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Silver Fox said:
It takes someone who has been there in debt to worn others and the dangers of going there £60 in interest on a daily basis! Ballerina to get out of that you have to be congratulated & have a real need to warn others. Even if I have a spending spree and I am using small amounts and the money is in the bank to cover it so it is not a problem.The way some of these people spend there is no way they can cover it on a month to month basis.There are regulars on there at £40 here £60 there etc.they just shrug it off smiling talking about their recent buy!There is a woman gushing about a ‘Happy bear’ by far from an essential purchase and she seems to feature quite frequently on Qurio,whoever is meeting the cost must have deep pockets or other problems, who knows?
Click to expand...
Some "professions" pay well ;) (Not that I'd know) lol!
 
Silver Fox said:
It takes someone who has been there in debt to worn others and the dangers of going there £60 in interest on a daily basis! Ballerina to get out of that you have to be congratulated & have a real need to warn others. Even if I have a spending spree and I am using small amounts and the money is in the bank to cover it so it is not a problem.The way some of these people spend there is no way they can cover it on a month to month basis.There are regulars on there at £40 here £60 there etc.they just shrug it off smiling talking about their recent buy!There is a woman gushing about a ‘Happy bear’ by far from an essential purchase and she seems to feature quite frequently on Qurio,whoever is meeting the cost must have deep pockets or other problems, who knows?
Click to expand...
Hello again,

Sorry for another long post. I feel like I was in "hiding" with my story for so long, saying nothing and now I am blurting it all out like diarrhea! I will shut up after this if it is annoying anybody.

I really hope that I can help someone, even just one person would be fantastic. I have lived in shame for years, even though I have been debt free for over 8 now. I was living in cloud cuckoo land, blatant denial and awful fear at the same time. I was ignorant of the exact figure I owed, just became lazy and didn't want to see the total. I even stopped opening my statements. I took out another credit card to pay off another (several times) but then ran the old one up again, so I just had more maxed out cards. By the time I decided to get a grip and actually get my head out of my arse, I actually threw up. No exaggeration, I broke into a cold sweat, I was shaking and threw up. My total was £44,288 rounded to the nearest £ That was so far, remember, every month is a bigger number

I came clean to my husband, I really didn't know what he would say. To my amazement, he said that he could remortgage because we had a lot of equity and the house is actually in his name. I said "thank you but no" because based on my habit of getting more cards and running up the old ones, I thought I would probably just continue my pattern and eventually spend the house. He agreed and said he would support me any way that he could. What a great feeling to know that I am so very loved.

We did a bit of research and found lots of debt management companies offering to wipe out debts. There are some that are genuine but the majority are scams and will lead you into more debt and do absolutely nothing to actually help you. It is a license to print money from people who are desperate. We found a wonderful charity called CCCS (consumer credit counselling service). I think they have changed their name to Step Change. I took the plunge and called. They booked a call with me for a few days later when I would be home and my husband took time off to be there with me. The call lasted for about 2 hours and was very thorough. They emailed me prior with a detailed list of everything I would need have to hand during the call, so it was very well organised.

There are different routes you can take, depending on your circumstances. In my case, I was working and I acknowledged that I was prepared to pay my debts. I was not trying to go bankrupt or wriggle out of paying. They said to immediately cancel all direct debits and standing orders to protect my money. If I wanted to (my choice), I could sent a cheque for £5 to each creditor and I had a template letter provided ny CCCS, with my client reference number to accompany the cheque. I decided to do all those things. I was warned to expect a backlash and not to be persuaded to part with so much as £1

Within days, the **** hit the fan! I was bombarded with calls, ever insistant, increasingly demanding to the point of bullying tactics. After a few months things became less daunting. The CCCS contacted all of them on my behalf and negotiated monthly payments. I paid CCCS each month, they distributed the monies and sent me monthly statements, the totals started to get lower, yay!! Some of them suspended interest on the debt, some reduced it and just one tried to play hardball, threatened court action and so on. I said they could take me to court, a reasonable offer had been made based on the calculations of the CCCS. They backed down. My credit rating was in the toilet but I no longer cared. The ones charging the most interest got a bigger slice of the pie, to pay them off quicker and one by one, they were settled and the accounts closed. Working a lot of overtime helped as I was able to send CCCS more each month. It was such a liberating feeling I can tell you. At first, I felt guilty at not paying the interest but CCCS told me not to feel bad. The creditors have made a mint out of you for years and I was paying them back in full. We worked out that it would have taken me 57 years to pay it on my own (so basically never) with the interest accruing at minimum £60 a day and remember, interest rates will rise at some point. I did it in 7 years and 8 months.

