Jumping to the phone... and other phrases you hate

[norbitonite]

That one drives me mad BL!
Package and bleedin postage...grrrr!

I've trained myself (proper use of the reflexive pronoun there, presenters please note!) to think of this as an endearing quirk so that I don't shout at the telly like a mad thing.

you get eight in number of these steaks/chops etc...

I haven't yet managed to stop shouting at the telly when Andrew from Exmoor Foods says this. I think that Craig is sometimes guilty of it, too.

Of the other expressions that have been mentioned here, 'utilise' instead of 'use' and 'fabrication' for 'fabric' or 'material' grate on me. As does the incorrect use of the reflexive pronoun, started by Ms Franks but now infecting the speech of several presenters.

 

[uptheferrets]

just opening their mouths sometimes winds me up!

but mainly these

referring to price 'only £xxx' forgetting the p&p which whacks it up
'giving you' - I'm still waiting if they are giving
'teacher presents' - yoiks do they think we are made of money? where did this start?

And so many others that have all been mentioned previously

 

[Suki 1]

Pippa yea yea yea

 

[queenie]

Pippa yea yea yea

yeah yeah yeah I know what you mean :cheeky:

 

[merryone]

High end department store.....aggh! What's wrong with good shop, or posh shop, if they really need to exaggerate?

Yummy mummy...double aggh!!!!! usually to describe handbags


Also find it highly irriatating when they ridiculously try to analyse the actual cost of something down to the last ha'penny....this cd set is just £7.99 so that works out than less than a penny a track, who cares? specially since you'll probably find there's about £1.50's worth you don't listen to anyway! that's if you're counting!

"Mum, if you're watching..order me one of these".....Yeah right!

Cookery shows......you can make your own for pennies, and you know exactly what's gone into it, forget the initial outlay for the "machine" the ingredients you have to buy, oh and the fact you'll soon get bored with it, and it will be covered in a generous layer of dust come Christmas,and the ingredients will be past their use by date!

 

[Crinklecut]

Jilly again( seems like she has lots) with todays TSV - "something we've never done before". There's me thinking ooh, perhaps it won't be a duvet set or a sheet set or bedding in general. Turns out it is just that, but it is reversible. Yes they have done reversible before but never as a TSV.
Wow - well that's a first ! Boring.

 

[medusa]

'Lickle' instead of little...

'Us Girlies' gahhh I,m an adult woman not some simpering ditzy 15 year old...

 

[craftybel]

"Mum, if you're watching..order me one of these".....Yeah right!

Me too!! As if they haven't seen the plan for the show, or spoken to the buyers about what is coming up and then could have phoned someone to order it beforehand! If they haven't they are not doing their ****** jobs properly anyway......!
When they act as though it's the first time they have clapped eyes on a product, I either want to know why they are lying to me, or alternatively, why they have such little respect for me as a customer, that they would try and flog me something that they haven't researched first! Touche!:grin:

 

[Ryan]

What I can't stand,is when the guest presenters ,who by their very nature of being called "guest presenters" are there to shift merchandise.Yet when they sell out ,some of them sit there with a sad look on their faces and go "oh I'm sorry" REALLY ??Are they sorry for selling what they came there to sell? It's disingenuous.I'd rather they say either " bad luck " to the people who wanted it ,but didn't "Jump to their phones " quick enough,or say nothing rather put on that little "sorry " act.

 

[craftybel]

What I can't stand,is when the guest presenters ,who by their very nature of being called "guest presenters" are there to shift merchandise.Yet when they sell out ,some of them sit there with a sad look on their faces and go "oh I'm sorry" REALLY ??Are they sorry for selling what they came there to sell? It's disingenuous.I'd rather they say either " bad luck " to the people who wanted it ,but didn't "Jump to their phones " quick enough,or say nothing rather put on that little "sorry " act.

That reminds me of a time when Dawn Bibby was on and the TSV sold out at 10am. The presenter she was with was guffawing and crowing because the TSV had sold out and saying "Well Done, Well Done" to everyone who had bought it. Then they dared to say that it was GREAT NEWS (obviously thinking about their sales targets, naturally). To which Dawn snapped-"Well it's not exactly great news for everyone who didn't manage to get it, is it?"
There's no pleasing some people! However-I had to agree with her on that occasion, as the buyers had clearly cocked up and not bought enough-it then meant craft OTO's all day for her and her team to suddenly make samples for, as it was a Craft Day.
Talk about an awkward moment on air-would have loved to have been a fly on the wall that day!!!!

 

[silversequin]

just imagine an item that one of them decribed using as many of the offending expressions as possible, it could go something like this:

"we are giving you an iconic, chocolate brown, buttery soft, iconic, fashion forward, item here, to be honest I wish i'd put my order in before the show started, ooh it's officially limited stock so jump to those phones...." and on and on and on. Can't think what this product could be but I bet you witty people can come up with some suggestions

 

[norbitonite]

Surely that would actually have to be a faux leather jacket from that literally iconic brand that we all buy into from legendary New York designer Dennis Basso. It could be dressed down with jeans and a white t-shirt for taking the kids to school, or we could dress it up with a statement piece of jewellery - which is a considered purchase unless you opt for Diamonique, which is in our opinion the best simulated diamond available and emulates flawless D grade diamonds so well that even jewellers have been known to be fooled and it's up to you whether or not you tell people that it's not real diamonds - for evening.

 

[merryone]

Another thing I've noticed is how they can seamlessly change their tune from one "hour" to the next; from 12-1 they've been banging on about how spending a small fortune on a "white elephant" for the kitchen that'll allow you to produce healthy/gourmet food for pennies is the way to go, but come 1:05 they'll be telling you that it's ok to spend £40 on a couple of air frozen sticky toffee puddings and another £50 on an assortment of steak n' strawberry pies 'cause let's face it making your own can be a bit "hit and miss" can't it? especially if you're having a dinner party....and of course it's up to you if you want to tell a "little white lie" and take the credit yourself!...which is fine until somebody asks you for "the recipe"....but here goes anyway

Turn your television on to channel 640 (Sky)
jot down the item number
jump to the telephone (or use Q-cut)
express your wish to order a sticky toffee/banoffee value pack
wait for one week
pick up the little card from the mat in the hallway
knock on Mrs Brown at no.25's door
search her hedges and outbuildings
come home, make quick phone call
check your dustbin (phew it's still there)
retrieve package
defrost (may not be necessary!)
plate up
serve to guests
Enjoy!

Simple!

 

[Gracie T]

Jilly H ... stay with us ... stay watching .... Jf ... second to none ... I suppose they all have their idiotic and annoying phrases ... Just makes me turn off the tv

 

[barbedwire]

Debbie Flint has started a new one off, I've lost count of the number of times today she's said 'This is causing a commotion on the phones...'

 

[talisker25]

It is the "jump on the phone" one that gets me!! Why would I want to jump on my phone??? :laughing:

It brings to the mind, hundreds of QVC viewers bouncing around on space hoppers.:cheeky::cheeky::cheeky: