I look forward to your company........

[Miss Grumpy]

It's infected television news as well. In fact, I think QVC got it from watching Sky, as Eamonn Holmes says things before and after the breaks like "don"t go away now". The Beeb has got its newsreaders flirting with the public too, "come back to us soon" before switching to the regional news.. Q has always had pretensions to be 'proper telly', so probably thinks that's the way to behave.

And I agree with all posters above. When I go to a dentists' or other waiting room, it drives me wild when someone fifty years younger than me greets me with my Christian name. I am tempted to say "The name is Grumpy, MISS Grumpy".

 

[Brissles]

A few years ago when I worked in the NHS, I always referred to outpatients by a title, and the older ones especially, appreciated it. One even thanked me for doing it as it happened to them so infrequently !

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I remember a few years ago our NHS workers had a policy to ask before.dropping the Mr/Mrs/Ms due to complaints but that doesn't seem to have lasted as the last time I was in hospital it was back to Christian names.

I don't really mind when it is during actual treatment as it is a bit more comforting but in other business matters I like to be more formal.

I have contact with a lot of more mature clients and in all those years I have always given them their full title but cringe when I hear staff younger than myself who don't know them from Adam speaking to them from the get go as Bobby, Joan, Fred etc. possibly not that important in the scheme of things but it's the way I was brought up.

 

[loujareth]

Funnily enough this thread reminded me of a recent encounter with a NHS specialist nurse who I had to ring back recently after one initial 20 minute consultation in which I got insulted and have been prompted to put a complaint in by 2 doctors, it was her manner. 'With all due respect' being the line that proceeded a terrible comment. She delayed a test because she thought she knew better and when I rang her back and asked her to move the date forward she called me flower and petal almost through gritted teeth....this woman does not know me and I have respect for the NHS normally but this is one bad apple.

 

[shopperholic]

When I worked for the NHS they didn't want us calling patients by their first names, or calling them love, hun or anything like that because it comes across as familiar when they wanted us to come across as professional and detached, they didn't want us becoming attached or a patient becoming attached to us, especially with the job we had to do, made it so much harder both ways, that was the main reason but they also thought calling someone by their first name in a professional environment was disrespectful.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I suppose in a caring environment it is hard to walk the line between respect and putting at ease.

 

[Honeybunny]

I work for an Adult Social Care Team and our policy is to always ask the client how they prefer to be addressed. The answers vary greatly, some older people like to be more formal and use their title but many more like us to use their first name and often comment that so few people call them by their name anymore as they get older and begin to lose their contemporaries - they tend to only be known as 'Mum' 'Gran' etc. An absolute no no is terms of endearment such as sweetheart or lovey which are deemed to be disrespectful and patronising. In fact our local authority conducted a client survey and being addressed in this way was the number one hate!!

 

[historymystery]

when I hear them spouting that carp about "the QVC family", I'm always reminded of the old saying..."you can choose your friends, but you're stuck with your family"

It's very patronising of them, but if they are my "family" surely I can borrow what I like then and not have to pay for it. :mysmilie_14:

 

[historymystery]

I know a lovely older gentleman, who responds to being called "love" by saying..."thanks, but I'm not your love". Years ago, I think it was an accepted form of address, particularly in the more old-fashioned family business type shops, but times have changed.

I work for an Adult Social Care Team and our policy is to always ask the client how they prefer to be addressed. The answers vary greatly, some older people like to be more formal and use their title but many more like us to use their first name and often comment that so few people call them by their name anymore as they get older and begin to lose their contemporaries - they tend to only be known as 'Mum' 'Gran' etc. An absolute no no is terms of endearment such as sweetheart or lovey which are deemed to be disrespectful and patronising. In fact our local authority conducted a client survey and being addressed in this way was the number one hate!!

 

[shopperholic]

I suppose in a caring environment it is hard to walk the line between respect and putting at ease.

Yes it is, especially for me who uses terms of endearment a lot, it's in my nature.

