miss molly
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The weddings I have been too we have always had a three course hot meal :mysmilie_5:
Let it go Kathy
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loveallthingsitalian
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The important word there is a BIT not weeks and weeks and as I said it is the whole Q thing which I find distasteful.
I'm fed up with Ali K, every show she either mentions her wedding or her wedding/engagement ring. Does anyone else wonder why the engagement ring was real diamond and not diamonique as we are always being told that they are so good and could be an engagement ring etc
T
thatu
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One of the best weddings we've been to was a registry wedding with a meal served by Buddhist monks (really!) followed by a drop-in party with afternoon-into-evening snacks at home and a good old knees-up with a ukulele band in a marquee in the back garden. Brilliant atmosphere!
loveallthingsitalian
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Even in 1971 my wedding preparations were a turmoil so what must it be like now with all the extra must haves.
Everyone I know who has been to a casual wedding has enjoyed it immensely and remembers it fondly whereas all the formal ones have only been remembered for their stress.
I always say that you are not any more or any less married just a bigger party and overdraft.
Some years ago a local big shot posh wedding ended in a fight and with the father of the bride putting the place into lockdown and calling for the solicitor to "get down here damn quick". That overdraft lasted longer than the wedding!
Everyone I know who has been to a casual wedding has enjoyed it immensely and remembers it fondly whereas all the formal ones have only been remembered for their stress.
I always say that you are not any more or any less married just a bigger party and overdraft.
Some years ago a local big shot posh wedding ended in a fight and with the father of the bride putting the place into lockdown and calling for the solicitor to "get down here damn quick". That overdraft lasted longer than the wedding!
historymystery
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So right, loveall. I don't find any marriage break-up amusing, but in my experience of family, friends and colleagues, it's very often the ones where people spend zadzillions on a big affair that break-ups occur within a few years (in one case of a former work colleague, who had a simply huge stately home venue wedding a few years back - expensive presents on the tables for EVERY guest, flowers for all lady guests, expensive favours on the tables, free bar, etc. etc. - the marriage was over 5 months later and they were living apart!). In some cases, after the huge wedding and all the pre-wedding preparations beforehand there's a 'slump' of going back to normality and mundane everyday life after the event, and this causes a huge sense of anti-climax. After all, marriage is about ALL the future days of your life, not just one day. Seems to me some people focus far too much on the wedding day, and not their life afterwards as a couple. Personally, I thoroughly enjoyed going to a work colleague's wedding a few years ago where we went to the local pub afterwards for a sandwich lunch, and then people went home. The wedding was great, the pub made us all so welcome and a good time was had by all. OH (who like many men does not enjoy putting on a suit) said afterwards "great - why can't more weddings be like that one?"
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loveallthingsitalian
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I wasn't making fun of any marriage breaking up.
It just seems now that the focus is on the party and less on the marriage. Who needs the extra stress of a mighty loan to cover one day in what will hopefully be a long relationship.
It just seems now that the focus is on the party and less on the marriage. Who needs the extra stress of a mighty loan to cover one day in what will hopefully be a long relationship.
PrussianRed
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Oh yes, give me the informal weddings any day!
My big sister got married in 1970 and she had a buffet in our 'local' pub, which was quite big with a nice garden. It was lovely.
One of the best I went to was a cousin's, who married a Greek girl, traditional Greek reception with her brothers' band as entertainment - no plate smashing though!
I hate standing around for hours for the interminable photo taking and formal reception greetings, speeches etc, etc.
Kathy's daughter's wedding looked lovely, as I haven't watched QVC for weeks, have missed out on all the hype...
My big sister got married in 1970 and she had a buffet in our 'local' pub, which was quite big with a nice garden. It was lovely.
One of the best I went to was a cousin's, who married a Greek girl, traditional Greek reception with her brothers' band as entertainment - no plate smashing though!
I hate standing around for hours for the interminable photo taking and formal reception greetings, speeches etc, etc.
Kathy's daughter's wedding looked lovely, as I haven't watched QVC for weeks, have missed out on all the hype...