Sorry again for the long post but if I can help anybody at all it will make me so happy. I know there are an awful lot of people out there in closets (not yet ready to speak out) like I was and some who owe larger sums, have no home equity and to boot, some are losing their jobs. Remember, it is only money. Never be tempted to self harm. The creditors will continue on with, or without your money. YOU are what matters.

Ballerina xx
 
Ballerina said:
Hello again,

Sorry for another long post. I feel like I was in "hiding" with my story for so long, saying nothing and now I am blurting it all out like diarrhea! I will shut up after this if it is annoying anybody.

I really hope that I can help someone, even just one person would be fantastic. I have lived in shame for years, even though I have been debt free for over 8 now. I was living in cloud cuckoo land, blatant denial and awful fear at the same time. I was ignorant of the exact figure I owed, just became lazy and didn't want to see the total. I even stopped opening my statements. I took out another credit card to pay off another (several times) but then ran the old one up again, so I just had more maxed out cards. By the time I decided to get a grip and actually get my head out of my arse, I actually threw up. No exaggeration, I broke into a cold sweat, I was shaking and threw up. My total was £44,288 rounded to the nearest £ That was so far, remember, every month is a bigger number

I came clean to my husband, I really didn't know what he would say. To my amazement, he said that he could remortgage because we had a lot of equity and the house is actually in his name. I said "thank you but no" because based on my habit of getting more cards and running up the old ones, I thought I would probably just continue my pattern and eventually spend the house. He agreed and said he would support me any way that he could. What a great feeling to know that I am so very loved.

We did a bit of research and found lots of debt management companies offering to wipe out debts. There are some that are genuine but the majority are scams and will lead you into more debt and do absolutely nothing to actually help you. It is a license to print money from people who are desperate. We found a wonderful charity called CCCS (consumer credit counselling service). I think they have changed their name to Step Change. I took the plunge and called. They booked a call with me for a few days later when I would be home and my husband took time off to be there with me. The call lasted for about 2 hours and was very thorough. They emailed me prior with a detailed list of everything I would need have to hand during the call, so it was very well organised.

There are different routes you can take, depending on your circumstances. In my case, I was working and I acknowledged that I was prepared to pay my debts. I was not trying to go bankrupt or wriggle out of paying. They said to immediately cancel all direct debits and standing orders to protect my money. If I wanted to (my choice), I could sent a cheque for £5 to each creditor and I had a template letter provided ny CCCS, with my client reference number to accompany the cheque. I decided to do all those things. I was warned to expect a backlash and not to be persuaded to part with so much as £1

Within days, the **** hit the fan! I was bombarded with calls, ever insistant, increasingly demanding to the point of bullying tactics. After a few months things became less daunting. The CCCS contacted all of them on my behalf and negotiated monthly payments. I paid CCCS each month, they distributed the monies and sent me monthly statements, the totals started to get lower, yay!! Some of them suspended interest on the debt, some reduced it and just one tried to play hardball, threatened court action and so on. I said they could take me to court, a reasonable offer had been made based on the calculations of the CCCS. They backed down. My credit rating was in the toilet but I no longer cared. The ones charging the most interest got a bigger slice of the pie, to pay them off quicker and one by one, they were settled and the accounts closed. Working a lot of overtime helped as I was able to send CCCS more each month. It was such a liberating feeling I can tell you. At first, I felt guilty at not paying the interest but CCCS told me not to feel bad. The creditors have made a mint out of you for years and I was paying them back in full. We worked out that it would have taken me 57 years to pay it on my own (so basically never) with the interest accruing at minimum £60 a day and remember, interest rates will rise at some point. I did it in 7 years and 8 months.

Sorry again for the long post but if I can help anybody at all it will make me so happy. I know there are an awful lot of people out there in closets (not yet ready to speak out) like I was and some who owe larger sums, have no home equity and to boot, some are losing their jobs. Remember, it is only money. Never be tempted to self harm. The creditors will continue on with, or without your money. YOU are what matters.

