

As for the future, IW will never ever be in the top tier of anything again, bar maybe top 5 retailers for spouting misinformation, being deceitful, worse range of products etc.

They just openly spout stuff that's not true time and time again. They can't help it, it's engrained in their approach to business.

 

[Jazzydrury]

Yes. Jazzy. Most people’s first inclination upon receiving them would be to set fire to them. I’m trying to work out exactly how a person who is size 8 can wear a pair of ‘rent a tent‘ pyjamas going up to size 18?? A perfect present for Valentine’s Day, she pleads. Probably best your partner has the included mask on when you’re wearing then.

Talk about the desperate wearing the desperate..27” inside leg. Perfect for anybody who can’t see over the bar. Or for the discerning wearer of taller stature who likes a glimpse of kneecap with their pyjamas. The mannequin is called Margaret by the way.

How would she feel if Peter V bought her them

 

[SiRich]

Yes. Jazzy. Most people’s first inclination upon receiving them would be to set fire to them. I’m trying to work out exactly how a person who is size 8 can wear a pair of ‘rent a tent‘ pyjamas going up to size 18?? A perfect present for Valentine’s Day, she pleads. Probably best your partner has the included mask on when you’re wearing then.

Talk about the desperate wearing the desperate..27” inside leg. Perfect for anybody who can’t see over the bar. Or for the discerning wearer of taller stature who likes a glimpse of kneecap with their pyjamas. The mannequin is called Margaret by the way.

Just got a flashback to ‘torchy’ bigging up his obi wan kenobi /little red riding hood hoodie fleece (aka cluster fk clothing)

 

[cheeky chappie]

That’s him - played Alec Gilroy in Corrie, back when Corrie was funny.
lovely bloke - a total chain smoker- but full of stories, as only someone who spent a lot of time at the edges of fame before finally making it, can be. And as Muttley said, brilliant with Les D.

I've often thought it would be great to have a chat with entertainers (A listers all the way down to folk we've never heard of) who've been in the business for decades. As you say, the stories these folk must have would be more than interesting to hear, I love all that sort of stuff. Even hearing about day to day stuff e.g. the digs they stayed in whilst on tour, the ups and downs etc. You sometimes get snippets of it on chat shows, alas decent chat shows are a thing of the past. Regardless, not the same as being able to sit with them for an ordinary chat.

 

[Herring]

And it’s this, more than anything that really upsets me about IW.
During lockdown, a lot of people were worried about health, mortality and so on. A lot watched IW and were persuaded by claims of ‘heirloom’ and ‘needs to be insured’ etc. I’m sure some purchases will have been made with the idea of leaving something behind for others to remember them by. And I’m equally sure some of those poor souks will have passed on. At any rate, I’m now seeing some of these very watches in for repair, and I hate - absolutely hate - having to tell people they are, essentially, worthless.

I can overlook that IW flog cheap watches at an engorged prices — but hey those prices are merciful acts of charity compared to the book price, eh lucky us — but the emotional and intellectual manipulation of customers should not be allowed. In any industry it simply wouldn't be.

The pleas to legacy, the 'you must insure this', the choreographed routines to imply provenience, heritage, and value, the whole 'this is your only opportunity to own something you couldn't otherwise afford', the whole "everyone will be looking at your wrist when you walk in the room" spiel…

I often wonder how some of the people involved sleep at night, but given they have expensive houses and cars, I imagine they sleep quite soundly…

There’s one guy who spent, from memory, something like £40k on selly-telly watches. Now he’s not my customer, so far as I know, but I’d doubt the current value exceeds a few hundred. I think that selling so many to one person surely verges on the criminal - unless, of course, he really wanted the watches and went in with his eyes open. I just find that vanishingly unlikely.

I bet many of those spending that kinds of sums on selly telly watches would be unwilling to accept the 'truth' that their collection isn't as valuable as they think. They'd need to admit they'd been played.

 

[Herring]

When it comes to the watches the words "con men" feels apt for the way most of the presenters sell them.

 

[Dr Quincy MkII]

Not being able to do demonstrations shouldn't prevent the presenters giving viewers technical details of the items they're flogging now.

This doesn't appear to have occured to the likes of Dirty Peter or IW management

Yeah on that note it should be part of the written spec on the box and put on the website

 

[Hammy60]

I’ve had some real bargains from TKMaxx over the last 2-3 years. I got a Hamilton chronograph last Christmas with a Valjoux 7750 for £450, another Hamilton in bronze with an ETA 2892-1 with GMT complication and a rubber strap for £399, and a funky 60’s style square chronograph with another ETA 2892-1 with Chronograph module for £450. Always good to look just after Christmas for ones they’ve further reduced. and At those prices they definitely hold their value.
Wirth a 5 minute check on their site once a month. The Hamiltons they have are a bit pricey for me just at the moment, though…

Snap

Although i got mine 3 years ago, £599 for a Hamilton Khaki Pilot Pioneer, with the H31 movement (Base ETA/ Valjoux 7753), got that one as i kept checking TKmaxx after getting an Eterna Heritage Military 1939 Collection, ETA 2824-2 for £499 the year before.

