Ideal World Product of the Year Award

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Gift Horse

Registered Shopper
Joined
Nov 9, 2024
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Another year gone and Ideal World certainly hasn't disappointed. As usual they have insulted the Great British Public with their characteristic dismal offerings of cheap useless tat, damaged goods, fake perfume and aftershave, medical products with no medical basis, snake oil supplements, dodgy Chinese electrical goods, grossly overpriced cosmetic products, air fryers that cost more than the oven you already have, etc.

Some suggestions for the award are as follows. But I know that there are many, many others...

1. Emu Balm
2. Collagen
3. Christopher Duchump Timepieces
4. Vibraplates
5. Gammon Fragrances
6. Ceramic heaters
7. Various 'inspired-by' counterfeit scents
8. Jacques de Manoir Divers Watches
9. Corded and cordless vacuum cleaners
10. Various food supplements with fantastical health benefits

So what has been your own personal favourite this year?
 
It's a toss up between Dirty Pedro sitting by that awful fake fireside and spending an hour wistfully blethering about the joys of not only looking at some glowing glass - or the great smell of Gammon.

Gammon has to be the worst-named product.
It's no surprise the company went out of operation and their desperate attempts to flog the bankrupt stock is never going to succeed.

A late contender came last night when Torchy was talking up a water feature ornament with built-in incense burner.
His contention that people would love the way smoke swirled down the ornament was absurd.
It was so far away from the sort of stuff Muriel and Enid might buy.
 
It's very hard to say anything positive about this latest version. They appear to have no moral scruples whatsoever about how they sell. Equally, they seem extraordinarily sensitive to any form of criticism- rarely dealing with it directly, but by a remarkable twist of the strongest of coincidence - forum usernames for their texts are sent in from tribute versions praising the very products they frequently call out on here, The message could be perceived that 'we' are watching you'. Though, Torchy to be fair, the other night, warned people or himself NOT to read here. It's very odd, I think, to have a business up and running for well over a year, and to find absolutely nothing to say praiseworthy in its favour.
 
Product wise, I'm tempted to vote for the Christopher WhatAChump watches. But the award for Consistently Poor Acting and Insulting the Public's Intelligence Beyond the Call of Duty must go to Pedro Pete. His 'ham' acting obviously owes a considerable amount to the influence of Gammon fragrances.

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house (hovel),
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse......and then:

"Oh blimey", says Pete, as he climbs into bed,
"This room it's just freezing - when Bet knows, I'm dead".
Bet enters the bedroom, all angry and fraught,
"You silly old git, where's the heater you bought"?
Says Pete: "sorry, Bet love, I really did try,
But the stock all sold out, so I can't 'av a buy'.
 
The Dunlop FM Radio. Finally…The far and away Product of The Year. Completely redundant. Hopelessly out of date, Only suitable for people wanting to return to summer 1977 and listening to static for tinnitus, as they hunt down Radio 2 on nonexistent long wave to listen to the Wade v Stove Ladies’ Final at Wimbledon. As perfect as a Pye set of tennis balls. A Grundig sports bag, or a DER rented tennis racquet. Next…Wilson air fryers…
 

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