Ballerina xx
Click to expand...
I know this is a short answer to a long and heartfelt post - but as somebody, like myself who is now "sorted out" Is it not true that we can buy all the lovely things that we need and the occasional treat and feel a lot richer for it?
I get a bigger buzz nowadays reaching for that dress, or any outfit for that matter, that I've washed and worn so many times, it's become an "old friend", or popping on that piece of jewellery I've had for years that goes with everything. I get so much more satisfaction nowadays, more than any amount of parcels full of promises could ever bring (containing things that usually end up getting hung up, or chucked in the jewellery box and never looked at).
You are very brave admitting just how deep your debt became, and I applaud you for that and if makes one person sit up and think, then that's pretty good!
I think a lot of the Qurio community would be better off reading this forum than wasting their time and money on Q !
 
Gosh Ballerina you have been very brave posting and I applaud you so much for confronting your debt and for paying it off. It is very easy to get carried away buying online and not thinking through whether there is enough money to pay for the goods when they arrive. I wish you all the very best and you sound like you have a marvellous husband too. x
 
Ballerina said:
I adore Christmas and getting together with as many of my family as possible. Difficult, being of Swedish and Irish families as they live abroad. I like to stay home, not venture out a lot but I try to see my 2 girls. I am a nurse and have always worked the major days over the Christmas period for most of my life. However, I do not see that we all have to spend to excess to enjoy the season and we don't, we keep it simple. Even when the girls were little, we never went to town over indulging them, I think it makes for spoiled, entitled brats.

Essay alert!

However, as for my spending habits, well, that is a sad story! About 10 years ago, no idea why, nothing major happened to me in my life but I developed a shopping addiction / bad habit. I bought an awful lot of stuff from QVC and other outlets besides. Much of it crap! I kidded myself that I would enjoy making cards and crafting as a new hobby and I really went stupid, buying a ton of stuff. To this day, I have 5 very large plastic storage boxes (the ones the size of a 5 year old) and they are full of this *****, much of it unused. I spent a fortune and needless to say, it 'aint worth jack. One day, I may sell it on ebay but more likely I will give it to charity as I am sick of looking at it. I wanted to dump it all last year but the charity shops here were not able to receive donations, understandably due to Covid.

So, quite apart from the impact on my home being full of clutter, there is the more serious impact on my finances. I was buying so much stuff across the board, craft, clothes, jewellery, homewares etc... I got myself into a pickle. Credit cards, overdrawn at the bank, easy pays (not so easy in fact, especially when you have a lot and they start to bounce). I was previously a sensible and financially responsible woman but I totally lost control, so I know that it is really very easy to do. I work, I am a nurse, not bad money but I was spending 2 - 2.5 x my salary and obviously, that isn't sustainable. I am so lucky that I have a brilliant husband, he paid the mortgage (halleluia that is done now), so there was really no excuse for my mad spending. He says he was enabling me and I think he was right. I ordered so many things, packages were arriving daily, building up unopened for weeks. The postman used to comment on the number of parcels and my name was known as a regular at the main sorting office. If I had to collect carded item, they knew me and my husband by sight. I was ashamed and embarrassed at my behaviour.

I had to get a grip because I couldn't sustain a spending habit like that. It took me about 18 months to get my finances in order and I did a lot of overtime I started to see items I was tempted by and thought "how many hours would I have to work to pay for this?" Quite sobering! I couldn't stop spending cold turkey, I tried at least 3 times and failed. So, I began to budget for what I could spend each month and had to factor in a fair amount to pay off the debt I had run up. Thank f**k, it was a success! I paid off the debt mountain and now I have savings, yippee!!

Yes, I still watch selly telly because I enjoy it. However, I rarely buy now. A little from QVC, 5 items this year and absolutely never use easy pay. If I can't afford it in full, I don't buy it Never buy from Ideal World and Gemporia are a bunch of shisters I would never send another penny in their direction (or any of their sister channels) Can't abide Steve Bennett, disengenuous to say the very least :-(

I wanted to share this long and embarrassing story because I know I was not alone in my problem and that there are other people out there who are caught up in this horrible predicament. It is self-made, I would as never dispute that but it is an addiction. I hope anyone who is going through hell because of their addiction can get a grip, self help, counselling, whatever it takes. Quiro is feeding ego's, both the posters and QVC's, as well as actively encouraging irresponsible financial behaviour . We don't need to buy crap to impress people we don't know or care about! I do laugh at Qurio but behind the smile a little voice is saying "hang on, this is so wrong".

