Moissanite overtured by Shakespeare

[shopperholic]

Meant to say I would never be so cruel to any animal including a terrapin, blimey it would scar the poor bugger for life if he went within three miles of PP shorts :mysmilie_8:

 

[Greg]

I had this awful image of Peter Simon wearing one of those girly t-shirts that only go down just below the chest with a grey/ginger treasure trail snaking down to his tight shorts they used to wear 1980s...

Peter then minces/struts up to each Vibrapower going:

"Do you want my Easypay ladies?"

"I could put my Nutribullet goodness right into you!"

"Oh, I could so suck up my juices with a Karcher right now!"




....nurse, double meds for me tonight

 

[shopperholic]

I had this awful image of Peter Simon wearing one of those girly t-shirts that only go down just below the chest with a grey/ginger treasure trail snaking down to his tight shorts they used to wear 1980s...

Peter then minces/struts up to each Vibrapower going:

"Do you want my Easypay ladies?"

"I could put my Nutribullet goodness right into you!"

"Oh, I could so suck up my juices with a Karcher right now!"




....nurse, double meds for me tonight

When he starts tempting us with his (Moissanite) ring, that's when we run for the hills!..........would you like a glass of water to take your meds with? :mysmilie_505:

 

[Greg]

When he starts tempting us with his (Moissanite) ring, that's when we run for the hills!..........would you like a glass of water to take your meds with? :mysmilie_505:

If he starts singing All Things Bright and Beautiful....."...the purple headed mountain...." I will need to be administered a syringe full of horse tranquillisers!

 

[shopperholic]

If he starts singing All Things Bright and Beautiful....."...the purple headed mountain...." I will need to be administered a syringe full of horse tranquillisers!

I'm on it!

 

[mossie269]

shopperholic a rather unfortunate remark in the context of PS:mysmilie_14:

 

[shopperholic]

shopperholic a rather unfortunate remark in the context of PS:mysmilie_14:

Euw!!!!! Take it back!!! Noooooo see what he's done to us?! Everything's an innuendo!!...............damn you Peter Simon!! :mysmilie_10:

 

[mossie269]

I am sure he will get the point if he reads this:mysmilie_14:

 

[historymystery]

shopperholic, Oh heck, I'm going to have to stop reading this thread when I've just had a swig of tea or coffee...I'm spitting it out with laughter. We are getting too risqué (or "too risky" as Pete himself might say) - more decorum, please. I now cannot get the image out of my mind of Pete in shorts showing us his legs like sparrows elbows, and sitting on a cycle winking and leering at the camera....I thought he'd reached new depths with the Holy Stones jewellery (or whatever it was called), which must be due for a comeback, surely? Can you picture him and Our Bet on a bicycle made for two, as the song goes?

You're right he is full of hot air, I believe Richard Branson has hired him to blow (now! now!) up his balloons (stop it! ) yep, we're definitely getting worse than him, I was going to say he's rubbing off on us, but we'd be back on the medication with that mental image................as for wind, none can out do PP, he's one massive fart.

 

[shopperholic]

shopperholic, Oh heck, I'm going to have to stop reading this thread when I've just had a swig of tea or coffee...I'm spitting it out with laughter. We are getting too risqué (or "too risky" as Pete himself might say) - more decorum, please. I now cannot get the image out of my mind of Pete in shorts showing us his legs like sparrows elbows, and sitting on a cycle winking and leering at the camera....I thought he'd reached new depths with the Holy Stones jewellery (or whatever it was called), which must be due for a comeback, surely? Can you picture him and Our Bet on a bicycle made for two, as the song goes?

I remember on BidTv when he actually shed a tear over a piece of glass that he said could take all your worries away, funny that Safestyle UK weren't as understanding when I stood in front of their office window...........nope, standing in front of all that glass never took my worries away, obviously it was only BidTvs over priced glass tat must work for.

 

[Greg]

shopperholic, Oh heck, I'm going to have to stop reading this thread when I've just had a swig of tea or coffee...I'm spitting it out with laughter. We are getting too risqué (or "too risky" as Pete himself might say) - more decorum, please. I now cannot get the image out of my mind of Pete in shorts showing us his legs like sparrows elbows, and sitting on a cycle w*nking and leering at the camera....I thought he'd reached new depths with the Holy Stones jewellery (or whatever it was called), which must be due for a comeback, surely? Can you picture him and Our Bet on a bicycle made for two, as the song goes?

:mysmilie_10:

 

[historymystery]

:mysmilie_19::mysmilie_15::Greg & shopperholic, Lol! He would, as well!!! I wouldn't put much past him, would you?