T
thatu
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OH and I were the only guests at a friend's wedding and the four of us went out for a meal afterwards. It was all done in a very friendly way, the registrar was lovely and no money was squandered on the day. The only thing they had to confront was their respective families, who had no idea they'd got married, but that seems to have gone off well, too, with no huge dramas.
DunmowDizzy
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DH and I got married in a RO and pub lunch reception with only our parents as guests. Never regretted it and almost 20 years later still happily married.
I think sometimes that those who had the biggest most expensive weddings maybe wouldn't have even made it to the altar except that they felt the investment in the forthcoming wedding was so great there was no going back. Initially they may feel engagement isn't such a huge commitment to get out of but once huge deposits have been paid and weddings books a couple of years ahead it suddenly is just easier to see it through.
I think sometimes that those who had the biggest most expensive weddings maybe wouldn't have even made it to the altar except that they felt the investment in the forthcoming wedding was so great there was no going back. Initially they may feel engagement isn't such a huge commitment to get out of but once huge deposits have been paid and weddings books a couple of years ahead it suddenly is just easier to see it through.
I've been married 33 years and yes it was the old Pub and Registry type 'do' and no, we didn't live together first just a lot of sleepovers!
I've had 2 friends who've divorced and oddly enough both lived with their Partners for lengthy amounts before marriage - one for 13 years before marrying (marriage lasted 18 months) another 7 years (marriage lasted 2 years).
I may be wrong, but it seems to me that if you haven't gotten married after a reasonable amount of time, then it's because either one - or both of you - don't want to be married.
In both my friends cases, there was one partner who was always saying that they'd 'get married one day' and the other agreeing. Even more bizarre is the fact that the one who kept saying it was the one who called it a day in both marriages. Maybe they were just trying to convince themselves that they wanted to be married? Either way, that piece of paper makes more difference than you'd think...
I've had 2 friends who've divorced and oddly enough both lived with their Partners for lengthy amounts before marriage - one for 13 years before marrying (marriage lasted 18 months) another 7 years (marriage lasted 2 years).
I may be wrong, but it seems to me that if you haven't gotten married after a reasonable amount of time, then it's because either one - or both of you - don't want to be married.
In both my friends cases, there was one partner who was always saying that they'd 'get married one day' and the other agreeing. Even more bizarre is the fact that the one who kept saying it was the one who called it a day in both marriages. Maybe they were just trying to convince themselves that they wanted to be married? Either way, that piece of paper makes more difference than you'd think...
loveallthingsitalian
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If Mr L and I had even thought of living "in sin"(!!) before we married in 1971 we would have be drummed out of town!
In the past 45 years my view of marriage/not marriage/living together/living apart has changed on a regular basis but the one thing which has never changed is my annoyance of "we can't afford to get married" when they really mean "we can't afford a mega party" from people who have been living together for 10 years and have a couple of kids.
If you want to get married - get married, if you want a party- have a party but don't make one an excuse for the other.
The one thing I do find odd is that people find it dead easy to commit to having children with someone but wouldn't dream of committing to that actual person.
I also think that no matter what they say there is usually one in the couple more keen on the idea of marriage than the other.
But to each their own (just don't make it into a sales gimmick)
In the past 45 years my view of marriage/not marriage/living together/living apart has changed on a regular basis but the one thing which has never changed is my annoyance of "we can't afford to get married" when they really mean "we can't afford a mega party" from people who have been living together for 10 years and have a couple of kids.
If you want to get married - get married, if you want a party- have a party but don't make one an excuse for the other.
The one thing I do find odd is that people find it dead easy to commit to having children with someone but wouldn't dream of committing to that actual person.
I also think that no matter what they say there is usually one in the couple more keen on the idea of marriage than the other.
But to each their own (just don't make it into a sales gimmick)
shopperholic
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When me and my husband got married thirty years ago, any cheaper and they'd have been giving us money. Both my sons weddings cost a small mortgage, but we all had the wedding we wanted and we're happy and not a Frank Usher, Yong Kim or Flake in sight.