Sorry this was a mega post, it did take a bit of courage but I hope it may reach out to someone, even one person.

Ballerina xx
Click to expand...
What were your 5 qvc purchases this year? X
 
merryone said:
I know this is a short answer to a long and heartfelt post - but as somebody, like myself who is now "sorted out" Is it not true that we can buy all the lovely things that we need and the occasional treat and feel a lot richer for it?
I get a bigger buzz nowadays reaching for that dress, or any outfit for that matter, that I've washed and worn so many times, it's become an "old friend", or popping on that piece of jewellery I've had for years that goes with everything. I get so much more satisfaction nowadays, more than any amount of parcels full of promises could ever bring (containing things that usually end up getting hung up, or chucked in the jewellery box and never looked at).
You are very brave admitting just how deep your debt became, and I applaud you for that and if makes one person sit up and think, then that's pretty good!
I think a lot of the Qurio community would be better off reading this forum than wasting their time and money on Q !
Click to expand...
Yes, I agree with you 100%. It is a sweet feeling to be able to buy what you want and have treats as well. Just like the dress that is your old friend. We should have fun with our money, we can't take it with us, not even in travelllers cheques I am sad to say. Getting treats is good for our mental health, dopamine levels rise and you feel happy. Bliddy dopamine, it's what gets you hooked on feeling happy but it's temporary. Addictions like shopping, gambling, ***, why the hell wasn't I addicted to that? LOL

I admit that I still have a lot of un-needed crap that I was tempted into believing I needed or even "derserved" as I was told by the tat peddlers. It's their job and I had a choice but I know I made the wrong choices. Not just QVC but them along with Gemstv / Gemporia and whatever they will be called next were my main fixes.

The Bennett family have had a small fortune out of me. Not saying it is all crap. I have some lovely pieces (so far no stones have fallen out!) but I have got close on 200 items that I don't wear, don't really see what I liked about them in the first place. Paul tells me to have a clearout, we don't need the cash but he knows it makes me angry at myself when I even look at it all. I keep it in a seperate jewellery box now to avoid pi$$ing myself off> Kind of funny in a way but still. To be honest, a lot of it is not high value but I wouldn't want to ebay it because I only sell decent stuff and wouldn't even try to pass this off as decent quality. He says just make up lucky bags and distribute them around charity shops, somebody will want them and it does a bit of good locally. I think that's what I will do, I want it out of my life, like the craft stuff and clothes I wouldn't wear in a hundred years. I feel like I have had some of them that long LOL

I personally suspect many of the fawning customers posting on Qurio are racking up debts, sooner or later, you gotta pay up and let's hope that they can pay, I really mean that. Like you say, £40 here £60 there +++++ easy pays. At some point it isn't so easy and you are buying groceries on credit because there is no money in the bank. If anybody reads this and wants to mail me privately, please don't be shy, even if just to offload. This is a great community because we all like shopping on here, me included!

Ballerina x
 
Happyswift said:
What were your 5 qvc purchases this year? X
Click to expand...
Let's see. I bought a diamonique pendant, a Tova one. Only one of her pieces I have but I really like enamelling on jewellery. A Nina Leonard dress, again 1st of this brand and not bad quality, good fit. Lola Rose necklace and bracelet set in rose quartz, overpriced like all LR but a nice design. A Kitchenaid hand whisk, last month. Paul was like how much for a whisk, should we get you an appointment with the GP?? Yup, probably not my most savvy purchase! Also last month, a Cozee Home duvet set. It is on AO and I think due to be dipached on Monday coming. Never tried CH before, so we will see if it was a good buy or not.

That is it, nothing else. I think I have spent just under £410, including the exorbitant p&p charges. No pointless returns this year. if the CH doesn't work out I will be donating it to charity because I would rather they made some cash, than Royal Mail.

Ballerina x
 
I remember in the early to mid 00s the credit card companies were nearly throwing cards at you. My first credit card had a limit of £200 which I cleared each month if I spent, then suddenly it was upped to £500 I did not even ask.

Store cards with their ultra-high interest rates, even worse they counted on you not paying off each month. M&S were the worst you couldn't go into the food hall for a sandwich without being offered their card. I used to tell them I was bankrupt, no I wasn't, but it shut them up. It wasn't the till staff's fault they were told to do it. A had a friend who worked in Debenhams and their manager had a score board up on the staff room wall. She said they had pep talks from him saying "Your job could depend on how many cards you sign up each month!"
 