:mysmilie_10:

 

[shopperholic]

:mysmilie_19::mysmilie_15::Greg & shopperholic, Lol! He would, as well!!! I wouldn't put much past him, would you?

Nope, I wondered what the little winker was doing with his hands! I thought he was adjusting the seat!! oh I think I'm going to throw up uke:

 

[steveh31]

Clearly Human Resources at IW don't offer training on how to deal with the public and your colleages appropriately (ie not sexually molest them on live TV). I was a former civil servant and we often had to undergo training like that.

As a former civil servant of 15 years I do not remember this training...I cannot remember being told "don't molest your colleagues on live tv", you must have been in some weird closed door department.:mysmilie_59:

 

[shopperholic]

As a former civil servant of 15 years I do not remember this training...I cannot remember being told "don't molest your colleagues on live tv", you must have been in some weird closed door department.:mysmilie_59:

Well the fact that it's common sense and decency anyway not to invade your colleagues space with sexual innuendos and physically touching them, yes you do get told this whilst training by any Human Resource department, not in those exact words but a good as, maybe you just wasn't taught properly. :mysmilie_62:

 

[historymystery]

shopperholic and Steveh31, now you've given me an idea............Pope Peter as a training resource! Well, you've got to admit, it's considerably better than "death by Powerpoint presentation" at training sessions? As a former Civil Servant myself (definitely not in a closed door department, but one where the public visited in often fairly traumatic circumstances for them) we were given training in dealing with the public, but it's only now I realise that certain topics weren't covered. For example, 1) when quoting fees or charges, always attempt to mislead, by quoting only one-third of the cost, forgetting to say they also have to pay the rest of it later 2) never mention post & packing charges - everyone's rich enough not to mind 3) to muster as much sympathy as possible and to play on the emotions of the vulnerable, always have gut-wrenchingly maudlin music playing in the background, quote a load of tosh and non-words, adapt the words of "Bridge Over Troubled Water" - but of course mix up the words so they don't make sense - smirk, and lower your voice whilst doing so 4) invent a 'flexible' parent, who is sometimes dead, sometimes alive, depending on circumstances, as this always gets the sympathy vote 5) Regularly refer to Our Bet, who may be a colleague, Line Manager, partner, cat, python or figment of your own imagination. To finish the session, a short video of Pope Peter doing what he does best (presenting on IW - not what you were thinking or saying, wash out your mouths with soap and water!). This would then be followed by a discussion of "what have I learnt from today?". Responses we are looking for include: (a) "how fragile my bladder is when I laugh hysterically", b)"how to use the words Not Only to best effect", (c) how much time it takes to clean up my chair and the floor after (a), (d) not to eat before watching a Pope Pete presentation, as projectile vomiting isn't pleasant

Well the fact that it's common sense and decency anyway not to invade your colleagues space with sexual innuendos and physically touching them, yes you do get told this whilst training by any Human Resource department, not in those exact words but a good as, maybe you just wasn't taught properly. :mysmilie_62:

 

[shopperholic]

History when you compact it like that, just shows you that not only is he ripe for ridicule and a charicature of all thing camp, on a more serious note, he is deceiving the customers and IW don't give a toss (which is PPs department, being a tosser) they're also allowing it to continue, you can take the man out of Bid...........

 

[historymystery]

shopperholic, I'm seriously worried about the Holy Stones jewellery (or whatever it's called, but you know what I mean). I haven't spotted it for ages now, and am concerned that they've used the stones for "other purposes". If any of you folks out there have bought a job lot to use as gravel for your garden, you can flippin' well give them back. Don't you realise how long it took to dig up the M25 in the first place, not to mention picking out the bits of tarmac and then setting them in plated jewellery? Honestly, some people have no cultural awareness..

History when you compact it like that, just shows you that not only is he ripe for ridicule and a charicature of all thing camp, on a more serious note, he is deceiving the customers and IW don't give a toss (which is PPs department, being a tosser) they're also allowing it to continue, you can take the man out of Bid...........

 

[shopperholic]

You're right History, I mean look how passionate PP he is about Moissanite, reduces the poor bugger to tears! The mans very passionate about invaluable, worthless cut glass, whoever took them should hang their heads in shame! :mysmilie_10:

 

[Muttley]

As a former civil servant of 15 years I do not remember this training...I cannot remember being told "don't molest your colleagues on live tv", you must have been in some weird closed door department.:mysmilie_59:

It wasn't quite like that! I worked as a civilian for the Met Police and during the 1990s had quite a bit of training. One of the sessions was partially about treating other cultures with respect and understanding how other people live their lives, but also about treating people in the workplace with dignity. If I recall all staff were required to do this training.