Always check their web site every so often incase they have another bargain, occasionally between the cheap stuff they normally do, i've seen Hamilton, Tissot, Edox, Rado, Eterna (only the once though), Luminox and lately Traser. Normally it's seems to be models that are no longer available/made.

 

[Hammy60]

And I have plenty of female customers who prefer the larger watches traditionally thought of as men’s.
And my old Nan, God bless her soul, used a very large diameter watch in her later years just so she could read the face.
I do think Mike lives back in the 1970’s, sometimes, at least as far as his patter goes!

I gave my neice money a couple of years ago to buy a watch on the condition she didn't buy some overpriced Chines made fashion watch , she ended up picking a Certina Men's DS-8, she liked the 39mm men's size rather than the 33mm Ladies version.

 

[Hammy60]

And it’s this, more than anything that really upsets me about IW.
During lockdown, a lot of people were worried about health, mortality and so on. A lot watched IW and were persuaded by claims of ‘heirloom’ and ‘needs to be insured’ etc. I’m sure some purchases will have been made with the idea of leaving something behind for others to remember them by. And I’m equally sure some of those poor souks will have passed on. At any rate, I’m now seeing some of these very watches in for repair, and I hate - absolutely hate - having to tell people they are, essentially, worthless. Generally it’s cheaper for me to source a new mechanism and drop it in, because the cost of disassembly, ultrasonic cleaning, replacing parts (and the parts supply is non existent), reassembly and regulation is far, far more than the value of the watches they sold. And that happens even with the better Chinese makers. Sea-Gull, for instance sold a double retrograde movement with an open heart (I forget the model number, but I still see new ones sometimes). I had those in to fix labelled up as Louis Bolle, as Ingersoll, as Thomas Earnshaw, as Sugess, and many, many others. And I don’t think I ever encountered a more fragile watch- they used to throw their hands into the case with no provocation, and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t any Nivorox in there - perhaps rusty steel!. And they sold for anywhere between £50 and £500. And i have disassembled them so many times that I can feel my heart sinking as I see the in-box and that horrible spacer made of light grey plastic that wouldn’t disgrace a lucky bag toy soldier….
There’s one guy who spent, from memory, something like £40k on selly-telly watches. Now he’s not my customer, so far as I know, but I’d doubt the current value exceeds a few hundred. I think that selling so many to one person surely verges on the criminal - unless, of course, he really wanted the watches and went in with his eyes open. I just find that vanishingly unlikely.
Every single watch they all sell, except for the Swiss brands (Roamer, Eterna, etc), and Vostock (not my taste, but they are, at least OK in their segment) can be sourced from Ali, Etsy, E-bay, or direct from the manufacturer, generally for less than £50. The average lifespan is around 2-3 years (I remember Poljot International proudly claiming that their average watch lasted 10 years, and at least they were- and are - real watchmakers).
But you can see why they all sell them when you think of purchase prices around £20 and sale prices around £200. I don’t know of any other industry, except maybe optical where glasses have a similar markup, where that can happen.

Yeah that's another thing that's never mentioned on shows, especially with them delving into the Chinese Tourbillon watches, cost of servicing and whether the watch is actually worth servicing or buying a new watch instead. As you've said most of the watches available on IW aren't worth servicing and just bin jobs, more econimical buy another watch.

 

[Hammy60]

Great catch, Pat. The accounts are filed as a micro company. That means the company ‘Duchamp’, by law, has to meet two of the three following criteria:
1. turnover of £632,000 or less;
2. assets of £316,000 or less;
3. 10 employees or less.

Its not exactly Patek Phillippe, now, is it?

That can't be right Peter said they were a luxury brand that originate 40 years ago in Mendrisio, Switzerland.

 

[cheeky chappie]

I kid you not, I've just gone on to the YT feed and scrolled back stopping at a random point. There's Gen flogging faux fur boots (they're evidently SLIPPERS) for £9.99. This is what I heard ...

Ya noooo, these remind me of those Australian boots and shoes, I can't say the name o' them, they're sheepskin an all that, right. They're doing slippers at the moment for £139 (smirk to camera) for a pair o' slippers!

I suspect, even though there's a debate to be had about some branded goods taking the p1ss with their pricing, that EMU products are made with better materials than the £9.99 IW ones. And whilst appreciating not everyone can afford tier 1 brands these days, I'm sure when possible folk would sooner give a pair of EMU slippers as a gift than an unbranded pair that cost a tenner.

IW products have their place but PLEASE stop with this comparison with higher priced products that will in the majority of cases be better in almost all aspects including buyer/recipient appeal. Of course they won't stop, they love linking cheap tat to quality goods, but we can dream can't we?

EDIT: I wonder if Gen got a gig on QVC and they were flogging EMU products if she'd say they were overpriced ...

 

[user 17461]

Someone's flirting with Shona by text. I can't tell if they're extracting the urine or not: I feel like someone's slipped LSD into my coffee