 

[historymystery]

just appalling - and for 2 doctors who were presumably her colleagues to urge you to make a complaint, she was obviously not a "first time offender" at what she was doing. Where do they get these people from - the Misfits Employment Agency? And this is at a time when people are at their most vulnerable, when they have to have tests or treatment; they should be even more careful of what they say.

Funnily enough this thread reminded me of a recent encounter with a NHS specialist nurse who I had to ring back recently after one initial 20 minute consultation in which I got insulted and have been prompted to put a complaint in by 2 doctors, it was her manner. 'With all due respect' being the line that proceeded a terrible comment. She delayed a test because she thought she knew better and when I rang her back and asked her to move the date forward she called me flower and petal almost through gritted teeth....this woman does not know me and I have respect for the NHS normally but this is one bad apple.

 

[shopperholic]

when I hear them spouting that carp about "the QVC family", I'm always reminded of the old saying..."you can choose your friends, but you're stuck with your family"

Ive not long finished watching The Sapranos box set and for me the term "The Family" conjures up a whole different picture...........The Mafia. :mysmilie_17:

 

[historymystery]

Oh heck, as I haven't purchased from "The Q" for over 3 years, does this mean I can expect to find a horse's head in my bed very soon? You would warn me, wouldn't you? Hang on, just had a phone call...they are making me an offer I can't refuse :mysmilie_17:

Ive not long finished watching The Sapranos box set and for me the term "The Family" conjures up a whole different picture...........The Mafia. :mysmilie_17:

 

[historymystery]

I'm the same - we use those sort of terms a lot within the family, and I've sometimes slipped up unintentionally to someone outside the family - I always apologise if I do, but most people are fine, and either say something to the effect that they're not offended or that they don't mind. I think what grates is if it's someone doing it all the time in a certain situation (such as the medical ones mentioned in these posts). After all, we all slip up sometimes, and all we can do is say 'sorry' if we do slip up; if people still make a big deal out of it after that, I think it's them that have the problem.

Yes it is, especially for me who uses terms of endearment a lot, it's in my nature.

 

[shopperholic]

Oh heck, as I haven't purchased from "The Q" for over 3 years, does this mean I can expect to find a horse's head in my bed very soon? You would warn me, wouldn't you? Hang on, just had a phone call...they are making me an offer I can't refuse :mysmilie_17:

Yes H I promise I'll always warn you. :mysmilie_17: You'll be able to refuse their offers though..........what offers you say? :mysmilie_17:

 

[Brissles]

That wouldn't be the offer of Liz Earle Cleanse & Polish ? that's what I always get offered.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I suppose it is better than being called by the wrong name (and I have a name no one should forget!)

 

[loujareth]

I'm a person who tries to see the good in everyone and I was very nice to this nurse and thought, maybe she does that as her bedside manner but it was cold and quite patronising - another call later her tone was different, professional and I got a full apology for making the wrong call as she put it and at no point did she call me flower or petal again. I haven't put a complaint in as the situation was rectified but I have been told I should have.

 

[countrymaid]

My Mum was about to come home from a palliative care unit as it was her wish to die at home. A visiting social worker asked my Dad "Tell me, my love, when do you think she will die then!" I asked her to leave his home immediately. Had she not, I think I would have kicked her out. Before anyone asks, no, I did not report her. It was all too much to deal with at the time.

 

[maymorganlondon]

Politeness costs nothing, but it's always important to remember that one person's polite and friendly can be another's offensive and over-familiar.

There are "stock phrases" that may be associated with American style customer service, but I don't think saying "have a nice day" is the worst thing anyone can say, although I used to forget saying it when I worked in McDonalds... I'd often get a response when I said it - usually "I bet you get sick of saying that"!! I appreciate it when you get to the till in a shop and they say "thank you for waiting", as they do in M&S amongst others. But a smile and courteous treatment are no hardship to give, so why not?

It gets my back up when total strangers address me by my first name, or even worse when people abbreviate my first name without asking me first. I'd assume formality first, and then ask if I could be more informal... but going beyond first names to love, duck etc in the wrong hands sounds really patronising and disrespectful (it's such a great way to cover up that you have no idea of the person's name and can't be bothered to learn it). Just my opinion, of course, and some may have absolutely no problem with it.