I used to do quite a lot of brickwork, so to make it easier I bought a "Brickie" from IW but have never needed to do any brickwork since buying it, so it kis still in its box.

I also did crafts, so I also bought a very versatile cutting machine that could make all sorts of cuts (also from IW I think) and have never used it! And it was quite expensive too.

Credit cards are so easy to buy things with, but even though I've had one since they first came out (remember ACCESS?) I've ALWAYS paid them off on time so never had to pay any interest.
 
My credit card limit was so high I was terrified if lost just how much someone could take me for so I tried to get it reduced but it was impossible even though it was paid off every single month.

If I am making a very very expensive purchase I use it for protection but transfer the money before I make the purchase so I'm sure it is definitely paid on time.
 
loveallthingsitalian said:
My credit card limit was so high I was terrified if lost just how much someone could take me for so I tried to get it reduced but it was impossible even though it was paid off every single month.

If I am making a very very expensive purchase I use it for protection but transfer the money before I make the purchase so I'm sure it is definitely paid on time.
Click to expand...
Nowadays mine is taken from my bank by the credit card company by direct debit so I can't miss a payment.
 
donna255 said:
I remember in the early to mid 00s the credit card companies were nearly throwing cards at you. My first credit card had a limit of £200 which I cleared each month if I spent, then suddenly it was upped to £500 I did not even ask.

Store cards with their ultra-high interest rates, even worse they counted on you not paying off each month. M&S were the worst you couldn't go into the food hall for a sandwich without being offered their card. I used to tell them I was bankrupt, no I wasn't, but it shut them up. It wasn't the till staff's fault they were told to do it. A had a friend who worked in Debenhams and their manager had a score board up on the staff room wall. She said they had pep talks from him saying "Your job could depend on how many cards you sign up each month!"
Click to expand...
Very true Donna,

They were all falling over themselves to get you to take out their storecards. I had lots. Infact, the 1 company that tried to push me all the way to court was M&S. In Laura Ashley I was told by the sales assistant that encouraged me to get their card, she got £1 for every card she sold and they kept a tally / target white board in the office. So what you say is absolutely true. The "I'm bankrupt" is pure genius, i am going to adopt that one myself LOL x
 
Ballerina said:
Let's see. I bought a diamonique pendant, a Tova one. Only one of her pieces I have but I really like enamelling on jewellery. A Nina Leonard dress, again 1st of this brand and not bad quality, good fit. Lola Rose necklace and bracelet set in rose quartz, overpriced like all LR but a nice design. A Kitchenaid hand whisk, last month. Paul was like how much for a whisk, should we get you an appointment with the GP?? Yup, probably not my most savvy purchase! Also last month, a Cozee Home duvet set. It is on AO and I think due to be dipached on Monday coming. Never tried CH before, so we will see if it was a good buy or not.

That is it, nothing else. I think I have spent just under £410, including the exorbitant p&p charges. No pointless returns this year. if the CH doesn't work out I will be donating it to charity because I would rather they made some cash, than Royal Mail.

Ballerina x
Click to expand...
Thanks for your response, I'm nosey.

I love cozee home, what was the item number for your advanced order? Fleece or velvetsoft? Xx
 
loveallthingsitalian said:
My credit card limit was so high I was terrified if lost just how much someone could take me for so I tried to get it reduced but it was impossible even though it was paid off every single month.

If I am making a very very expensive purchase I use it for protection but transfer the money before I make the purchase so I'm sure it is definitely paid on time.
Click to expand...
You, Donna and Stratto have it right, use it for big purchases for protection and clear it before you get interest added. However, you are financially responsile people and that actually makes you undesirable to credit and storecards. They want people who don't pay the card off every month because that is the customer they make the £££ on. I have a credit card gathering dust in the safe and can't remember wben I last used it. I won't cancel it because we don't know what will happen in life. My husband Paul has a card with a fairly high limit, which we use for expensive items and pay off. However, if my lovely man dropped off the twig tomorrow (I see it all the time as I am an ITU nurse and life is cruel), I would be up **** creek without a paddle because it isn't my card. So, good to have a flexible friend as Stratto says Access, just in case. x
 

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